Red Flags?

[Mermaidwaves]

I've got chatting to a seemingly nice man online, due to have a social distance date outside tommorow. I have concerns though.

1. Immediately told me I'm "out of his league" really I'm not that special
2. Is already saying he really likes me and wants to show me off to his friends
3. Wants to delete his profile even though we havent met yet
4. Has told his mum! And his friends about me, see above re. not having met.
5. Is full of flowery compliments and pet names. Wants to send pizza to my work as I work in healthcare and wants to 'show his appreciation' to healthcare workers.
6. Keeps telling me how everyone thinks he's lovely and a great guy.

I need to cancel and run dont I?

I would not be meeting this man. He's a love bombing weirdo. Red flags galore.

Wow.. yep I’d be very weary about meeting!

Yeah, red flags. He is desperate to have a girlfriend, but anyone will do.

You are wise to be concerned and I would cancel this meeting immediately. You will also need to block him from being able to contact you in future as well.

This man has more red flags about him than are present at a Communist Party rally.

When someone is telling you "I'm not that special" before you've even met them, please believe this. So many red flags.

Runnnn!

Its disappointing because it started off promising, a guy who can actually string a sentence together! But I'm starting to have a feeling of dread not excitement.

Never ignore your gut feelings. Cancel the meet-up and block him.

He's way OTT. You just know that it's not about you, you could be anyone.

Do you even have to ask? if you've even a sliver of doubt, block and run. Agreed, more red flags than a communist rally

Yes my gut is telling me no, if it wasnt for MN I would have no idea what love bombing is!

Have you not cancelled this meet up as yet?.

Do not meet him. Your feelings of dread are valid and should not be ignored.

There are also plenty of men out there who can both string a sentence together and not act like described in your initial post. What are your own boundaries like in relationships?.

I would also read this article:-www.drjoecarver.com/clients/49355/File/IdentifyingLosers.html

Of course it started off well. That's what love bombing is. It feels amazing. Luckily he's not very good at love bombing, or he'd wait until you'd moved in with him before waving all these flags in your face.

I hope you're joking re stringing a sentence together, and that your standards are waaaay higher than that.

‘Keeps telling me how everyone thinks he’s lovely and a great guy’

Biggest one of all. No sane person even considers saying something like this because they aren’t trying to paint a false picture of themselves. People with agendas and who aren’t nice however, go out of their way to convince you of how great they are. Jesus Christ please don’t go.

Please not NOT meet him. Its so easy to get swept away in things you may want to hear, or that he ticks a lot of boxes. Believe me, this would not end well. What well-rounded adult would go on like this.
If he has to say he's a nice guy, he's probably not.

No, it's too weird. Block.

This is how my last "relationship" started . If it wasn't for one thing you said that wasn't true in my case I would wonder if it was the same man.

It ended very badly and I now think there is something very wrong with him.

Lovebombing is now a deal-breaker for me . At the very least it doesn't show the integrity of taking time to know you before idealising you . At the worst it's done to trap you in a situation that could cause you great harm.

There are much better men out there for you .

You would actually be surprised how many men online cannot string a sentence together! And yes obviously my standards are higher that that.

Do NOT meet this man. He's going to be overbearing, cringeworthingly lovebombing and guilt trip you into seeing him again if you don't want to. If you meet up you're going to have that dread feeling for a lot longer.

I would cancel saying I had COVID symptoms, that you want to just rest so won't really be on your phone for the week and then block him.

He will have found a new target by then as lovebombers need someone new to play with if they're lonely.

Please tell me you're going to cancel?

Yeah , mine could write and converse beautifully . It's one of the things I miss . But it didn't take long for him to use those skills to make me feel awful.... Honestly . Keep searching for the sentence maker who doesn't have this many red flags .... Don't do what I did and see things and ignore them while getting more and more entwined . The frog in the the pot analogy . You have good instincts and they are telling you something is wrong . That's amazing .

It’s either love bombing (big time) or he’s over excited and is getting WAY ahead of himself before you’ve even got to know him. Maybe he’s not used to dating and still thinks it’s like when you’re 16 and “will you go out with me?” means instant serious relationship. If he’s just come out of a relationship he’s had since quite young that might be it, but I’d be very wary as it probably is love bombing!!! I had a friend who was so desperate to be in a relationship she was posting about weddings, bows on chairs (at the wedding) and how she couldn’t wait to spend the rest of her life with her boyfriend after only a few dates!!!

I will cancel folks, and some of you get what I mean about an articulate guy, when online dating so many blokes just grunt yeah to every sentence, that when one comes along who is interesting to talk to it does peak your interest. You've all confirmed my doubts.

I would be very wary tbh. If he’s telling you everyone tells him he’s a lovely guy why is that??? Trying to paint a false picture of himself probably.

He is 46 but lied about his age on his profile saying 43, so not a naive young fella.

Good for you Mermaidwaves!!!