Had an affair

[User30471424]

I’ve had an affair. It’s ended. It wasn’t my choice to end it. I expect no sympathy, what I’ve done is horrendous but I am totally heartbroken. Never had such a connection with anyone in every way. We work together, whilst I can avoid him on the whole, NC is not an option.

I’ve been awful to live with for the 18 months it’s gone on for. I’ve found it hard to take joy in stuff at home. DH clearly realises something is amiss, has asked me a couple of times if I’ve had an affair, which I’ve denied.

I feel I owe it to DH to tell him. It’s massively affecting my mental health to the point where I am about to take Sertraline. I don’t want to tell him to satisfy my own guilt but I do feel I owe him an explanation. We have a relatively young family.

I don’t know what I’m asking. Do I say something? Or do I just suck it up and deal with my emotions? Lockdown makes it harder as does the other man, who doesn’t want me to as he’s afraid DH could then tell his wife, I can’t see how as no connections.

You need to tell your husband the truth. I can't imagine sitting on a secret like this while trying to make your marriage work will be healthy for you. I also agree with others who have suggested therapy. You could also look into marriage counselling.

Tell your DH everything and leave it to him to figure out if he wants to try again.

You betrayed him, you at least owe him the truth.

What you’re going through OP is an ordinary teenage brain break-up. Perhaps it’s been a while, and yes it’s painful. But you know what to do-we all do. You feel bad and then feel better.
What you’ve put your DH through is far far worse - because it’s not a girlfriend breakup- it’s his wife, his family and his life!
You can either confess and see if you can start a new and better relationship together or keep it to yourself and know that you will never deserve what you have because it is fraud.

yes of course you tell your husband. let the man make decisions based on the truth.

and of course he needs an sti check. affairs are the gift that keep on giving.

to cheat on your partner is disgraceful but to do it with a married man is far worse