DP accidentally forwarded me porn

[lockeddownlockedout]

DP and I don't live together. We've been together six years. This morning, first message of the day from him, I received a video from him that he'd accidentally forwarded to me.

It had two very slim attractive (naked) women in it. I'm feeling very fat and awful at the moment.

The video had been sent to him and he had intended to forward it to a group chat with his friends.

I watch porn myself but I just feel really annoyed/upset/grossed out by it.

AIBU?

Anyway, op's not disseminating porn and attempting to bond with her mates over it - that's the difference.

Not sure why it has escaped so many people.

It’s really not that deep

I've seen entirely female teams of secretaries sending each other clips of (Chippendale type) "firemen" pulling down their trousers to reveal cocks nealy down to their knees (which is actually still quite tame compared to the penetration etc shown in the vid op's dp is sending to mates) .... If op was doing something like that, she might e a hypocrite but she's not.

My DP is sent random things all the time from male what’s app groups lots of them involve porn. It’s a guy thing I really wouldn’t worry.

It's only a misogynistic guy thing.

Yah. Fuck it. They’re just simple guys. It’s their sleazy, revolting thing. Let them crack on.

Honestly? This would become an ongoing joke with me and my DP. I have no issue with porn use, and though I may be fat, I'm comfortable in my relationship. I send my female friends pictures/gifs of guys/girls (in the case of bi/lesbian friends) I find hot, or tag them in posts on facebook, so why would it be any different for him? I'm not particularly fond of the 'lad' culture but it honestly doesn't bother me.

The sharing is what I would find creepy.

I know a lot of women in their 30s-50s who share porn with friends so I totally dispute that it’s a male thing.
I work with a woman who has a group chat with her female friends and they use it to send the worst porn they can find to each other as a sort of competition.

Really ?

We are all different and whilst some ladies here may have friends who do this , not all of us do and not everyone is cool about it- it doesn’t make them wrong- just different

@Veganella - but you didn’t join? Why not?

I know a lot of women in their 30s-50s who share porn with friends

Rrrrrright.

I know a lot of women in their 30s-50s who share porn with friends so I totally dispute that it’s a male thing. I work with a woman who has a group chat with her female friends and they use it to send the worst porn they can find to each other as a sort of competition.

Just as grim as men doing it.

What constitutes 'worst' sort of porn?

Most disgusting activities?

Or most degrading stuff?

Both I guess.

It's not exclusively a male thing, it's a cunt thing.

But more males absolutely do it than females because toxic masculinity and 'boys will be boys' and 'lads lads lads' culture tells them it's ok, they can't help it.

The fact not just men do it doesn't mean it's any less rank to share with friends the 'worst' kind of porn you could find.

As you watch it yourself I am afraid you cannot claim any moral high ground here. The idea it's OK to wank to but not to share seems a bit odd to me, personally.

If you want to speak to him about it, go for it, break up with him over it, if you feel that is appropriate. It does seem your own self image may be an issue for you and you may want to think that one through, and see if there are other things that would make you happier than being in a relationship with him.

What constitutes 'worst' sort of porn?

Most disgusting activities?

Yeah they send the most shocking things they can find.

@LexMitior I didn’t join because the other women in the group chat aren’t friends of mine. I also wouldn’t want to do it because I don’t want to see the sort of things they share with each other. She used to take a lot of joy in trying to tell me what things had been shown but it’s too extreme for me

Well, I sent my mates a photo of one of the gorgeous Spanish police supervising lockdown which I guess is objectifying him. So is having a calendar with Chris Hemsworth on, or watching Poldark to drool over what's-his-name.

None of that means I don't fancy a partner, and I doubt that your partner sharing this means he doesn't fancy you. Of course it's objectifying the women because he doesn't know them, it's just two randoms shagging spacehoppers. Would you prefer it if he did see them as fully rounded women who he fancies for who they are? Because that's way more of a threat to your relationship.

Also, the spacehopper part is so niche that I bet he was flabbergasted. I can't promise I wouldn't have sent it to my friends in a WTF way.

He loves YOU. IME blokes looking at this shite means absolutely sod all about how they feel about their partners, any more than you lusting after whoever on telly does. Even if the women are your polar opposite. Truly! If he didn't want you, he wouldn't be with you.

Honestly I’d not go there. Sharing with mates and porn... just no.

He didn’t send a picture of Duffy. Or Spanish female police.

He sent one of porn. I do see the difference.

Well, I sent my mates a photo of one of the gorgeous Spanish police supervising lockdown which I guess is objectifying him.

Thank you @gilbertmarkham you have explained it much more eloquently than I did.

Well, I sent my mates a photo of one of the gorgeous Spanish police supervising lockdown which I guess is objectifying him. So is having a calendar with Chris Hemsworth on, or watching Poldark to drool over what's-his-name.

Were any of them buck naked, bouncing on dildos attached to space hoppers - no?

Not quite the same thing then.

The point is that to an extent we ALL objectify people. If you have ever seen anyone you fancy and though "phwoar" then you have objectified someone because you don't know them.

Sure, this is laddish shite, but I know damn fine if me or my mates saw a bloke doing something hilarious with his cock, it would get passed round us. Infantile, sure! Objectifying, yep I suppose.

I am really struggling to see the harm here unless you disapprove of porn on principle.

you have explained it much more eloquently than I did.

I'm a terrible waffler and made a dozen typos but thank you.

Were any of them buck naked, bouncing on dildos attached to space hoppers - no?

That would have been passed round at the speed of light by loads of women I know, so there would be no difference.

but I know damn fine if me or my mates saw a bloke doing something hilarious with his cock

Where would you see a bloke doing something hilarious with his cick without going looking for it?

Besides is penetrating yourself with a dildo attached tons space hopper - doing something hilarious with your Danny?

Or is it staged porn for make titillation - I have a feeling they weren't doing it for fun or for free. They were doing it because they were told to in order to get paid.

So many comparisons that don't work.