DH keeps recording me

[trytrytrying]

My DH keeps recording me when we row. He winds me up until I loose it and tell him to F-off and then he records secretly. I can tell he is recording as he changes his personality to sound nice, changes the story of what the row is to make him look good or silently smirks and goads me which obviously doesn't get 'seen' on an audible recording. I have caught him out for these reasons and seen him recording. I have heard one. It made me sad as he thought is showed me badly telling him repeatedly to fuck off but I heard the truth which was that he was goading me and refusing to help me when I was very sick (flu not covid), he mocked me until I was crying and pulled taunting faces until I then told him to fuck off over and over until he finally left me alone.
I am am stuck making the best until after lockdown. How can I protect myself from these select recordings and what should I be aware of? I am mostly avoiding him and avoiding arguing but I sometimes find it hard as he really knows how to get to me.

@LexMitior ah, yes. I guess I can sell my diamond engagement ring if I need to?!

Oh god yes. He can cut off my credit cards, joint account,
etc?! Okay. I need to battle up.

If he is CEO of a publicly traded company then his compensation will be a matter of record.

You need to act fast to get yourself a solicitor.

PLEASE listen to LexMonitor's advice here.

Do NOT discuss the divorce any more with him.

After you talk to a solicitor - call Women's Aid to get the number of a solicitor who has experience dealing with abusive spouses and what may be complex assets or finances and high income (= expensive solicitor) on the part of the other party. Talk to several solicitors and ask them straight up if they have the experience and the 'go for the jugular' approach that you need.

You can do something in lockdown, you can talk to Refuge. It's not about leaving today, its about getting advice on where you stand and how to move forwards.

Sorry , meant to finish that thought - After you talk to a solicitor, be prepared to file soon. Don't sit on your hands because your H will file as soon as he is ready and without a second thought.

Listen to Lex please OP, this is battle time, keep calm and composed and civil, but never let your guard down.

Agree with pp...don't have him bully you into accepting any settlement without legal advice.

Every case is different in terms of spousal support.

I’m going to give your battle tricks.

Take that credit card. When you’ve chosen your lawyer, pay a nice fat fee deposit with it.

And start the divorce. Apply for MPS.

This man has told what he aims to do. And he’s scared because he knows you will get much more than 50 per cent. Even on a day when the judge was drunk and deaf.

Seriously. You can run a business.Run your divorce like that. Every detail.

It might be worth finding an accountant to work alongside the solicitor you hire.

It’s a job. Your new business is getting a great deal for YOU

You will get nowhere near what was paid for for your engagement ring.

Focus on taking your H to the cleaners.

Get a big cash advance asap using the CC if you think he would cancel it. Whose account pays the CC bill?

Ideally the card is in his name. Any money that moves before a divorce is often difficult to get back.

Do you see? You must work all these advantages. A good lawyer knows them.

The moment the divorce is filed at court, then the court has authority to scrutinise why things move or spending.

Your husband will know this too if his lawyer is not a dullard. He will be exploiting it.

Here are some names for you;

Kingsley Napley
Withers
Verdags

All of these firms will have financial expertise. They aren’t the only choices but somewhere to start.

Oh gosh. Thank you. Thank you so much. I'm going to get some sleep but I'm on it. It's just so sad. All he needed to do was be nice to us.

But all the assets are mine... he just has his massive income so all the super expensive legal fees will come out of my assets? Or can they claim from his future earnings?

Yes possibly. This is why you need all the info.

But it depends how long you were married, when you got the assets etc. This is why you need a lawyer.