I need help with finding the words to express how I feel. This was prompted by my cousin asking our address to send a wedding invite.
We’ve always had a bit of an issue with my bf coming so social events with me. He doesn’t like meeting new people and he kind of believes that if he doesn’t feel like it, he doesn’t have to attend. He has no extended family and his friends never host anything so therefore there are none on his side. Whereas in my side of the famil/social circle we have an expectation for couples to show up to certain social gatherings together (assuming they are available).
Thus far he has refused/cancelled on small things that I didn’t expect him to show up. For big events he has had a proper excuse not to attend (though, I do think he could have made a bt more effort). But as I was planning my own birthdayparty earlier this year I actually got worried that he wouldn’t be there or would cancel last minute. That is when I realized that these small things has really affected me and now whenever anyone is planning anything that we should attend together I get a bit nervous.
I know I need to talk to him when the next invite comes, but I don’t really know how to verbalize why this is something that is important to me. I’d like these rare “mandatory” social events to be “obviously we will be there” type things and then go to others on my own if he is not into it. Why I need him to come, dress appropriately and make an effort while there? I am capable of going to a things alone, but I feel like it is one of those things you just do as a couple but I cannot explain why.
Yeah, CV19 might mean there is no wedding to attend, but it’s good to be prepared.