Do husbands ever leave their wives?

[macbeam2020]

I knew a guy about 10 years ago. Casual relationship, got on great, amazing sex (nothing has compared). We have bumped into each other once or twice over the years and sent the odd hi how are you text. Both married / kids, although I'm now separated. Saw each other in the street a few weeks ago and started texting. It has got a bit carried away with talking about past encounters so I put the brakes on. He now tells me he wishes we'd properly dated and that he was just young and silly at the time. I said he can let me know if he is single again as no way would I consider seeing a married man. Do you think he is just using me or is there possibly something still there between us? I refuse to be someone's leftovers but I have always thought about him on and off over the years and wondered what if.

Hes looking for a shag.

Sometimes yes, they'll leave their wives. But it's the exception rather than the rule... and this guy, is just looking for some titillation to spice up his marriage.

Do yourself a MASSIVE favour and nip it in the bud now. I've seen so many women devastated by affairs with married men who never leave their wives.

Yep. He fancies a leg over.

Yes they do.
Mostly when their wife finds out they are a cheating sack of shite and boots them out, but sometimes through their choice.

Sounds like this bloke is putting feelers out to see if you'll let him fuck you.

My DP left his ex partner (not married). She had an affair and he found out about it.

When a mistress becomes a wife he creates a vacancy.

Best to stop it now, your both just escaping in to fantasy land or a virtual honeymoon period. It's not worth the misery and sadness it could potentially cause. Perhaps in time his marriage may come to an end and maybe not. Don't be the reason it fails!

If he is married just don't go there.

This will create untold pain, including for you.

Look at it from his perspective
He gets the nice home life meals kids washing done etc
And you for an ‘extra’ - a bit of fun and excitement on the side

He’s not going to leave his easy fun life unless his wife finds out and kicks him out

You deserve so much better Block him and move on

When a mistress becomes a wife he creates a vacancy. yawn

OP, what did he say to that?

Of course men often leave their wives. Doesn’t take long on here to see handfuls of examples.

Yes of course some men do leave. But usually after a LONG protracted period during which the other woman will be suffering.

OP - if this bloke doesn't mean too much to you, don't sign up to putting yourself through what could me years, and almost certainly at the very least many months of pain.

I imagine there's still something between you, but also he could be a user- or both, it needn't be an either or, he could be getting something out of his marriage.

If you don't do anything unless/until he leaves his wife, there's less chance you'll be fucked around. He'll respect you more and you can know you're doing the right thing.

It shouldn't even have gone this far while he's married, really.

They do leave their wives sometimes, but I imagine they maybe make sure they have someone lined up more often, IDK.

Do you know if they have DC, and/or she is earning? The more financial problems ending their marriage will throw up for either one, the harder it'll be for them to split up.

They sometimes do but usually only once the wife has found out and kicked them out!

Don’t go there OP - it’s really not worth it to be someone’s bit on the side.

Agree with pps. He just wants sex with somebody other than his wife.

Also all of that crap about how he didn't know what he was doing all of those years ago? That's a line. He did know , and he's never been interested in a relationship with you.

Stay away!

He is almost certainly looking for an affair. Perhaps his wife has lost interest in sex? It happens all the time when wives decide their nest is full, which is why so many men look elsewhere.

Will he leave his wife and children? If everything except the sex is fine, it’s highly unlikely. He will just find someone else to shag. If the marriage is unhappy in other ways, possibly.

Yes of course some men leave. Tell him you will consider dating him once he’s divorced. Then block all contact with him until he can show you his divorce certificate.

That will show you how serious he is about you.

What a naive question. What you clearly mean is 'Will THIS husband leave his wife for me?'

And I think that telling someone who is in a functional marriage to get back in touch if/when they become single is both incredibly dismissive of their spouse and family and is fairly straightforwardly telling them you'd gladly shag them.

Would you really want him if he was single as you know exactly what he is capable of whilst being married. You would never be able to trust him.

Of course some men leave their wives for another women. The real question is, who on earth would have low enough standards to look twice at that kind of man afterwards...? Suggest you get some counselling to work on your self esteem OP.

Oh give over!

You're worth so much more than this OP. No, he'll never leave his wife, a quick shag behind his wife's back maybe.

Personally, I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him. How many of us have heard the "I would have loved to have dated you properly" line?!

Understood loud and clear. All contact is now stopped. I don't want to end up hurt over nothing, or worse, ruin someone's marriage. That's not who I am.

Men dont normally leave their wives out of choice ,and certainly not without another woman to go to .(Obviously there are some exceptions but rare) This man is reliving your time together when young and carefree, and making a play for you now you are separated . This is dangerous territory, as you know because you wisely put the brakes on! Maybe have a look around for some nice unattached/already divorced men ?

Good call, OP. Stay clear of him.

There’s a recent thread on here about a wife finding texts on her husbands phone about amazing sex he used to have with an ex from way back in the day. The general consensus is to the husbands actions are disgusting-
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3930611-Husband-sending-beyond-flirty-texts-to-ex

Good on you OP. Honestly, it's not worth the heartache.

Find someone who will be proud to be seen in public with you, and who you can call at any time of the day without him needing to hide you away.