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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

In law Rant regarding Xmas

72 replies

jampot · 10/10/2004 17:35

I am sooo livid. I went out today shopping with the children and inlaws came to give dh a hand with some decorating. Whilst I was out they asked dh what we were doing for xmas. dh said he wasn't sure yet and they asked if we would like them to come for xmas (remember they live in Spain). Basically the answer is NO we do not want them but dh seems unable to say we're fine just being on our own for fear of upsetting them. They have been back since June and are going home next week and still hven't offered to babysit or invite us over/out for a meal. All this after posting on another thread about bloody Christmas on our own....... Dh now thinks I'm rude because he should have told them

OP posts:
Original poster
jampot · 10/10/2004 22:40

did no-one listen to my rant

OP posts:
EvesMama · 10/10/2004 22:43

they just cant say no can they?, then leave us to look like the ones being awkward!no advice but lots of empathy

Original poster
jampot · 10/10/2004 22:44

thanks evesmama for listening

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Skate · 10/10/2004 22:44

I did but got called for tea but I was sat here, jaw dropped at the no offers of help/babysitting over the time they were here!!!

Poo2 · 10/10/2004 22:48

In laws - can;t live with 'em, not allowed to shoot 'em. Have told my SIL in no uncertain terms that it's her turn this year as she hasn't spent the festive season with her burping, farting, snoring, whittering mother for years...

JoolsToo · 10/10/2004 22:48

yes - we're listening - and ....

This is one of the reasons Christmas bugs me - talk about being 'pc' it used to be a right royal thorn every bloody year as to who comes to who - who went where last year - now its just a foregone - my mum and dad and all my children and grandschildren come to us - except last year - dd did it which was lovely - but in the past its been a right headache - I don't think you're alone jampot - far from it!!!

EvesMama · 10/10/2004 22:50

thought i was unfortunate having no inlaws to speak of, but seems i was wrong...just one bloody useless mother to contend with now!!lol

Skate · 10/10/2004 22:50

Outlaws are a pain in the arse!

alexsmum · 10/10/2004 22:51

oh jampot, opposite problem to me then! I'd love it if my in-laws phoned and said they were coming for christmas.I feel like i'm going to be sitting at home eating worms 'cos nobody wants to spend christmas with us.

JoolsToo · 10/10/2004 22:51

we'll come - it'll be the perfect excuse

GeorginaA · 10/10/2004 22:53

In our household we do "turns". One year we go to my mum, the next dh's folks (either sister or parents). Problem is, the in-laws have a huge family Christmas with loads of kids running around and fun had by all, whereas there are no kids at my mums apart from mine and last year my mother moaned all the time at what a chore it all was - and this after pouring on the guilt trip about how we had to go there as it was her turn!

Mum is going abroad this Christmas, so we were going to experiment with making our own traditions and have our very own Christmas on our own at home for the very first time. However, dh's sister has invited us to theirs, and I do enjoy Christmas at her house... but I was so looking forward to starting our own traditions too. She won't be offended if we bow out, but then mum will expect her turn to be next year and.... oh it just gets all too complicated!!

Original poster
jampot · 10/10/2004 22:54

thank you all for listening i just can't bear them - sorry! plus I am pi**ed that dh won't stand up to them and they ask behind my back. They have also asked if they can stay at ours on Friday night as they fly out of Brum airport (5mins away) on Saturday. Dh is working 'til 10 and I'm out with kiddies - don;t want them in my house on their own

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Skate · 10/10/2004 22:57

Jampot - I know where you are coming from. DH can never bring himself to be honest with his mother or sister and it's pathetic.

SIL went to see an eviction at Big Brother this year and was harping on about us watching it. It was Friday night and we got a film so we didn't watch it. The next day dh is on the phone to her and I hear him say 'yeah, you were really easy to spot'!!! Why can't he just say he didn't see it!

We have similar to you when it comes to visits where he can't just say, 'no we can't make it' he has to pussy foot round which is bloody pointless!!

MEN!

alexsmum · 10/10/2004 22:59

the thing about own traditions is great, but I just think that the kids are still small and that they will need to go to bed at normalish time and then its just me and dh.I love dh but you can't play silly games like charades or twister when there's only 2 people, can you?? we'll end up sitting watching tv...like any normal night.

GeorginaA · 10/10/2004 23:01

There's a game called Nookie, alexsmum... can thoroughly recommend it ;)

GeorginaA · 10/10/2004 23:01

and that's DEFINITELY a game for two with the kids out of the way ;)

alexsmum · 10/10/2004 23:03

ok so thats the first 10 minutes of the evening dealt with, what about the rest of the time???

EvesMama · 10/10/2004 23:04

10 minutes!!!!lucky bugger.!!!lol

alexsmum · 10/10/2004 23:06

thats if we play twice evesmama!!!!

GeorginaA · 10/10/2004 23:08

ROFLMAO! No seriously, it's a proper game and should extend things quite nicely as there's lots of timed "activities" that help prolong

So a good 15 minutes...

EvesMama · 10/10/2004 23:08

phew!!! thought you were being a bit flash!!ha ha

GeorginaA · 10/10/2004 23:10

Here you go Nookii ... spelt it wrong sorry!

alexsmum · 10/10/2004 23:17

i'm sorry but there is no way I could 'play' that game without cringing with embarrassment at the cheesiness!!!!!! Plus on christmas day when you are all full of turkey and chocolate, and wine..well, i don't think i'm very sexy with the top button of my trousers undone!!1

GeorginaA · 10/10/2004 23:17

giggle

TV it is then

Original poster
jampot · 14/10/2004 18:00

Inlaws have been over today and given us their open but unfinished jars (tom ketchup, salad cream etc) before going home on Sat am. Inlaws can't seem to eat anything without it involving curry and think dh should be the same. Well today took the biscuit - they have given us a bottle of curry ketchup (!) with I swear about an inch of sauce in the bottom

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