Matched with neighbour on Tinder. What now?

[Heidi3333]

Hi there, just looking for some opinions please.

About 6 months ago a young single dad moved into a flat very close to mine. I've watched him from afar but we have never spoken apart from saying hello or waving when we see each other. I didn't know his name. I've always been quite intrigued by him.

2 months ago I (unbeknown to me at the time) matched with him on Tinder. He messaged saying 'hello neighbour'. I can't really be bothered with Tinder and didn't recognise him from his picture so just ignored the message and not long after I deleted the app.

Last week someone posted a post on our village Facebook page and he liked the comment. From there I found out his name and his profile picture seems familiar. When I looked back on Tinder I realised that it was my neighbour that had messaged me 2 months ago! I replied saying 'sorry on here very often, you just live across from me haha'.

He hasn't replied and I messaged him 4 days ago. However he has received and read the message.

What should I do now? I feel he may have taken the huff because I effectively ignored his first message! Or maybe he's no longer interested. Considering messaging him again or would I better just waiting to strike up a chat next time I see him?

Thanks

I’d strike up a chat when you see him. Two months is a long time in the world of OLD. He’ll have assumed you aren’t interested, or may have stopped going on Tinder in lockdown.
If there’s a spark it will be there in person.

Thanks nc4now

He definitely still on the app as there were 2 ticks next to my sent message meaning he'd read it.

Waiting until I bumped into him would be the most casual option I suppose but I'm self isolating with my parents away from my flat so it could be weeks before I get back to my flat and run into him again!

Leave it..he has seen the message, you know that. For whatever reason he didnt reply but I wouldn't message again or anything like that, you'll look a bit odd. Just wait and see x

Thanks mammato3lds you are right, another message from me will look like I'm desperate. Think I'll just leave it and see if he gets in touch again or strikes up a conversation 😊

You read his messages and ignored it so now he’s doing the same to you, he will probably reply but I think he’s playing a game and making a point! Or maybe no longer interested, chatting with someone else? There’s nothing to do now messaging him again will look insanely desperate.

He’s being childish. Leave it. Who has time for games at this age.

Are you interested in him? You haven't actually said.

If you are, chase that booty. Well, set it up for after lockdown anyway.

If you're not, what are you doing worrying about it?

Hanging around making up reasons why he hasn't responded to your very uninterested-sounding messages seems rather pointless.

I'd say give up. You missed your chance two months ago unfortunately. You could have at least replied then. Move on.

Could you search the village Facebook page to see if he's posted anything, then reply to it?

Obviously only if it's something recent.

Then if he replies and you start a bit of a convo you could dm him on Facebook

I am not familiar with Tinder personally but I thought that matching happens mutually? So you cannot be matched with anyone unless you actively swipe right. If so, how could it happen without you knowing (as you say in the OP)?

I stood my dh up, 3 times, not just once and on our first date.
We are together 30 years later.
Don't contact him, you'll look desperate.
Good luck.

Thanks ladies,

Well he messaged me again last night with a wee bit chat and then gave me his number for whatsapp. Was v pleasantly surprised. Think he was just playing it cool after I took 2 months to reply to his original message 😂. I'll sent him a WhatsApp in a couple of days x

Oh please don't play games. If he's messaged you on What's App please reply. This is why on line dating is so shit. You're either interested or you're not.

I AM interested. He sent me the message on Tinder last night with his number. I'll WhatsApp him tomorrow. Don't want to look TOO keen.

Yep, there you go he just wanted to prove a point. I personally wouldn’t get involved with a neighbour but good luck. And I agree don’t play even more games.

Message him today 😊

I stood my dh up, 3 times, not just once and on our first date.

You seem pleased as punch with yourself. Glad to hear you've been together 30 years but what made you finally show up for the 4th date?

TheVanguard

I remembered I was supposed to meet him.
He cheered as I walked in the room, we worked together and I was supposed to meet him in the bar, at the end of the night.
I kept forgetting.

If you like him why do you keep purposefully ignoring his signals that he's interested?

Just WhatsApp him. He might meet someone else in the meantime if you deliberately hold off.

What I find interesting is the op was complaining he hadn’t responded for 4 days then plans to do the same thing and ignore him for a few days? Maybe he didn’t want to seem too keen either?

Oh please don’t play games. Waiting a couple of days is ridiculous.

Leave it. You owe him nothing.
Lots of matches on Tinder never get to a chat with each other, surely you're not the only one of his matches who did this.

Ok, waiting a couple of days to message him seems a bit excessive.
I'll do it tomorrow.

Just message op I never played any games and been married 6 year together ten. If the relationship will evolve it will.