Advice really need, he’s left after 22 years

[Nikkm82]

I’ve been with my partner for 22 years, we got together when I was 15, I’m now 37, we have three great children our youngest being 16. I cannot imagine my life without him, obviously we have had our ups and down, for the past year we have slept in separate rooms, still been intimate very regularly, And still a normal daily routine happening, he said he wanted to move out to find himself, he got the keys today, I’m devastated absolutely heartbroken, I don’t know what to do I don’t know what to feel, I can’t stop crying.

Cherchez la femme.

It's a shame you're not married, I hope your name is on the house whether rented or owned. Start disentangling your finances from his. Stop crying, get angry - he's having his fun and leaving you in the wreckage.

He's likely met someone else. Sounds awful OP. Don't hide the truth from your children or family. Get angry.

Sorry, I'm sure that's devastating. Is he significantly older than you? (Wondering if mid-life crisis find s younger woman thing going on?). Do you work? Will you survive financially?

Another one saying get angry. You need the anger to get you over the next bit. Fucking bastard. So he’s keeping you hanging basically? There’s always another woman in my experience.

Nobody moves out to find themselves. They only leave the comfort og home is another woman is involved.
As I found out eventually with my husband of 20 years.
they've broken up and he wants to come home but he can go to hell.

I'm so sorry OP. In all the years I have been on MN I have only once seen a thread where the man didn't leave for another woman. Very commonly, the wife would say up to 6m later, he has started dating already and it would all come out they'd usually met a year before.

I'm not trying to excuse him at all here but I imagine he became lonely and lost over time and sleeping in separate rooms clearly didn't work for him. I assume he never came and told you I feel lonely and I need you...and instead has turned to someone else.

He will now see if they can be a real couple before either returning totell you he made a mistake or wants a divorce.

He has completely fucked you over. So sad, so awful.

Who is there for you? Dark days lie ahead for a while but the sun will rise one day. I've been there.

I work but obviously on furlough just now, I will need to work more hours to financially manage, I’m unsure that there would be anyone else as we would still have sex about twice a week, he is 5 years older than me, he’s 42. It’s so so hard the kids worship him and hang onto every word he says, i Cannot not stop crying, I feel physically sick.

Men don’t tend to leave to be alone.

There’s usually someone else. You’ll find out he’s with someone new in a few months and he’ll swear blind he’s just met her.

Sorry you’re going through this.

I wouldn’t base the fact on you still having sex twice a week to mean he isn’t having an affair. My ex did after 27 yrs together and we were still habing sex frequently.
I would contact a solicitor (the first 30mins is normally free). I wasn’t married to my ex either. If your not on the house deeds he doesn’t have to give you any of it. He still needs to pay to support the children (under 18) but he won’t have to give you any support payments.

Can you check his phone? Look at recently deleted photos, internet history, WhatsApp, messenger etc.
Can you see his Mobile phone bills to see who he is texting/phoning, also bank statements.

Are you married?

So sorry to read this. I was having sex the night before my ex left me, of course he said there was no one else. Nope, he had been seeing someone for nearly a year and I found out 5 days after he left. It’s going to suck for a while and you will be a mess but you will get through I can promise you xx