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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Will he ever talk to me again?

65 replies

DollyJM · 27/05/2020 13:40

I broke up with my boyfriend a week and a half ago and he last messaged me on Thursday at 2am to let me know he was ok after I asked him if he was as I was told he was withdrawn from everyone after break up.

I replied to him after that but I haven’t heard from him since, a week almost.. will I ever hear from him again?

I regret ending things with him 💔

OP posts:
jellytots2020 · 27/05/2020 13:43

He's probably trying to move on after you've ended things. If you want to make it work, and so does he, maybe reach out. Otherwise leave him to heal and be really careful not to string him along because you're feeling guilty or confused, that would be unfair.

Crystalspider · 27/05/2020 13:51

He may not contact you again as you broke up with him.
If you really think it's a mistake then you may have to contact him again, explain why you broke up and is there a solution to it? Think about if it's really worth it, is the same problem likely to re-occur? you don't want to be going round in circles in making and breaking up.

tiredandemosh1 · 27/05/2020 14:05

Hi OP , is this the 42 year old who lives with his mum? Apologies if not.

Original poster
DollyJM · 27/05/2020 14:09

@jellytots2020 I have reached out but apart from the text Thursday morning I haven’t heard from him. Felt like he replied at 2am knowing I couldn’t reply and when I did he’s ghosted me

OP posts:
Original poster
DollyJM · 27/05/2020 14:10

@Crystalspider yeah I’ve tried this, I just don’t know if he’ll reply again 😔

OP posts:
Original poster
DollyJM · 27/05/2020 14:10

@tiredandemosh1 sorry think is the wrong thread you’re on, I haven’t spoken about his age x

OP posts:
picklemewalnuts · 27/05/2020 14:11

Why did you break up with him?
What has changed that you regret it?

Best to leave him alone, it's annoying when people who've dumped you try and keep you on a string.

TheStoic · 27/05/2020 14:11

How old are you both, OP?

Why did you end it?

GreyGardens88 · 27/05/2020 14:12

Why did you break up with him then? I would never get back together with someone that broke up with me, I don't blame him for not wanting to speak to you again.

Original poster
DollyJM · 27/05/2020 14:13

@picklemewalnuts I ended it whilst we were arguing so it was in the heat of the moment and I really regret it 😫 I didn’t mean it I was just angry at the time

OP posts:
noyoucannotcomein · 27/05/2020 14:25

Why didn't you tell him you regretted it, instead of waiting to be told he has withdrawn, and asking if he was okay?

No, he might. It take you back, but it does sound like you're playing games with him.

picklemewalnuts · 27/05/2020 14:25

So instead of texting asking 'are you ok?' you should have apologised.

noyoucannotcomein · 27/05/2020 14:25

*Might not take you back

Original poster
DollyJM · 27/05/2020 14:28

I have apologised and apologised and apologised and also asked if he was okay

He only replied to the message where I asked him to let me know if he was alright

OP posts:
Original poster
DollyJM · 27/05/2020 14:29

Will he ever message me again? It’s been almost a week since I last heard from him 😣😢

OP posts:
TheStoic · 27/05/2020 14:31

No, he won’t. Not after this long.

noyoucannotcomein · 27/05/2020 14:36

Then I think you need to learn from this and move on. I don't think he'll be in touch. You need to leave it be now.

Zaphodsotherhead · 27/05/2020 14:37

Maybe you just said what he was already thinking - the relationship is over.

You may regret it ending, doesn't mean he does, unfortunately.

walkingchuckydoll · 27/05/2020 14:43

Did you actually ask to get back together or did you just apologize for the argument?

walkingchuckydoll · 27/05/2020 14:46

I ended it whilst we were arguing so it was in the heat of the moment and I really regret it 😫 I didn’t mean it I was just angry at the time

Oh my, that can be bad. You need to be more careful with that in future. A lot of people will see that as playing a game or trying to gain control and will never come back. My SIL learnt this the hard way too, she told her boyfriend to fuck off and don't come back. He refused to come back after she apologized and begged for another chance.

Original poster
DollyJM · 27/05/2020 14:49

@walkingchuckydoll both :(

OP posts:
Original poster
DollyJM · 27/05/2020 15:45

Bump

OP posts:
Original poster
DollyJM · 27/05/2020 16:17

I messaged him this just now

“Hey, how are you? Would be great to hear from you so we could talk and work things out. I miss you and hope we can xx”

Hoping this garners a response

OP posts:
BarbedBloom · 27/05/2020 16:31

I don't keep in touch with my exes. I always draw a line under it and move on. I also wouldn't go back if someone ended it after an argument. The time to do that was the day after really, but even then for some it would be too late.

I think you may need to accept that this is over and use it to learn that some things said in arguments can't be taken back, however much you regret them. I think you accepting it is now too late is your first step to moving on.

Zaphodsotherhead · 27/05/2020 20:24

I think, if he wanted to talk and work things out, he would have been in touch before now.

Don't contact him again. If he wants to, he knows where you are. And you may well look back on all these messages and cringe in future.

Sometimes when it's over, it really is over, however much you wish it wasn't.