So I'm after some advice. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years. 2 and a half years ago I found out that he had been using sites to meet random women for sex, and has had some threesomes.
I asked him for complete honesty, I wanted to know how many times, why, and so on. He told me that he was a sex addict, and that he had already stopped using the sites, and deleted his account before I found out. He had been on the sites since before he had met me, whilst he was in his previous relationship.
He went for counselling, his choice, and I agreed to move on and leave it behind us.
About 2 months ago, he had a message off a man who he had met during a threesome. My bf phoned the guy (he says to tell him that he had left that life behind) and the guy told him that not long after the meet, his partner found out he was expecting. They now have a nearly 3 year old son. The guy wanted to know if he would like to do a paternity test, my boyfriend said no.
My boyfriend did not tell me about this until today. He contacted the guy today and said he would like the test, but asked if the mum knew, the guy said no, and he's 99% sure that it's not my boyfriend's anyway. My boyfriend asked what would happen if they had a test, and he was the father, the guy said nothing. It would change nothing. So they both agreed to forget about it.
I'm so confused. He tells me that he loves me, and this is all in the past. Although, he never told me about this threesome. He's also now told me about some other hook ups he had, although is adamant that nothing has happened since I first found out.
I'm in turmoil. I love this man immensely. I have children who love him, and he has a son, who I love and is a part of my family.
How many lies does one woman tolerate? What of this child turns out to be his? Should I be encouraging him to find out? The dates work, just, if she was late giving birth, if she was early, then it can't be his.
Am I completely delusional to stay in this relationship? Should I trust him? Should I run for the hills? Are there better men out there?
I hope someone can help me out! Xx