Wow, all her fault then. She's a liar who is sending nasty responses. No accountability for the man involved, shocker.
Also you said this originally
He says lovely things about my looks but he frequently goes on about my stomach because it not flat.
And when people have said this is absolutely horrible and cruel to you, you've now said this:
Btw...my husband has been an athletic person all his life and does have a six pack. I'm a bit more cuddly and although I go walking I'm not as sporty. He's never quite understood that I have struggled just to keep slightly overweight all these years! He's very very strict with his diet in a way few of us can tolerate. So, that's probably why he has overlooked that woman's bad points...she's the same shape as him!
Seemingly totally excusing him 'frequently' making comments about your stomach not being flat. Do you really think that's ok?
Your last post is totally enabling his unreasonable, selfish and nasty behaviour.
I asked this in my first post and would be really interested to hear your answer as it very much seems like one rule for him:
Am I also right in thinking even though he's started an emotional relationship with the woman you had a threesome with and slept with her alone, he wouldn't want you to have an emotional relationship with a man and sleep with him alone? I assume so and if that's the case, have a think about what that means re him respecting your sexuality and your clear preference for monogamy.
It's really sad to see a woman blaming another woman who had a sexual experience with both of you for the issues it's caused in your marriage, calling her a liar and very obviously now backtracking and giving your husband a free pass.
Your husband didn't need to be texting her in private without you knowing, to the extent you told him it made you uncomfortable and upset. Then you told him and instead of taking your feelings on board he just told you he didn't think you should have a problem. He's now sent her a message to stop but only after you've been really upset and had to ask more than once. And now the two of you are slagging her off for updating her Facebook with lovey dovey pictures which is frankly none of your business. It's like a minor version of hysterical bonding.
Good luck, your husband doesn't sound capable of putting you first I'm afraid.