Are shoes a deal breaker?

[inmyshoos]

Lighthearted really....

Been talking to someone online. He's nice. Makes me laugh and we get on well. We've exchanged a few photos. He has completely opposite taste in footwear. The kinda things my teenage son might wear. Am I being hugely shallow

My old dad use to say " shoes,wallet and watch are what people notice on a man"

This is probably totally untrue but I've always noticed the above first .

Which is worse - wrong shoes but well-maintained, or right shoes but unpolished/tatty?

DP loves his brown Timberland deck shoes. He has had loads of identical pairs down the years, he wears them around the house, out & about in summer, with shorts, with jeans, on holiday etc etc. I love him despite his shoes ....

Ihopeyourcakeisshit Sat 13-Jun-20 14:13:23

Could I just add clicky shoes, you know the ones where men have some kind of steel bit on the heel that makes them noisy to walk in. I hate those.

^ THIS^ [GRIN]

Totally agree!

Not RTFT , if it annoys you now it will just GROW!

This is so horrible. Grow up. And think about how you would feel if a man wrote this about a woman.

I have a foot problem. I have to wear comfortable shoes. Thank goodness my husband isn’t a shallow arsehole.

Did you miss the bit where the OP said 'lighthearted' Barbar?

Go and get wound up about something important.

People always say “how would you feel if this was about a woman” - well, a dealbreaker is a dealbreaker! If someone takes against you for any reason at all, nothing’s going to convince them otherwise. It could be hair colour, height, football team, what they like to drink... we all make decisions about who we do and don’t want to date. Some of them are deemed socially acceptable and some are deemed shallow. But they’re still there. It’s just that people keep the shallow ones to themselves and make something acceptable up instead! Everyone you meet judges you in some way even if it’s just nice person/not so nice. It’s fine.

If you end up living together you can "accidentally" throw them out when he's not looking...🤷🏻‍♀️

Can you show us the picture @inmyshoos ?

Obviously remove any identifying features.

I was going to say - No, that's really shallow - but then read the message about someone's legs slamming shut when they saw their date with jeans tucked into cowboy boots.

So, I take it all back - I hear ya sister! I would have to draw the line at cowboy boots too.

I don't think I could date a man who didn't wear socks with his shoes. Which rules out deck shoes, and those lace up up slightly pointy ones that some young guys were wearing last year, with their ankles out.
I don't think think I've seen that since lockdown, everyone is in trainers/converse/flipflops round here.
Mind you DH is a very late convert to Crocs for slobbing round the house, he won't walk around in bare feet or flipflops, which I think is strange. He's not allowed out in Crocs, though.

I briefly dated someone who wore old bloke loafers but when I saw that he wore socks with crocs at home it was a step shoe too far!

www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.paperboysclub.com%2Fgoing-sockless-adversely-affects-your-foot-health-experts-opine%2F&psig=AOvVaw2qI7qjsvxIGFT6eJ-bHfHe&ust=1592153409260000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCOjD5-Wf_-kCFQAAAAAdAAAAABAQ

I'm not fussed about shoes really. My oh lives in his skater trainers but in the past I have always refused to date any man who wears skinny Jean's and if I can see their ankles 😅😅😅 it just makes me feel uncomfortable. So if it's not your thing then its not your thing 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

It does tell you something about him but only about his sense of style/how much he cares about his appearance. For me, lack of style is not a dealbreaker, no.

Absolutely for me. I hate trainers on men or women unless they are actually engaged in a sporting activity.

Any man who wears trainers as normal footwear would have a lot of ground to make up.

Awe guys it was just lighthearted. To those who think I'm a terrible person.... I'm not I met him for a walk. We get on. He makes me laugh. But I was honest and told him I hate them
I also know he will hate some of my shoes/clothes... It's OK. He's a nice guy and he has a great body. He won't be wearing his shoes when it matters most

As long as his underpants aren’t grey (one has to draw the line somewhere!) l’d go for it.

And tell him no shoes in the house!

"Ha ha! I have always frowned on trainers being worn except for sports/exercise."

What about walking? If I'm walking around town, I might not officially be exercising, but I don't want my feet to hurt.

Just seen you actually met him for a walk! Trainers were totally appropriate then!

I honestly couldn't care and my DH sometimes wears trainers. They are just shoes. I now have to wear sketchers due to my arthritis, so would be pretty disappointed if someone used that as a reason not to date me.

Clean clothes without holes, of course. Dressing appropriately for an occasion, also fine. If DH wants to wear jeans and trainers to the shops, who cares. I would rather have a lovely kind husband who doesn't cheat on me or treat me like crap than one who wore shoes I liked. I save my dealbreakers for bigger things, but as with many things, dealbreakers are subjective.

What an odd thread

We live rurally and trainers are very much the norm around here - for practical reasons as much as anything.

DH lives in his and I can't say I've ever thought to be bothered about it