Is it fair to ask him to pay this?

[ERL1]

So, after a long time coming, I'm going to ask my DP for a separation.

Not married, no kids, joint mortgage. I want to ask him to move back with his parents. We live about a 20 minute walk from my work, his parents live in the same town he works in, some 30 miles away.

At the moment, we have separate accounts that our wages are paid into, and we transfer money over to a joint account for household bills. He pays for Council Tax (£200), and food (£200 per month) so he transfers £400 to the joint acct each month. I pay for everything else- mortgage, gas, electric, life insurance, pet insurance, broadband etc etc. I transfer around £1,400 per month to cover this. Yes, up till now he's had it easy.

Since it will be me instigating the split, and asking him to move out of his own house, would it be fair to ask him to pay half of the joint bills? By this I mean mortgage, council tax, life insurance, pet insurance. I would not ask him to pay gas, electric, broadband, or food.

He would need to transfer roughly £500 a month. Bearing in mind he won't have transport costs anymore either since he won't have a commute at his mum's.

This would only be up till this pandemic is over, then we can sell the house. I can't afford to buy him out unfortunately.

Is this fair considering I'm asking him to move out of his home?

The deposit was given to us by my parents...but he guilted me out of it

Wow you really have been silly haven't you. I think** You May have to chalk this one up to one of life's lessons.

@Hannah021

"you are struggling to answer! All the situations u mentioned arent dependant on having one's name on a mortgage. You can plan to live with someone forever, but if u arent paying towards the mortgage, ur name doesnt need to be there. Earning more money has nothing to do with it... Keep the mortgage under your name and keep paying. If you cant get a mortgage in the first place cuz ur salary is low unless both salaries r joint, then both need to contribute. Its not rocket science."

I'm not in a debate with you or trying to "answer" anything. Of course you should contribute to the finances of the household you live in, mortgaged or otherwise. (He has, for some reason OP accepted £400 a month as his contribution, in many households there is one partner that contributes even less).

Is it really beyond your thinking that OP may have got a mortgage with this man because she wanted to get on the housing ladder and as a couple with pooled resources they were able to do so? OP was then guilted out of protecting her deposit, just like many more the world over.

Have you had many mortgages?

Bloody hell you really let him take the piss out of you. I love my husband but I’m stubborn af when it comes to what’s mine you bet if I had to have my parents pay my deposit and he barely contributed to the bills I’d be moving out alone and he’d only be moving in when he paid me his share of the deposit. Never let love take the piss out of you.

You may be able to get your deposit paid back out of the proceeds of the sale if there is a clear paper trail showing your parents paid it.

He is entitled to half on paper, but because you have actually paid more you might get more, but I doubt it if the mortgage was paid out of a joint account you both paid into. No one can say what of the £400 he paid in was actually paying for the mortgage so he can argue he also paid it. If it came from your single bank ac you might have a chance.

You can't demand he give you his key or change the locks. It's illegal.

If he agrees to move out he needs paying nothing. What payments youve made to the mortgage after he stops and moves out you will get back (a small amount but he doesn't get any) as a small increase in your share.

Why not get a 3 month mortgage holiday to help you when he goes?

Sounds like you are well rid.

Who pays bills is irrelevant.

Going forward he should be paying his half of the mortgage.
If he refuses - you keep note and take that amount off what he's 'owed' for his share of the house.

If you got a lodger/tenant - he'd be legally entitled to half the rent...

might be worth waiting to see what happens with the housing market before making him any offers though....if it dives and the house is worth less then you might need to reassess buying him out v selling.

Christ almighty he saw you coming from 500 miles OP..

Glad you have sought legal advise Sweetheart... well done