You’ll be surprised how much your self esteem improves once you start not tolerating certain things and people in your life. Take control of your life and don’t live in fear of the unknown."
This. As PP have said, your BF sounds quite cruel and that is a truly unpleasant characteristic. You've given him your 20s - please don't waste any more time on him. I think he has fed into your poor self-esteem. From what you say, he certainly behaves in an unloving manner. Irrespective of the children issue, who wants to feel that their partner of 10 years doesn't love them and isn't committed to them? It's bound to undermine your self-esteem. It's not his job to fix you but it suggests the relationship is not good for you.
You cannot risk having DC with anyone who is not completely on board with the idea - the early years of parenting place a huge strain on even the strongest of relationships where both partners were committed to having a family. He might genuinely not want children at all; he certainly doesn't seem to want them with you. Since you've been together a decade, he would know by now if he did want them with you. You got together young - particularly him - I suspect he probably wants to try another relationship or two before he settles down - and I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with that but he should have the guts to be honest with you about it rather than keep you dangling.
The thing is that he can comfortably father children in his 40s and 50s, even his 60s. You are in a different position. He could keep you dangling for another decade with the promise of children and then, just as your fertility window is closing or closed, bugger off with a younger woman with whom he then proceeds to have children. There are women this has happened to. Don't be one of them. Even if he doesn't do that, I can promise you that if you are committed to the idea of having children (and it sounds like you are), there will come a time when you regret having chosen him over having children because he will not be able to make up for it; apart from anything, he's simply not a nice enough BF to be worth making that sacrifice for. I knew I wanted children and it would have been a deal-breaker for me.
But you know, whether or not you want children, I think you should cut this guy loose. You say the relationship has never been plain-sailing. All relationships have their bumpy patches, but actually what amazed me when I found my now DH (I was about 30 at the time so very similar age to you) was just how easy it was and how secure I felt in the relationship. That's a sign of a relationship that's a keeper. Yours sounds like it's run its course. At 32, you still have plenty of time to build a relationship with someone who shares your desire for children - I had my first at 35 and have numerous friends who had their first child in their late 30s or early 40s. Just cut this guy loose, though - the relationship has run its course and he's stopping you getting on with your life.
Good luck, OP!