Facebook Messenger help

[Isthisnothing]

Hi,

Some help please.

When Facebook messenger says 'you are now connected on messenger' what needs to have taken place beforehand for it to happen?

There are no further messages. Could they be deleted?

Also, she is blocked, is not and am fairly certain never was one of his Facebook friends.

I was a bit suspicious around recent phone activity and when I saw his Facebook was left logged in on the laptop I could not resist. We had problems early on in our relationship which I discovered on his phone. I haven't snooped in years.

Comes through when you've accepted a friend request or if someone you're not friends with messages you and you've replied to them it also says it.

Can you press on the unblock messages and see if any old ones return?
Facebook generally gives the 'you are now connected ...' message when you become friends with someone so I believe that at some point they would of been Facebook friends and then he's blocked her.

You can use messenger to contact non-friends.

She was blocked on Facebook. I unblocked her and the message dated three weeks ago changed to 'say hi to your new Facebook friend'. When I looked at her profile I saw she was a member of a group he uses quite a lot. There were no messages and I agree that if he deleted them he would have deleted them all.

I reckon he clicked on her photo (she is a stunner), accidentally friend requested her then when he realised he blocked her. He would not be in the habit of adding randomers.

I do trust him and he hasn't given me any reason not to except for an incident right at the beginning before we were serious / exclusive. I have a zero tolerance approach to bullshit and I was annoyed when I found out down the line because if i had known at the time I would have ended things.

He has been secretive recently, I don't know why. I have been undergoing treatment and we haven't been intimate in a long time. He has been very supportive. It is quite plausible he has been looking at porn and doesn't want me to see it.

I feel bad for invading his privacy. I'm gonna have a chat to him tonight and see how he is with everything.

OP - I'm not saying he has done something wrong but let's be honest, no-one accidentally friend requests people these days... and even if they do, you can cancel the request, you don't need to block them. He must have unblocked her in order to add her and then he blocked her again? I don't get it? Also, when you unblock someone on Facebook, you cannot block them again right away it won't let you

Why was she blocked in the first place? Does she have Instagram? There are plenty of better places to 'look someone up' if he wanted a nosey rather than Facebook.

Well I got a notification that somebody had accepted my friend request only today of a person that I definitely did not intend to add - she's in my running group and I don't know her. So it is possible. I also sometimes get friend requests from students that are certainly accidental.

He's not really Facebook savvy. I would say he saw the notification she accepted, panicked and blocked her. I never said he unblocked her. (I unblocked her to see if any messages showed up.) He has less than 100 friends and she has thousands so I don't think it's strange that she would accept from a stranger.

I also can't see why she would be chatting to him, she doesn't live here, has professional stunning photos up and is a good bit younger. I really don't think anything suspicious has gone on here beyond him being caught stalking.

This sounds to me like one of them FB accounts I've seen. It's a pic of a stunning girl.... lots of stunning pics, half naked most of them and they will literally add anyone!
He could have accidentally clicked 'accept' instead of 'decline' when the request came thru..... presuming that SHE added him.
As for not seeing any notifications for adding someone new, you can actually delete individual notifications so they don't even appear in the log.

I think you may be looking into it a little too much. He may have simply made a mistake. If it's the type of account I think it could be, they promote highly sexual posts, sometimes with links to sites to promote. He might have just panicked and blocked it coz he didn't want to see it himself, or see that you could see it.

Sorry, I took it that there was some issue with this girl in the first place... hence all the drama.

If she's someone neither of you know then there's nothing suspect here... you are right probably caught stalking or she added him, he accepted out of curiosity then once he'd had a little look just wanted to block her/get rid of her.

That doesn't explain the fact he went back to his activity log and specifically deleted the friend request acceptance. Personally it would make me wonder if this was the only time he has done this? He is savvier than you think, if he deleted the log, as most people don't even realise you can do that. If he has deleted it once... Then u sure he hasn't done it more times?

He knows about the activity log because we argued about it before but yes that did pop into my head.

Is there more to this than a random few potential messages. you seem very fixated on her being more attractive , younger , professional. I sense that this may be a diversion from the real problem. Does he have history for a wandering eye or worse? Does he deliberately run you down in comparison to others?

No he doesn't have a wandering eye, he doesn't run me down. I didn't say she was more attractive than me. I said she is very attractive. Based on her photo she is extremely attractive looking. It would not be unusual for someone to click on her photo, i probably would. I am not fixated on the fact she is younger, I simply said she was younger than him, I can't imagine she would be talking to him.

I don't think that these were any messages exchanged. If you read my last few updates you will see I believe they became Facebook friends and then he blocked her when he realised. I cannot say for absolute sure that he has been messaging her or any other woman but if I thought he was I would be furious and not really interested in continuing the relationship.

Also I have no idea if she's a professional. A professional what?

Maybe I misread "professional" photos as meaning she was perhaps career driven, affluent, aspirational. All the language you use about this woman suggests you feel inferior and somehow do not trust him not to chase her. What went on early in your relationship that underlies this and how long ago?

I don't have any feelings about this woman, she is just a few photos. She is stunning looking in the photos that is a fact. So are lots of women, I don't think he is trying to run off with them. I don't feel interior to her. I know he loves me. As I said he has been very supportive to me throughout my treatment. I regret invading his privacy. It's not a crime to look at someone's photo / Facebook page and that is all I believe he did.

How did your chat go OP?