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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Really don't know what to do!

85 replies

Miss2009 · 01/06/2020 14:25

I'm a 32 year old female and I've been with my boyfriend, who is two years younger, for just over 10 years. Our relationship has never been plain sailing. We broke up a few times at the start of our relationship and got back together because we love eachother. I cut back on talking about marriage and having kids as he kept feeling pressured. Years went by and just before my 30th birthday I started talking about having kids in the future. He freaked out and said he never wants kids. This was a shock to me because I have always envisioned having a family, even more so with him, and the thought of not having that is heartbreaking. We talked about it some more and he said having kids is a possibility. Whenever we have a disagreement now, he goads me by saying he's never having kids with me and arrogantly smiles about it. I end up getting upset and think about ending the relationship. Then he apologises and we try to resolve the situation but he ends up saying, maybe, at the possibility of having kids again. Someone recently asked us if we have plans to marry and have kids in the future. I told them we talk about it and it's in our plans. However, his response was that kids weren't in his his plans and has apparently told family and friends that we don't plan on having kids. I feel that I should end the relationship and move on because the thought of not having children kills me. The thought of not being with him breaks my heart. My self esteem isn't great. He's been my one and only boyfriend. I feel if I leave him I won't find anyone else or have the family I've always dreamed of and end up alone for the rest of my life.

OP posts:
category12 · 01/06/2020 18:38

Zaphod, I think she means she'd never meet someone and therefore die alone. Which, given women outlive men for the most part, most of us have to look forward to, partnered or not. Grin

Anyhow, OP, it's catastrophising, and very unrealistic. It's born out of your low self-esteem and the way he treats you (as I bet there's a whole load more crap to go with the behavious you've described).

Babdoc · 01/06/2020 18:44

OP, you say “My self esteem is not great”. I think you’ll find your partner is the reason for that.
He is cruel, goading, manipulative and using you.
Please listen to all the posters telling you to leave him. And don’t rush into another relationship until you have spent a little time rebuilding your confidence, learning to assert your own needs, and recognising when a man is abusive.
Use your soon to be ex as a role model of what to avoid in a partner.
There are 3.8 billion men on this planet - don’t waste more years and your remaining fertility on one who is a shit.

MrsGrindah · 01/06/2020 18:44

Let’s face it OP he’d be a shit dad anyway...why would you want to inflict that on your future kids?

LycraLovingLass · 01/06/2020 18:47

You need to choose which you want more, him or children.

And if you thought about choosing him, don't he treats you appallingly, so much so that the children thing is actually a red herring.

backseatcookers · 01/06/2020 18:55

You need to choose which you want more, him or children.

This. And he sounds horrible so I hope you choose wisely.

What a nasty person to dangle the carrot of children then sneer at taking it away.

You're 32, you spent your twenties with him - don't give this prick your thirties too.

You have plenty of time to meet someone lovely who is a genuinely nice person and treats you well.

TorkTorkBam · 01/06/2020 19:07

The arrogant goady smile designed to hurt you tells me that your self-esteem will sky rocket when you are free of this mean little wanker man.

Be free.

longtimecomin · 01/06/2020 19:09

Dump him, he's awful

HazelBite · 01/06/2020 19:24

Op he's got no intention of ever having a child with you, it suits him for the moment to keep you hanging on in there.
I don't think he actually likes you very much, as he is not being 100% honest with you.
There are plenty of men out there who really want to be parents, ten years with this manipulator is too long, you have grown in different directions.
Put yourself and what you want first.

OtterBe4 · 01/06/2020 19:27

I feel if I leave him I won't find anyone else or have the family I've always dreamed of and end up alone for the rest of my life
You’re not going to have it if you stay with him, he sounds a nasty cunt, walk away, you’re young, find someone who shares your dreams.

Anydreamwilldo12 · 01/06/2020 19:35

What a bastard, stringing you along and actually finding it funny that he can string you along like that. He is treating you terribly OP. You have plenty of time to find someone who truly appreciates you and who will want a family with you. Tell him to sling his hook, he's taken up enough of your precious time and emotions.

whywhywhy6 · 01/06/2020 19:40

Move on. He’s nasty and you don’t want the same things.

tenlittlecygnets · 01/06/2020 19:41

He sounds nasty. He knows how much you want dc and is taunting you about it. Leave now and give yourself more time to find someone. You have plenty of fertile years left! Plus, I bet your poor self esteem will improve after you leave him...

lovelocks · 01/06/2020 20:08

He doesn’t want kids. He’s making that clear OP so you need to move on and find someone more mature that’s actually ready to settle down.

You’ll be surprised how much your self esteem improves once you start not tolerating certain things and people in your life. Take control of your life and don’t live in fear of the unknown.

Dery · 01/06/2020 20:55

You’ll be surprised how much your self esteem improves once you start not tolerating certain things and people in your life. Take control of your life and don’t live in fear of the unknown."

