So in a nutshell, and without drip feeding a massively long story, my DH and I have been together for 6.5 years, married for 3. All fine and I mean genuinely really fine until we moved to be closer to his family last year. Since then I have seen a completely different side to him - he’s become needy and quite horrible at times.
Examples are being moody if I’m on the phone to my family - so I can only speak to them when he’s at work - giving me the silent treatment for 2/3 days after I go out to do my hobby on a Tuesday night, asking me to cut off certain friends and picking at everything I do. He’s also developed this habit of ringing me whenever he is driving and expecting me to be on the phone to him until he gets to his destination. I can’t go on work nights out because he’d just sulk, I can’t even get out of bed before he’s awake in the morning because he’ll be grumpy I ‘left’ him. I feel like I can’t breathe and the only space I get is when I’m in the bathroom or at work. I have never given him a reason not to trust me and I know, I do know, that all of this is controlling behaviour. But every time I try and approach it he tells me it’s a reflection of how much he loves and needs me, how he’s scared I’ll leave him and how it’s because his mental health is wobbly and so he’s needy. And then I feel terrible for questioning it because perhaps it is just about how much he loves and needs me and wants me around. And so I’m going round in circles, all the meanwhile getting more and more claustrophobic. I’m so anxious all the time and I’ve been lying to him about having to stay late at work so I can go and see a friend for coffee. I know that’s a slippery slope and I don’t want to be lying but I can’t see my friends without him creating a massive issue. Perhaps it’s not controlling really and that part is in my head? I don’t know, I would be grateful of an outside perspective please.