Sex

[Sianholby]

Ok, I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable here but since lockdown, my neighbours have become....more vocal.

I live in a semi detached house, couple next door are late twenties, keep themselves to themselves and moved in about 6 months ago. We see them occasionally but never socialise.

I think they may have been furloughed as their cars haven’t moved for a good few weeks.

They are certainly making the most of the lockdown as they are having very loud sex. This is during the day, about 5 or 6 times. Now I’m no prude, but both me and my husband are trying to work from home whilst trying to look after our toddler so the screams of “Oh Adam, do it to me Adam” and the loud groaning and banging is getting a bit much! I’m sure they are having a great time but I don’t need to hear them orgasm whilst I am on a Zoom call!!! This has been going on for a while in lockdown now, we live in a two bed so space is an issue for us to work from home. And I’ve tried moving rooms but they seem to enjoy their sex sessions all over the house, multiple times a day so there’s no escape 🤣

As we don’t know them very well, how would you approach talking to them?

Guess they aren’t wfh.
Their car hasn’t moved? probably because she can’t bring her knees together to drive!
🤣😳🤣

Start shouting go Adam, go Adam at the top of your voice. Then give them a round of applause.

I’ve never had sex more than twice in one day. Your thread has made me feel very inadequate op.

I’d certainly cheer when Adam finishes. If that doesn’t do it, bang on their door (no pun intended)

It's their house and they have a mortgage and are adults. Not living at home with mum.and dad leave them.to it. I think my neighbours once heard us as they banged on wall lol

@tiredanddangerous

Twice a day when DH and I were young and energetic. Now we have DD(6) and I’m 20+5 weeks pregnant. We’re lucky if it’s twice a month!

Offer to pay towards a Netflix subscription?

take up the banjo

My mind is totally in the gutter but I read this as 'take it up the banjo'

Thought some kind of new slang had taken off

@tiredanddangerous Same here!
I get tired just listing to them.

I like @Babdoc 's suggestion- kind of makes a joke of it so doesn't seem nasty but gets your point across.

At least you know where to go if you ever get an extra itch that needs scratching.

@Healthyandhappy - if they were renting would it have been not ok? Wtf has a mortgage for to do with it!

@needtoknow101 it is a rented property!

And they’ve just started the first session - come on guys, it’s not even 7am 😫

Oh for crying out loud. I’m all for a healthy sex life but 6 times a day? That seems slightly excessive.

I don’t know perhaps it’s me that’s odd but I couldn’t be bothered. Surely it would get a bit boring after the first two or three times. Although perhaps I’m just with the wrong man. Perhaps I need an Adam....

Can you not have a polite word (from a distance?) they might be mortified that you can hear them.

I’m sorry I’m sure it’s really irritating and not at all ideal when trying to work but this thread has made my morning 😂 you’ve got some fantastic suggestions, I’d go with a round of applause and a woo go Adam as the finish personally 😂

@Sianholby -I was just replying to @Healthyandhappy who said they pay the mortgage so what's the problem.. just wondering what mortgages have to do with it at all! Unless they're a landlord who has a 'no noisy sex' clause.

Anyway, we can often hear our above neighbours having very 'banging' sex. DP and I discuss the man's technique (fast and furious), and feel like he needs some pointers. Each to their own I suppose.

I thought they had quietened down as there was nothing after the 7am session. They’ve just started up again (sounds like in the living room) so we are going on our daily exercise - a walk!!!

Because it's their house ain't living at home leave them 2 it

Maybe they are on an adult camming site and making loads of money from their sessions

My hubby did say they might be making videos 😂

I guess no chatting means they are sleeping

Blimey. I’m a bit jealous and guessing they have no kids yet!

Oh just make them feel uncomfortable like u do, start cheering and say come on u can do it 👍 they will either stop or go for it do u know them?

From a practical perspective I'd start banging on the wall when the get really loud.

I do prefer the idea of cheering them on though, maybe they are exhibitionists who like you knowing how great Adam is?

Sounds like he must be awful in bed and she is pandering to it if she is screaming all that hyperbole that often.

I'm a grinch so I'd put a note in the door pointing out that the walls between the house are very thin sk we as a family are able to hear 'screaming' at various times of day and have a small child so cold they bear this in mind.

Hopefully they'll be embarrassed and stop.Contact their letting agent otherwise re: noise complaints.

I would do what @Wearywithteens suggested and play a really bad and highly annoying song, very loudly, each time. Something with an annoying beat, to put him off his stride. Feel free to add to the anti-sex playlist:

The Birdy Song
Agadoo
Macarena
Never Gonna Give You Up
Cotton Eye Joe
I Would Walk 500 Miles
I'm Too Sexy
Achey Breaky Heart
The Final Countdown
Various theme tunes (Friends, The Golden Girls, Dallas, The Dukes of Hazzard)

On the dark side, I hope it's consensual sex. That would be a wholly different thread