That really. STBX and I split up after 20 years just over a year ago.
I live in a poxy flat with no money and try to be all Pollyanna.
I'm fed up with everyone. Custody of DS is shared and today, like a typical teen, he was trying to slope off onto Xbox instead of school, answering me in monotone and I flipped. Banned Xbox for life 
had a big rant and went off sobbing.
Came back and he was crying. Gave him a hug, apologised for losing it, explained I was under a bit of pressure and a bit worried about him. Unbanned the Xbox and made a cup of tea.
He is still not talking to me, I feel awful. I'm a dreadful parent, aren't I? I rarely lose my temper but that's no excuse. I should be able to act like a grown up.
I have been the grown up for so bloody long, his father is a manipulative arse and told Ds everything was my fault and I've had to fight to regain our relationship and now I've put it back to square one.