What don't you like about your personality?

[CHARLonodn90]

I don't suffer fools. I've always been told that this is a negative but It's extremely difficult for me to entertain idiots and pretend to be interested. It depletes my energy. Working a 9-5 office job pretty much means that i'm always mentally exhausted and I honestly envy "airheads" and wish I was one. But my mind is constantly thinking of all the things wrong with society and the world.... Bleugh!

I'm not as kind as I'd like the be to others .I'm not good at small thoughtful gestures and I get impatient quickly.

I also don't suffer fools. I have a very low tolerance/attention span for fluffy conversations and nonsense chit chat, it actually bores and exhausts me and I find it almost impossible to hide that.

I was going to say I hold a grudge, but actually I don't in general, but I do with 2 people who were my life. One of those people I would cheerfully kill if I knew I could get away with it.

*with 2 people who were in my life.

depression - which I manage pretty well - I'm very happy a lot of the time, but it takes so much effort and prep to stay happy that I often run out of energy and willpower for anything else except muddling through the day.

@NCparanoia

Are you me?!

@panicstationsready
I'm the same with telling someone the same happened to me during a conversation, I dont do it to make it about me but to give me and the other person something in common but I've often wondered if its self centred.

Sometimes I'm really aware of it and stop myself doing it and other times I just cant seem to help myself.

It's definitely a negative for me but I need to address why I do it and then stop myself because it must be so annoying for other people.

I think lots of people are idiots. Irrational idiots. I mostly avoid pointing it out verbally now. But my face is so judgy it gives me away. I'm actually considering Botox so I can't frown all the time. My resting bitch face really is awful. So off putting!

I'm a people pleaser and look for validation from others. Getting better with age though. Wish I could believe in myself a bit more.

I'm too worried about what other people think of me and I'm a perfectionist as a result. I want everything to be perfect for other people so they will like me

I automatically don’t trust people until proved otherwise. My automatic assumption is that any woman I meet of average looks and within the 30-50ish age bracket is deceitful/manipulative and shouldn’t be trusted and would flirt/shag my husband if given the opportunity and any man in the same age bracket is probably an arrogant/selfish wanker who thinks he’s right all the time and has nothing of interest to say that I would care about. I start from that point and wait for them to prove me wrong. I don’t like this aspect of my character. I wish I could be more trusting but I find people (on the whole) to be extremely disappointing.

I can be a bit of a martyr
And I can suffer from envy

I have nearly all of these!
Oh dear!

I think i'm like rvby and i try to work on it. I'm also impatient and when i dont get what i want NOW i get anxiety about it. Half the time a better thing/solution comes along in a day or week or two anyway, but i have to act NOW.

automatically don’t trust people until proved otherwise.

I'm like this and with this one I'm comfortable with it.

I care too much about what people think. Being an anxious person, lacking in self confidence, I can be a pushover, defer to other people and find it impossible to make a decision. I also see criticism where it probably isn't there. I can be argumentative. I have worked hard on these in recent year, but still have a long way to go.

I avoid people, even the ones I like. The older I get the more introverted I get, and I think it's unkind and selfish. Lockdown is making me worse.

Jings I didn't realise how much I had wrong with me until I read these posts and realise I feel the same as most of them!

I'm another one with high standards and I unwittingly seem to have them for those around me as much as myself. I am constantly disappointed as a result and come across as negative, arrogant and a disruptor. People don't like me. I'm incredibly kind and loyal and would defend anyone I perceive to be my friend but rarely have that reciprocated and that leaves me pretty misanthropic and mistrustful. I've isolated myself more and more as a result. I've also not achieved the success that I should have at work as I have a reputation as being difficult to manage. I am. I'm also autistic and people don't make allowances for that which makes my sense of fairness itchy. I feel like I come out to bat for myself too much when I sometimes actually feel very vulnerable and would like some support. When I mention this I look like I'm moaning and feel slightly persecuted. I'm a complex, intense person and clearly I can be difficult to be around.

I'm a control freak who is scared of change

*blue30

I’m a people pleaser, or another way of saying it is I put too much value on the feelings of others and not enough on mine. I struggle to keep my boundaries in place.*

I could have written exactly this. And I always think everything is my fault, as such I am constantly apologising.

@tokyosushi you just described me, especially about saying the right things. I'm in therapy and I feel like that's what I do to my therapist. I have the right answers so she thinks I'm more put together than I really am. I can't call it lying; I just know what to say!

• I also don't suffer fools, which sometimes makes me a bit unkind as I'm not very tolerant, especially of strangers/new people.

I'm excellent at saying the right thing, but am often just saying it because it's the right thing to say, I don't really mean it and am actually quite judgy.

But, if you are 'lucky enough' for me to have accepted you as a friend, they my goodness, I will look after you, I will do anything for you, I'll leave a little present on your doorstep, I'll wipe away your tears, I'll laugh late into the night with you - but unfortunately I make it difficult for you to get 'in,' in the first place.*

This is me!

I care too much about my looks- not in a vain way but I like to be thought of as "beautiful". It's strange because I don't really care about my body and what people think about it, it's my face! I stare at my face every damn time just to see what people are seeing. If I had the money and it were medically possible, I'd change everything about my face.
I'm quite slim and have a good body so most people describe me as "sexy" and this hurts me because I prefer being called "beautiful". I LIVE for compliments. I try to- and succeed at- make it look like it's nothing but LOVE when people say I'm pretty.
Exhausting!

Oh! I'm only genuinely happy when I'm in a relationship. I don't know how to be happy by myself.

Ps- I'm already in therapy and know a lot about loving yourself bla bla. They just don't work for me and I think I'm just one of those people who can never be fully happy if not coupled up.

I'm weak, obviously I think I'm just overly forgiving but secretly I know I'm a mug.

Finding this thread overwhelming, in a slightly good way! I was just saying to my sister the other day that I really don't like myself very much at the moment- particularly exacerbated by lockdown- as I have so much time to dwell on the "bad movie" elements of my life so far. Used to be loud, over excitable, overtalking , interrupting, a bit crude not always certain of the audience. Over invested in the wrong people (usually boyfriends/partners), overly high expectations of myself and therefore others, followed by inevitably crashing disappointment. The flip side is I guess I was the funny girl, heart of gold, endearing if sometimes annoying. Much of that's gone now I'm 54 and a mum but I am feeling quite a sense of self loathing and it has nothing to be distracted with as am not working atm.