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Original poster

Facebook Messenger help

66 replies

Isthisnothing · 19/05/2020 21:00

Hi,

Some help please.

When Facebook messenger says 'you are now connected on messenger' what needs to have taken place beforehand for it to happen?

There are no further messages. Could they be deleted?

Also, she is blocked, is not and am fairly certain never was one of his Facebook friends.

I was a bit suspicious around recent phone activity and when I saw his Facebook was left logged in on the laptop I could not resist. We had problems early on in our relationship which I discovered on his phone. I haven't snooped in years.

OP posts:
kickedwhenimdown · 20/05/2020 00:42

She might have two accounts, one he’s blocked, one he hasn’t

PatricksRum · 20/05/2020 00:54

The message would have appeared when they became Facebook friends or similar.
He's then blocked her.

Ilovecats14 · 20/05/2020 01:38

It means they are now facebook friends. He added her or she added him and it was accepted. They would have both got that message so you cannot tell who added who but he definately accepted it if he didn't add her

Ilovecats14 · 20/05/2020 01:42

There are archived messages on fb I can never see them on my mobile (the option just does not come up) but it does on my laptop, no idea why. You have to save messages to archive mines where I keep all of the abusive messages from my ex in case they are needed.

Azadewow · 20/05/2020 08:06

Gosh so much misinformation here...

1.U can be friends on fb but block on messenger, but u can't block on fb without blocking messenger too

2.no there is no way to recover deleted msgs, unless u ask the other person to send u screenshot of the conversation on their side.

3.if messages where deleted the you are connected would have also disappeared

4.the you are now connected msg appears when a friend request has been accepted

Based. On all this its possible him or her send friend request, the other accepted, and then he blocked her without sending msgs.

Is. Her or his profile set so only friends can see it? Maybe he/she wanted to check out profile and then blocked after curiosity was satisfied.

Would make sense if he did it to check out if she had sexy pics on her profile? Or he wanted to talk to her but after she accepted he realised u have mutual friends or something and u might find out?

Items on the activity log can be deleted.

Can I just sya though, that once trust is gone to the point u play detective the relationship is pretty much dead

Hotpinkangel19 · 20/05/2020 08:07

It means that one has sent the other a message, and the recipient has replied. They don't have to be fb friends.

ErickBroch · 20/05/2020 08:50

It can be from message requests - which are not from friends. Sometimes I have had them, accepted to see what they are, and it will say 'you are now connected on messenger'. With no message it;s either been deleted or it was just a friend requests - therefore no message

namechange469 · 20/05/2020 09:04

@Azadewow is completely correct!! If he had deleted messages that they sent, the entire thing would be gone including the 'you are now connected on messenger'. I do not think they have exchange any messages but some interaction has taken place whether that be a friend requested accepted OR they have added each other on messenger. Are you sure she doesn't have 2 profiles? It's impossible to be blocked on Facebook but on messenger.

Also, if they have deleted individual messages in the chat rather then the entire chat, the box where the message was would still be there and it would say 'message deleted'. So I don't think they have done it that way either. You can also remove items from your activity log - so I accepted a friend request the other day, I can go in my activity log and 'hide this'

Facebook is a sneaky place - if something doesn't feel right it probably isn't sorry

ErickBroch · 20/05/2020 09:07

Above is right. Also, a previous PP said he may have been stalking and accidentally sent a request so panic blocked. I think that's it.

WitsEnding · 20/05/2020 09:13

They don't have to be friends. It's anyone you've allowed to send you a message, for instance I have a PTA member from a school I have no link to, because I arranged to donate some things.

Could well be a 'sorry wrong person' scenario. I've had those too, and my name isn't particularly common.

copycopypaste · 20/05/2020 09:29

You can pm people without being fb friends. But not if you're blocked, or you've blocked them.

FrangipaniBlue · 20/05/2020 09:42

It sounds to me as though he has accepted a friend request and then blocked her, although as a PP said the message about being connected would have disappeared then?

How do you know she is blocked?

