new covid guidelines: is everyone in a non-live-in relationship still not seeing their partner?

[SenselessUbiquity]

Given that there has been no mention at all of social interaction beyond:
1 - meeting one other person outdoors at a distance of 2m
2- in the relatively far off future, being possibly able to socialise in "bubbles" with one other household thus facilitating childcare etc

basically if you are in a relationship with someone whose household or day to day life you do not share, there is no mention at all of when that will resume.

What does that realistically mean in terms of what people are actually doing?

• following the rules to the letter? for as long as it takes?
• saying "fuck it" and meeting indoors and being physically close anyway, in secret?
• somewhere in between?

Please tell me the truth. I won't tell a soul!

@DancingintheSpoonlight I’m pretty much just seeing my parents whenever and nobody cares neighbour-wise

Just do it - the police can’t fine you for seeing someone in your own home!

Tell him to wear a high vis jacket and carry a box of tools

Exactly !

I had a workman round yesterday - nobody cares!

How are you guys doing it with regards to going to and from? I worry what my neighbours think so feels like sneaking about as if teenagers

As I said, mine comes on his bike, so I just open up my back gate for him (fnar fnar) when he’s nearly here and then he just swerves in and hopefully nobody is any the wiser! We do go for walks etc when he’s here, but after 8 years, my neighbours are used to seeing him around and wouldn’t have a clue whether he actually lives here full time or not, unless they’re keeping tabs on when his car is usually outside!

Sorry just realised I name changed - was RUSU92!

My neighbours all meet outside every day for coffee at 2 metres distance. One of them has had her daughter and granddaughter over a few times. I'm the anti social one who isn't comfortable regularly chatting with everyone (It's a small culdesac) like 2 metres is some magic barrier! So I don't think I'd be judged by anyone, it's just me. I can't get over the anxiety, although I'm starting to get a bit obsessed by the idea of meeting DP outdoors and not starting physically apart while we're together....

*staying, not starting

Yes we are just parking outside/ on the drive as usual. I’m not sneaking about like a naughty teenager.

My next door neighbour is the type to knock on my door if my car hasnt been there when he expects it. I think he means well as normally I'm alone with DD but feel more nervous with bloody neighbourhood watch!

...have told him I'll be taking my car to be checked over this weekend...

I mean , how would your neighbours know if your dp is coming and going to work or is a long distance lorry driver or works away in the week?

I was really worried about my neighbours before dp came down and it’s absolutely not an issue and I can’t believe I went 6 weeks without seeing him

The police wouldn’t even respond if a neighbour did report because you could just say had decided to move in !

Is anyone having weird emotions about this today? at the end of a totally normal conversation, we started talking about whether we should think about seeing each other in June. and then we realised if the schools go back (he's a primary teacher) that will be even harder and we'll feel more irresponsible. so we thought maybe we should do it sooner. somehow that became next week - he said he'd speak to his friend about borrowing the car to come get me, and his housemates about me staying for a week or so.

but my reaction wasn't one of excitement. i just felt...i don't know...stressed? or something? and now i'm stressed because i don't feel excited. It's all i've wanted for over two months. why is my brain being like this? I'm freaking out that all this time apart has actually broken us a bit, or i've got so used to not seeing him, that i'm scared to see him again? Someone else said above about how odd it flet, and having to re-establish intimacy. maybe that's what I'm feeling? I just don't understand what my brain is doing, and today i just feel really sad.

@wishful just do it and you will feel normal again !

I wondered whether there would be people who have just said "it's not working for us, it isn't fair, we aren't going to do it".
Me. I've been staying at DPs halfthe week since lockdown started (as I have for years). We only live apart because of our children and schools, and the fact we both have 50/50 care with our children's parents. I think it's outrageous and unfair to stop me seeing him in those circumstances. So I still see him as normal and am quite open about that. No one has commented negatively

@LemonyCupcake - if we lived in the same city, i'd have caved by now. it's hard to see each other. and he's really worried about making me sick (cos he's still teaching). plus he feels perhaps a stronger overall sense of civic duty on this than I do - possibly because he lives in a shared house, whereas i live alone, so he's more conscious of widening the social circle. and the fact that he has such strong values is one of the many reasons i love him, so...

I wonder if it's because we've built reuniting into such a big thing, that it feels like it has to be not clandestine, and permitted, but also 'special'. I don't know. i feel so weird today. just want to cry.

I think we have all got out of practice at doing all sorts of normal things. I was watching the Sewing Bee on telly and flinched when they had a group hug at the end of the episode!

I think it's outrageous and unfair to stop me seeing him in those circumstances

You sound like a petulant child.

The virus doesn't care how "unfair" you think it is. Funnily enough, nor does the law.

@wishfuldreamer Yes, I totally relate to that! Everything is so messed up....

I know you are allowed to move house but what are the rules for partners moving in together now? Would this be considered ok or not?

I saw mine for a socially distant walk in the park. Not seen him for two months as he lives 100 miles away. It was wonderful. Social distancing was maintained until I asked him to hold my Ice cream, and it was handed back with teeth marks in it.

The virus is also not going to spontaneously pop into existence just because my partner and I are together. There is barely any additional risk from us seeing each other, certainly it's less risky than going to the shops or to work.
It makes no logical sense at all why people are being encouraged back to work, yet LAT couples still can't see each other because it's "too high risk"
The risk is in fact exactly the same as it would be if we were cohabiting, so I think it's ridiculous (and actually a breach of my human rights) to ban it.

New couples/people who are casually dating, fair enough. People like me who have been with their partner for yonks but have to live apart due to circumstances, not ok.

In normal times DP stays at mine 4-5 nights a week. I got sick the week before lockdown, messaged him to warn him but he didn't see it so walked in to find himself housebound for a fortnight anyway.
He's been here ever since and we're doing fine which was as I expected but still a relief IYSWIM.
He was probably going to move in eventually anyway but he's kept his flat for now.

@wishfuldreamer - you’ve summed up exactly how I felt this morning. We’d planned to meet up for a few hours for a walk and I was so anxious as I thought it would be awful and end up in tears, or blurting out 8 weeks worth of moans about how stressful wfh has been.

It wasn’t like that at all, it was lovely. It has made such a difference to how I feel mentally as I was starting to struggle. It’s cheered me up and I feel I can get through the week, knowing we can do the same next Saturday. Made me realise that FaceTime just isn’t the same!

Did we stay 2m apart at all times? I couldn’t possibly comment .....