Wider Family Fallout from Affair

[Nattyjackie]

My brother had an affair with OW for over a year. Has now left SIL and kids and has moved in with OW. I feel he had treated SIL appalingly.

I believe he has behaved really badly and told him so. I've also told him I will never have anything to do with OW as she was very much culpable in enabling his behaviour.

Our relationship is hanging by a thread tbh and I've made it clear she is not welcome at our house. Ever.

He is starting to ignore my boundaries and is trying to insert her into our lives, he has tried to bring her over to 'pop round'. I've put a stop to it as we are on lockdown for one (I've got kids)! I think they are being really selfish right now travelling round as they please. But also because she is simply not welcome.

I am so angry right now and need to vent.

I don't blame you in the slightest.
I wouldn't want to face him for a very long time after the devastation he has caused and I certainly wouldn't welcome an immoral marriage wrecker in my home either.

They sound like they deserve eachother.
I hope your SIL and your nephews/nieces pull through this soon💐

It sounds like your brother has a lot of issues.

He’s acted like a complete twat, no question.

But why is he like this? Is he simply just a greedy cheating cunt or is this dysfunctional and could he get therapy to grow up / wise up?

At the end of the day he has kids right, so does he want to have a relationship with them? Be a role model for them or doesn’t he care?

@Nattyjackie You are marvellous. A lot of my ex-h's family have taken the same view as you with OW. I remember my ex saying to my ex-MIL, "I know you love MrsC, but you'll grow to love OW just the same". Nope. Most of his family haven't met her and I suspect they are surprised at the amount of hostility they've attracted. Leaving a marriage is one thing, but piling hurt and misery (and in my case utterly horrific abuse) upon the family left behind causes far too much damage. I don't think either of them have the "family" set up they thought they were going to have. Oh well, shit happens. Well done for supporting your SIL