Is it possible he has added her, she's accepted but then for whatever reason she has blocked him?

namechange469 · 20/05/2020 10:09

I'm pretty sure if he had blocked her the message would disappear too...

I honestly think she has 2 accounts. Only one is blocked

copycopypaste · 20/05/2020 10:38

pretty sure if he had blocked her the message would disappear too

It doesn't unless you delete the messages, it just removes the picture and name and says 'Facebook user'

Goldenmother · 20/05/2020 10:45

@Isthisnothing it more then likely he has people messaging him that are not friend on Facebook they come up in another part of messenger as a request you then have to accept the message to read it go on to google and ask how do I find message request on Facebook messenger and you can check that

2007Millie · 20/05/2020 10:47

Seriously, just save your time and stop messing with a man you don't trust.

MyHeartBeatsInEights · 20/05/2020 11:57

Sorry, if it says you are now connected then that is a friend request being accepted.

I just checked and it says 'you can now call each other and see active status blah blah' if it's a message request. You can however delete individual messages and it doesn't say 'this message has been deleted'. Mine just removes the message, although the other person would have a 'this message is deleted' on their side.

So maybe there hasn't any messages been sent and he's just had a nosey then blocked her, because if he was going to delete individual messages he was as well as deleting the whole thread.

Original poster
Isthisnothing · 20/05/2020 12:11

I know she is blocked because when I clicked the three little dots it gave me the option to unblock messages. So I looked at his account settings and sure enough he has added her to his blocked list. I have looked at her page, she only has the option to follow, not friend. If he clicked it by accident you could just unfollow.

He doesn't use Facebook a huge amount, knows everyone on his friends list and the only other person he has blocked is a woman who was harassing us on a group and making threats. We took them to the police. I am only mentioning this to show it wouldn't be common for him to just block someone.

It feels off. I can't explain it. I got a bad feeling over the last few weeks; him anxious to take his phone out of my hands if I was looking at photos or whatever.

OP posts:
dramalessllama · 20/05/2020 12:18

If you block someone on fb, they can still send you messages on messenger. You have to block them on messenger as well.

Even if you're not "fb friends" with someone, they can still send you messages on messenger (if they're not blocked there) and if you open and read the message, that connects you on messenger and you'll get that notification.

It sounds like she may have been blocked on fb but not on messenger, which means they can still send messages to each other.

namechange469 · 20/05/2020 12:52

@dramalessllama no they can't. My ex is blocked on Facebook only and he cannot message me on messenger as it's linked to Facebook- I can't even find him on messenger. I have blocked people on Facebook before and as others says, the message remains and it just says 'Facebook user' but if you try and message them, it says user blocked.

If YOU remove messages, they disappear. If the other removes messages, it box is still there and it says 'message deleted'.

OP - I'm confused is she blocked on actual Facebook or just messenger?? Sounds like she's just blocked on messenger and they are friends on Facebook

namechange469 · 20/05/2020 12:54

Either way op - it all sounds a bit weird and you clearly don't trust this bloke. Just confront him and potentially just move on from him...

Azadewow · 20/05/2020 15:23

Op she is only blocked Don messenger not on fb. If she had been blocked on fb then when you followed the link to her profile fb would tell you page it would be blank/saying page doesn't exist

dramalessllama · 20/05/2020 16:00

@namechange469 - oh dear, you're right!

However, if you had previously been friends with them, included them in a group message at one time, and then later blocked them on fb and messenger, they can still respond to that group message even if you're the one that created it.

Someone I had blocked on fb and messenger found a group message that I had sent that had included them from 2010 and responded to it yesterday!

OP, I hope you find out the truth!

Fizzysours · 21/05/2020 06:03

She could have set up another account in her name, exactly the same. He could have added her. Did he make sure you knew he previously blocked her, did you request he did so? Because if so, they could well have set up another account for her,exact same name so they could keep chatting. Seems a lot of effort when there would be easier ways though

vanillandhoney · 21/05/2020 07:27

You can block someone on messenger and have them unblocked on Facebook.

But if you block them on Facebook they are automatically blocked on messenger too.

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