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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

AIBU for being annoyed with "partner"

56 replies

Elvispop12345 · 03/07/2020 12:01

My "partner's" ex will only allow him to see his child at her house with her yesterday she attacked me when I dropped him off by pulling my head thru my open car window and ripping my hair out (I called the police as had it on video) but it turns out my partner tells her things about me like that Iam trying to get my child's father to pay child support even though he chose not to see her and about arguments we have and the fact we don't use condoms during sex, also after she did what she did yesterday he walked into her house and left me alone during the day and told me he would break up with me if I phoned the police! The whole thing is completly childish as I have not even said a bad word to this "girl" she also chose to do all this in front of her poor child! Am I being unreasonable to be angry he discusses things with her and went of with his ex and his daughter instead of coming home with me to make sure I'm okay as I was pretty shook up by the whole thing and was shaking the rest of the drive hom? He says his ex will always come before me as she's his baby's mum is that normal?

OP posts:
Bodgedboxdye · 03/07/2020 12:05

Do you have children with your partner?

How classy, fighting in front of children. /:

Hailtomyteeth · 03/07/2020 12:05

You should read your post through. Why on earth are you with him?

Bodgedboxdye · 03/07/2020 12:05

The classy remark was about her, not you: (:

Sunnydayshereatlast · 03/07/2020 12:05

Walk away op. You really don't need to be party to their drama.

MrsSiriusBlack1 · 03/07/2020 12:07

Jesus, leave the crazies to it

TARSCOUT · 03/07/2020 12:07

Just go your seperate ways and grow up.

Bananalanacake · 03/07/2020 12:08

Why are you dropping him off, can't he walk or drive.

TartanTuesday · 03/07/2020 12:08

Good grief just leave them to it! She hasn't won if he goes back to her. She's got the booby prize.

Who needs this shit in their lives? Walk away!

Ohnoherewego62 · 03/07/2020 12:08

Why are you not using protection? Do you want another child??

Also, this is too much drama for you and your child. Let him go.

Atadaddicted · 03/07/2020 12:08

Poor child being brought up in this broken, dramatic, negative environment. What hope is there for this child when the parents around him behave like this

hellsbellsmelons · 03/07/2020 12:08

None of this is normal.
What on earth did you learn about relationships growing up OP???
This guy is an absolute cunt!
End of!
Dump him fast or your life will be miserable for far too long.

Well done on calling the police!
But this guy is not nice and you deserve far far better than this crap.

I'm assuming you are young.
Get out there and find a man without baggage and live a happy abuse free life!

I also suggest you look on-line and do the Freedom Programme which is run by Womens Aid.
This guy is abusive - massively abusive.
This course will help you spot red flags far sooner and help you avoid abusive twats like this in future.
You are ignoring red flags all over the place.
Stop it. Get out and do it fast!

RUN - THE HILLS ARE THAT WAY >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

properjambon · 03/07/2020 12:09

Why on earth are you not using condoms.

SerendipitySunshine · 03/07/2020 12:09

Leave them to each other.

Tatty101 · 03/07/2020 12:10

How old are you? This all sounds very immature - that poor child!

Littlefrog99 · 03/07/2020 12:15

I think you know your relationship is dead in the water. He sounds as awful as his ex so leave them to it. While you're stuck on him you won't be open to meeting a real man who makes you a priority.

Elvispop12345 · 03/07/2020 12:17

I'm 28 and I'm actually quite mature all this with him seeing his child at his ex's is very recent like past week recent, and we stopped using protection as we was getting on great and have been together for quite a while and with all this I highly doubt sex will be something we'd ever have again but if we was protection would 1000% be being used but tbh I think I'm done I'm shocked by how he's treated me this last week I really don't deserve this I've never once put a foot wrong said a bad word out of turn in our relationship and I'm just kicked to the curb like a piece of crap

OP posts:
Bodgedboxdye · 03/07/2020 12:21

I’d leave if I was you.

I couldn’t forgive someone that did that. Of course his child comes first, but not the ex.

End it and move on. Show you’re not gunna take this shit.

Xx

user1493413286 · 03/07/2020 12:21

I don’t think he is your partner to be honest; like you say you don’t deserve this and no it’s not normal for the mother of their child to come first. My DHs daughter comes first but her mum does not and there are boundaries.

AllsortsofAwkward · 03/07/2020 12:25

You dont sound 28. I wouldn't be surprised if hes seeing both of you hence her reaction. It's not normal, him disclosing personal information like that. Dont be his baby mama number 2 and for heavens sake put the dc in the situation first and end the relationship.

NotaCoolMum · 03/07/2020 12:28

Oh my god do you even need to ask? 🙄

SoulofanAggron · 03/07/2020 12:29

He seems to care more for her than you, even when she's violent against you. Shock

gardenchaos · 03/07/2020 12:29

Time for a sharp exit and be thankful for a lucky escape before you became pregnant and shackled to this hellscape.

SoulofanAggron · 03/07/2020 12:32

Age has nothing to do with it, this could happen to anyone. I had an ex's ex do it to me, and he made me drop the charges so she would help him declare himself homeless and get a council flat. The police thought I'd been intimidated into dropping them though, and still gave her a caution. She bit me!

ELW85 · 03/07/2020 12:32

Sounds like he’s trying to make her jealous of you and totally wouldn’t be surprised if they were still ‘together’

SoulofanAggron · 03/07/2020 12:32

I imagine OP is in shock.

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