I have no idea who is right

[Cloudwatching57]

Firstly I apologise that this sounds so petty!! This has of course been magnified in lockdown.
We have been married 12 years, 2 children. In general I'm usually fairly happy, though there are things that are less than ideal that I've had to compromise on or deal with eg he is not social at all and doesn't like going out. So I do that alone/with friends.
An argument that rears its head again and again is this:
He says I am overly critical and contrary. So whatever he says, I take the opposite stance or raise the opposite end of the debate. He says I do this to put him down and treat him like a child.
I say there are several reasons for this -

1. He is incredibly negative a lot of the time and I simply can't agree with him that everything's so terrible.
2. We disagree about some things (perhaps a lot) and I don't see anything wrong with saying what I think.
3. I like to consider all sides of an argument and so will raise the other angle often - even if it's not my opinion, I'm just musing out loud.

He says I'm controlling and dictatorial about the house because I say no to some things eg chop down a tree. I point out other things around the house that he had decided on/had final word, but these are apparently small things.

This argument comes about because he has been very silent and moody, staying away from me around the house etc. I've been asking what's going on, why aren't we talking etc and he for days has said nothing's wrong. Finally today said I'm so critical/contrary and it makes him not want to talk to me.

Any thoughts?

Thanks @Onemansoapopera, yes I am just quick on my feet. I'm not remotely competitive in other ways (games or sport) but I suppose I am in conversation.
That's very interesting @spagbog5 because I went to Oxford and my husband often says he's "been Oxbridged" when I do this (though this is when he takes it light-heartedly)
Thank you @speakball, the fact that it does seem slightly abusive worries me, but on the other hand he says he's so worn down by being contradicted all the time, so from. His pov it's me who is sort of "abusive". If someone was always arguing with you, you would withdraw and avoid lengthy conversations. He doesn't literally ignore me, just keeps communication neutral and minimum. As far as parenting... I don't think it makes much difference. It's subtle enough that I myself wonder if I'm imagining it (perhaps he's just busy/tired), so I doubt the children notice. He is still chatty and cheerful with them.

I think really I need to stop challenging everything, pick only things that are actually important, and be kinder about the way I talk, ie less blunt. I have asked him in return to just challenge my behaviour in the moment so I can "see" it, rather than withdrawing.

Op I'd like you to keep googling and reading about the terms that have been used here. Gaslighting
Stonewalling
Projecting
And DARVO

And keeping communication to a minimum for days is abusive.

After reading your last post op it might be a case of 'picking your battles' I used to refuse to engage in conversation with my ex about politics. In my mind he was ill informed and used to spout the most utter tish, but I could guarantee it would end in a row if we did discuss it. So I just stopped. That and his need to talk about wine which he also knew fuck all about and ended up sounding like Donald trump