This. As PP have said, your BF sounds quite cruel and that is a truly unpleasant characteristic. You've given him your 20s - please don't waste any more time on him. I think he has fed into your poor self-esteem. From what you say, he certainly behaves in an unloving manner. Irrespective of the children issue, who wants to feel that their partner of 10 years doesn't love them and isn't committed to them? It's bound to undermine your self-esteem. It's not his job to fix you but it suggests the relationship is not good for you.

You cannot risk having DC with anyone who is not completely on board with the idea - the early years of parenting place a huge strain on even the strongest of relationships where both partners were committed to having a family. He might genuinely not want children at all; he certainly doesn't seem to want them with you. Since you've been together a decade, he would know by now if he did want them with you. You got together young - particularly him - I suspect he probably wants to try another relationship or two before he settles down - and I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with that but he should have the guts to be honest with you about it rather than keep you dangling.

The thing is that he can comfortably father children in his 40s and 50s, even his 60s. You are in a different position. He could keep you dangling for another decade with the promise of children and then, just as your fertility window is closing or closed, bugger off with a younger woman with whom he then proceeds to have children. There are women this has happened to. Don't be one of them. Even if he doesn't do that, I can promise you that if you are committed to the idea of having children (and it sounds like you are), there will come a time when you regret having chosen him over having children because he will not be able to make up for it; apart from anything, he's simply not a nice enough BF to be worth making that sacrifice for. I knew I wanted children and it would have been a deal-breaker for me.

But you know, whether or not you want children, I think you should cut this guy loose. You say the relationship has never been plain-sailing. All relationships have their bumpy patches, but actually what amazed me when I found my now DH (I was about 30 at the time so very similar age to you) was just how easy it was and how secure I felt in the relationship. That's a sign of a relationship that's a keeper. Yours sounds like it's run its course. At 32, you still have plenty of time to build a relationship with someone who shares your desire for children - I had my first at 35 and have numerous friends who had their first child in their late 30s or early 40s. Just cut this guy loose, though - the relationship has run its course and he's stopping you getting on with your life.

Good luck, OP!

sunflowersandtulips50 · 01/06/2020 21:00

He is the kind of man who would likely move on quickly if you split and have a baby with someone else. Dont waste your time with him. You want different things and it doesnt sound like a great relationship anyway. Your still young

Sally2791 · 01/06/2020 21:00

Get rid, he’s nasty. He’s just stringing you along. Please get some help with your self esteem and keep away from gits like him

Delbelleber · 01/06/2020 21:13

There will be some guy out there wishing he could meet a woman to settle and have kids with... Leave your bf and that guy will come in to your life when you least expect it

KatherineJaneway · 02/06/2020 06:38

We talked about it some more and he said having kids is a possibility. Whenever we have a disagreement now, he goads me by saying he's never having kids with me and arrogantly smiles about it. I end up getting upset and think about ending the relationship. Then he apologises and we try to resolve the situation but he ends up saying, maybe, at the possibility of having kids again.

Sorry OP but he's dangling the possibility of having children as a way to keep you in the relationship. He doesn't want children, or at least not with you.

My advice is to end the relationship. You're young enough to find someone new who wants the same things in life that you do. This man won't be your last love. If you break it off he will inevitably start making 'let's hane lifts noises' but unless he agree to start straight away, it's a con. There'll always be some excuse.

Good luck Flowers

cansmellfreedom · 02/06/2020 06:57

Time waster bin him. You want different things it’s very clear. You can’t force someone to have kids if they don’t want to and he’s horrible as he’s lying to u stringing you along then will dump you when it’s too late.

Zaphodsotherhead · 02/06/2020 08:41

I'm afraid, cansmellfreedom that you very much can force someone to have kids if they don't want to. But I agree with you that this man is stringing OP along and he also sounds nasty - doing a 'smug smile' when they argue and taunting her.

How DARE he!

RLEOM · 03/06/2020 14:34

He's nasty. Don't waste your fertile years on this douche.

Miss2009 · 04/06/2020 14:01

Thank you for all your comments. I can see things more clearly and I know what to do. However, my low self esteem is eating away at me and making me so anxious. He's likely to tell me to f* off and say I've caused an argument and then ignore me by sleeping. He's done this many times. All l I want to do is have a calm conversation to let him know how I feel and let him go.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 04/06/2020 14:06

Why would you waste your time having a conversation you know he won't listen to? All you'll get is more abuse. Dump him and get the fuck out of there. I wouldn't waste the air in my lungs saying anything to him.

C0RA · 04/06/2020 14:09

You don’t need to tell him how you feel, he knows and he doesn’t care.

Please make plans to leave , then once they are in place, tell him you are going because you want different things in life.

DONT a try to get him to agree with you and agree that it’s ok for you to leave. It suits him to keep you, he won’t be happy that you are going.

Once you have moved out, please go for counselling. It will help a lot.

C0RA · 04/06/2020 14:10

Ha ha magic x post with @Aquamarine1029