The Ick :(

[workofheart]

How do you cope if you get The Ick very badly during lockdown (TBH I had it before and we've had some ups and downs but this period has only magnified it and brought it fully to my attention every second of the day)? I am so irritated by every little thing he does - being in the same room as me, trying to touch me, wanting to go on every single bloody walk with me (I just need some space aaaaagh), wanting to go to the shop with me, hinting we aren't having enough (ok, any) sex: "shall we make some time for some sex at the weekend", ugh, I can't cope anymore.

And how do you end it with someone who thinks things are all fine, is making plans for the future about all the days out we can have, holidays, house renovations, children...and has no idea what is going on in my head (and why should he either, it's not his fault)? All can do is daydream about running away. I am having to pretend my irritation is down to work stress, when work is actually a welcome escape right now.

I think I am also worried that as I have just turned 40, have no children, but would like children, I am running out of time so maybe I should just settle and try to overcome this issue somehow? We've only been together about 14 months, but the thought of a lifetime with him made me shudder :( he will be so gutted when I tell him and he won't see it coming. I don't know what to do :(

Letting agencies are still letting properties. Contact some and look at the virtual viewings online.

You can hire a van if you need one to move your stuff.

You can buy furniture online and have it delivered. Ikea do click and collect too at some stores. They sell boxes of basic kitchen equipment .

As long as you have money you can move.

As he owns the house, are you paying rent to him ?

@Scott72 it didn't start with her not communicating. It started with him not respecting her communication.

I can't even go upstairs to read my book or phone my mum without him rolling his eyes that I'm not staying downstairs sitting on the sofa with him. Even if I sit in the armchair across from him he says "how come you're sitting over there?". I feel like I can't breathe.

When I saw the thread title I assumed you’d be about 19.

“The Ick”??

🙄

Bunny- people use that term here, it's not unusual.

It's OK to be a bit playful.

Also, otherwise we'd have to use a whole sentence or something, like 'Everything about my OH turns me off.'

@MrsTerryPratchett

it didn't start with her not communicating. It started with him not respecting her communication.

Well, it did because she says she knew she wasn't that into him from the first date. So, somehow she's gone from that position to living with him and letting him think there's a future in this relationship - how is that her communicating?

NoMoreDickheads reminds me of the Love Island contestants talking about someone they met the day before and then decided they don’t like 😂

It is ok to be playful but personally I find it a bit disrespectful to speak that way about someone you live with.

But hope it works out for you OP

Honesty is the best policy.

Well, it did because she says she knew she wasn't that into him from the first date. So, somehow she's gone from that position to living with him and letting him think there's a future in this relationship - how is that her communicating?

Yes, well she has been fooling herself. The point about her communicating about space still stands.

Why aren't you telling him it's over? Because you don't want to hurt him? You are hurting him 100 times more by not telling him.

Look for somewhere else to live and move out. It is still possible even in these times. You are being cruel.

Once you go ick you cannot stick.

Seriously it's over. It never comes back after the ick (known as The Scunner in Scotland if that makes you happier Bunnythehoneybee )

You are stuck in this situation at the moment so why not use the time to invest in the relationship and see. Maybe some intimate time together might rekindle your feelings. Try and see things from his perspective - he may be trying to get closer to you at this unsettling time. You've got nothing to lose and it might crystallise your decision in time for the end of lockdown.

You've only been going out with him for 14 months!!! It isn't yet a long term relationship.
Just tell him your not feeling it and leave. Why would you even think of staying any longer if you feel like this.
He sounds really clingy too yuck!

Maybe some intimate time together might rekindle your feelings

@LiteraryType Eww no. I suppose it's worth a go, but when a friend of mine said maybe I could see a sex therapist with my then partner, I was totally, like, no. Just didn't want his bad attempts at propositioning at all.