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Original poster

I want to cheat / have open relationships

53 replies

Meganc95 · 06/06/2020 14:56

Hello I'm 24 iv been with my husband nearly 8 years,5years married iv known him sense I was 16 he was my first bf first kiss first everything and hes 7 years older than me so definitely had experiences and I dont know why feel like I want to cheat or have an open relationship we have talked about it and there are times I really want to and then others I don't I'm confused as I love my husband and at the beginning things were extremely exciting and our sex life now is still grate it's just been on my mind for quite a while

OP posts:
Batshittery · 06/06/2020 14:59

Really. And how did your husband feel about an open relationship?

wishfuldreamer · 06/06/2020 14:59

What’s been the outcome of your discussions around an open relationship? Not great, I assume, if you’re also contemplating cheating?

iklboo · 06/06/2020 15:01

You got married too young, too soon.

category12 · 06/06/2020 15:01

Well, which is it?

If he's alright with an open relationship, try it together. Or swinging. It is a complicated thing to negotiate and often ends badly, but if you want some strange that badly, it's the most ethical.

Cheating, on the other hand, makes you an asshole.

RedRed9 · 06/06/2020 15:02

You were 16 and he was 23 when you got together?

Batshittery · 06/06/2020 15:03

What's with all the cheating threads this afternoon? Is there something in the air?

Aquamarine1029 · 06/06/2020 15:04

Get a divorce and save yourself the aggravation.

Original poster
Meganc95 · 06/06/2020 15:07

He really wants an open relationship and have talked about it so more that way then cheating it's not that I want to its iv been thinking about it and I do feel bad for it I love him very much I'm just worried that if I agree will it change things and yeah I was 16 and he was 23 but age isn't a thing in my family or his as both his dad and mine are 10 years older then our mothers

OP posts:
backseatcookers · 06/06/2020 15:08

You were 16 and he was 23? Grim.

Cheating and open relationships are totally different.

Open relationships involve both partners in a relationship being happy with either one or both of them having sexual relationships with other people.

Cheating is doing it and not telling your partner.

So which is it you want to do?

Original poster
Meganc95 · 06/06/2020 15:08

Any idea on how to change the cheating to just open relationship 😂 it's what popped up and I'm new to this

OP posts:
wishfuldreamer · 06/06/2020 15:09

Why do you feel bad about an open relationship, if it’s also something he’s interested in trying?

wishfuldreamer · 06/06/2020 15:11

And yes, opening your relationship will change it. And it’s not something you should really think about doing to ‘fix’ any problems in you’re relationship. You need to think carefully about why you both want to try it.

You also need to think of it not as your existing relationship opening, but more like your old relationship ending and a new one beginning.

Original poster
Meganc95 · 06/06/2020 15:12

I dont want to cheat its just it's in my head an open relationship is what I'd like to do but also worried becuse I dont want it changing out relationship

OP posts:
wishfuldreamer · 06/06/2020 15:14

What are you worried will change?

BabyBrainJane · 06/06/2020 15:16

Ahh reading your later posts more clearly reveals the original suggestion for this seems to have come from him?

Original poster
Meganc95 · 06/06/2020 15:16

@wishfuldreamer thank you for your comment

OP posts:
Original poster
Meganc95 · 06/06/2020 15:19

@BabyBrainJane yes but I'm not against it's just hard to explain Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
Meganc95 · 06/06/2020 15:21

@wishfuldreamer how he is with me I love him and I know he loves me its becuse I was a virgin when I met him and I dont know if it would change things how he sees me

OP posts:
Paperchainpopp · 06/06/2020 15:21

People commenting on OP’s age gap with her bf now husband it happens all the time my mother was 17 and my father was 10 years older than her.

I think it’s not the age gap that’s the main issue it’s more you settled down really young and in some cases it works but in a lot of cases it’s a common problem that you grow and change as a person. So who ever you were at 16 as a person you won’t be the same exact person at 26 and this is the problem here.

wishfuldreamer · 06/06/2020 15:23

I think you need to try and articulate your feelings, at least to yourself, more clearly, and work out what exactly you feel about this.

iklboo · 06/06/2020 15:23

Do you have any children?

1235kbm · 06/06/2020 15:24

OP, your husband has asked you for an open relationship.

How do you feel about him having sex with others? Is he bisexual? Does he want sex with only women or is he into men as well?

Was this something you wanted before he mentioned it?

I'm just trying to gauge how much of an influence he has on you.

notheragain4 · 06/06/2020 15:25

I don't think you married too young or too soon. I just don't think you are as into your DH as you should/want to be. I've been with my husband since teenagers, all the firsts and onlys etc, married younger than most, decades later still very much in love and never had feelings of missing out because I've got all I could want.

If you want to see other people, you just aren't into your DH and should think about ending the relationship. It's not normal to feel that way to the extent you want to action it (IMO).

Regularsizedrudy · 06/06/2020 15:25

A 23 year old has no business dating a 16 year old :/

Do you actually want an open relationship? Or has it come from him? Are you happy in your relationship otherwise? It sounds a bit like you’re staying because it’s all you’ve ever known...

wishfuldreamer · 06/06/2020 15:25

Ah, sorry, just saw your reply to me. I don’t think I quite understand your point about your virginity. I can make some guesses as to where you’re going, but I’d like you to say more clearly what you mean there. Change how he sees you in what way?