What don't you like about your personality?

[CHARLonodn90]

I don't suffer fools. I've always been told that this is a negative but It's extremely difficult for me to entertain idiots and pretend to be interested. It depletes my energy. Working a 9-5 office job pretty much means that i'm always mentally exhausted and I honestly envy "airheads" and wish I was one. But my mind is constantly thinking of all the things wrong with society and the world.... Bleugh!

I care too much what others think, based on insecurity and anxiety.

My pursuit of perfection sees me frequently disappointed with most things and most people, most of the time.

I constantly underestimate the insecurities and fears of other people, and put them in situations that are unfair to them. I expect others to be courageous, confident, logical, honest, idealistic, self-examining... etc. And when they aren't, I kick myself because I've set them up to fail and its just horrible.

I have very high expectations of myself, and project those expectations onto others constantly, without realizing. As I get older I'm improving but it is a major blind spot for me. Its affected my parenting, was a factor in me marrying my now ex and in the collapse of the marriage, has contributed to failure and disappointment at work. Very disheartening but I continue to work on it.

I will talk to anyone. I'm never sure if this is good or bad 🤷‍♀️

The autism bit

I’m a people pleaser, or another way of saying it is I put too much value on the feelings of others and not enough on mine. I struggle to keep my boundaries in place.

I'm a horrible person when I'm drunk. I don't drink anymore.

I'm very loud, brash and quite argumentative and abrasive. I think it's a defense thing from past experiences that I probably should seek counselling to help with but it feels like such a part of me now I'm not sure if it's reversible. I've ruined many relationships and friendships through my silly mouth and lack of fuse.

I'm lazy, and I procrastinate. The positives of this are that I'm quite relaxed and don't get worked up about small things, but I think I underachieve and could do better than I do if I just got my arse in gear and did stuff rather than think about it.

I also don't suffer fools, which sometimes makes me a bit unkind as I'm not very tolerant, especially of strangers/new people.

I'm excellent at saying the right thing, but am often just saying it because it's the right thing to say, I don't really mean it and am actually quite judgy.

But, if you are 'lucky enough' for me to have accepted you as a friend, they my goodness, I will look after you, I will do anything for you, I'll leave a little present on your doorstep, I'll wipe away your tears, I'll laugh late into the night with you - but unfortunately I make it difficult for you to get 'in,' in the first place.

Eeek

I guess the bit I don't like is I'm very much a "don't get mad, get even" type of person, the problem is if I spot a chance to get even, I will. I'm not talking violence or anything like that (I hate that), but if someone has wronged me (is that even a word), no matter how far in the future if there is a chance to get even, I will.

The more I think about it, the more that actually isn't very good at all.

I have a need to be right and I don’t particularly have a need to be liked. Even though I’m programmed to be a people pleaser.

So I’m in conflict a lot.

I can also be a bit lazy

When I've decided I don't like someone it's very hard for me to not make it obvious.

I hold a grudge for a long time and then once I able to let go of it (if I am) I realise it was silly to hold a grudge and life is too short!

Some things I can't let go of and once I'm holding the grudge it lasts forever

I am too loud and I don't think before I speak. It's and ADHD thing but I also think I can be a bit of a knob sometimes

Oh god, nearly all of it. Would be quicker to list the good points.

I always say the wrong thing at the worst possible time. Insensitive foot in mouth queen. Then I hate myself.

I interrupt people when they talk. I know I do it but I cant seem to stop myself before the words come out. Its an unattractive trait.

I can be quite crude without taking the audience in to consideration, and therefore I can make people feel uncomfortable.

I'm forgetful and ditzy, so I ask the same questions again as I forget the answers, I also repeate myself and forget peoples names or that I have in fact met them before. This is really embarrassing.

I use my phone too often and sometimes stop listening to DP because I'm too engaged in the rubbish on my phone. I hate that about myself.

Impatience, probably.

I'm anxious to the point of avoidance and saying no to new experiences/situations. I care about people a lot but am terrible at keeping in touch. I procrastinate badly, which can turn into laziness. I'm a perfectionist, which at its worst makes me a bit of a control freak (although I try to go about it nicely). I worry about what people think of me a lot. I need a lot of praise/reassurance (anxiety!). I eat my feelings.

@rvby i could have written your post word for word. Working on it.

I try too hard
I’m a people pleaser and then I get resentful. I think I have unrealistic expectations of people sometimes that they will be the same way as I am

@TDMN solidarity it's shit isn't it.

It has to be about me. If someone is reciting a story I have to butt in and say 'that happened to me' and then tell the story, then they can carry on with theirs. I am aware of it and I try so hard not to do it. Also I have an obsessive desire for 'fairness'. I know life isn't fair, but it boils my piss when people get away with complete crap when, if I did the same thing, I would get hauled over the coals. This actually gets me physically stressed trying to cope with unfairness.

I can't "look on the bright side"
Or be "positive" when it doesn't warrant it. I'd rather be realistic. Which often leads to people thinking I'm negative.

I can be socially anxious and I'm really pretty lazy! I can get overly emotional about things too