Sex life

[Cuppaandcatchup]

I may well not be on the right thread?

I have been with my dp for almost 3 years, i have two dc, one from a previous relationship. Youngest is 10 months.

So really to get to the point, I feel like I have no desire to have sex. When we do I don't enjoy it. I really want to have sex and want to enjoy it but i can't.

Has anyone else felt like this? What can I do to fix this?

Did you ever enjoy it? With your current partner or previous ones? Is your partner a generous or selfish lover, is he interested in what you like and whether you also get off or is it mostly about him?

It’s also perfectly normal when you have a baby or small child to lose interest in sex until your hormones get back to normal and you feel less “touched out” all the time. Are you still breastfeeding? Are you using hormonal contraceptives? Both of the latter can be utter libido killers.

Also - how well did you really know each other before you became pregnant and, honestly, do you fancy him and would you be together if it weren’t for having a child together? You’ve not been together three years yet and have been either pregnant or looking after a baby for over half the relationship.

I do fancy him, and i dont think he's selfish that way. When we do have sex we either go straight to it with no foreplay or oral from him, or other times when we have sex he will happily let me use my hands and give him oral before.

That sounds pretty selfish to me, and it’s no wonder you don’t enjoy sex or want to have it if there’s so little in it for you. What would he do or say if you asked for oral and foreplay? (For what it’s worth, you shouldn’t view anything that isn’t PIV as “foreplay”, it’s all sex and you should both see it that way, sex isn’t just the penis bit.)

What was sex like early in your relationship?

It was good, we had a lot of sex.
This may have alot to do with that i do not feel very attractive since i had dc2, but that isnt helped either because he doesn't make me feel very attractive. The compliment i received once or twice from dp was that i was handsome i might be wrong but i always thought handsome was used to describe a male?

i do fancy him, and i dont think he's selfish that way. When we do have sex we either go straight to it with no foreplay or oral from him, or other times when we have sex he will happily let me use my hands and give him oral before

Umm, what’s not selfish about that? What’s in it for you??