Stories of a happy family when you thought it would never happen? 35 and feeling devastated

[AmyDancer1]

Another failed relationship. I’m 35 in July.

This has broken me this time. Any stories of having that happy ending later in life? I feel like I’ve lost the chance of everything I ever wanted.

Met partner online after 10 years of being single - I was 38.

Bought a house, had a baby and getting married next year x

I remember going to a conference at your age as a recent dumpee and being so bummed out walking round this strange town where I knew no-one and thinking that was it. Met my now husband the VERY NEXT DAY online dating , married at 39 and have two kids.

I met DH when I’d just decided to stop dating and had accepted I’d never become a mother . I was 38 and he was 37. Had DD at 40 and got married last year at 45.

@anonymousNAM3 that is a brilliant post, and I totally agree with you, therapy is the way forward. I had a similar but not quite experience...no daytime drinking, but a string of rubbish relationships that fizzled out, not through my choice, leading to that gnawing despair and emptiness. I started some therapy and it had the dual effect of changing my thinking, that in turn changed my behaviour.

Cue meeting DP at 36, buying a house together at 38, and having DD at 41...split up at 43...BUT despite the heartbreak some self worth remained and some more therapy sessions propelled me through 2 years of happy(ish) singleness (with small DD), 2 years of 'meh' online dating (with all the usual nonsense that can bring), then met lovely DP just when about to throw in the towel for good, (at 47!) and 6 years later can honestly say I've never been happier. But I know that if it all ended I'd be ok (I really hope it doesn't though!).

I think your 30s are such a tough time, it feels like last chance saloon...but it is so not. Get to a therapist and work with them on where you are at, how you got there, and what is important to you. Adventures await, whatever shape they take. Good luck,

Sorry meant to say met ex DP at 36...definitely ex! Current DP at 47.

I agree that now is your time to stop and take stock - whatever that looks like for you. Therapy can work.

I basically spent a year doing nothing social except going for lunch at the weekend by myself after a relationship ended at 36. I was a tad depressed, couldn't see any hope for the future, but after a while I came to love that time plodding along peacefully by myself.

Eventually dragged myself into online dating and decided to give it 6 months. I chose Match deliberately because you have to pay and I thought I'd take it more seriously than the free ones like Tinder etc.

Met my partner on there at age 38 and now very happy with a baby. My partner was 45 when we met so no spring chicken either.

Not me, but an aunt. Met her now husband at 39, had their first child when she was 43, second at 45. Yes, they are older parents and she says she would have preferred to have her children when younger, but they would change nothing at all.

These posts and kind words have been a lifeline to me the last day. I have no been coping at all and haven’t been able to see any positivity. Thank you

Honestly, I remember completely despairing a fortnight before I turned 35, with every Daily Mail headline seeming to be directed straight at me. But you have time. It’s ok.

The good news is when you meet someone later in life you don’t muck around, you get on with it, So you can get settled quite quickly.