So I joined Tinder.. is this normal?

[cocacolaforlola]

Finally took the plunge on Tuesday.
Matched with five men straight way and got chatting to one man in particular.. seemed very easygoing and relaxed for about an hour, until he suddenly got into sexual talk out with f the blue.
I've no problem with others doing that and I am no prude but it's not for me so I shut it down and left conversation.
Is this the norm ?
I had been married for twenty years and am single a year so I'm out of the loop completely ! Thanks for reading.

Pretty much 'normal'. 🤣

Yep pretty much normal nowadays. Surprised he took an hour. It's a tough place to be sometimes. You need a thick skin. I was shocked at first now very little would surprise me

Normal especially for Tinder where you’re basically just judged on looks

Ok thanks !! I'm too innocent for this I think😂 I'll have to develop a thick skin! I'm
Pretty sure that the traditional way of meeting people at my age. 42, is a battleground is it?

Totally normal for internet dating - and especially apps, I'm afraid. You get savvy pretty quickly.

Yes pretty normal, that or they're incredibly boring!

I've finally met someone I've clicked with and we had our date arranged, the Friday evening was when Boris Johnson accounted the closure of all restaurants etc and we were meant to go out on the Saturday so it was unfortunate timing in that respect.

We've been messaging a lot and seem to get on well, we have our first phone date this Saturday night

Hope you meet someone good OP, I've been on and off for about 4 years and never put much effort in. I just seem to have dropped on this time

Tinder is primarily designed as a hookup app isn't it? I'd try an online dating website if that's not your thing...

@SausageSimon oooo let us know how it goes!! Hope all goes well!

I'm exactly same as you op. Left a 20 year marriage and just signed up. I've been quite shocked how quickly some men talk about sex.

I’m sorry but I have to weigh in here and say no it’s not always the case. I’m a dating app regular and this has never happened to me. Maybe I’m completely unsexy, I have no idea, but it’s not my experience of Tinder. I have never had a gross message and everyone I have met up with has been a normal person.
I appreciate that my experience is clearly in the minority but just wanted to show that it’s not always the same.
I have certain rules though such as never swiping right on anyone who has a picture of themselves in bed, and never swiping right on anyone who hasn’t bothered to write a profile. Maybe it helps weed out the non-genuine ones.

I feel like a right fool now 😂

@rbe78 not always the case... I met a guy from tinder.... 5 years later were married and have a 9month old baby 😁

I've found the younger they are the more quickly they bring up the subject. Massive generalisation.

I've reset my age preferences and it's not so bad now.

@cocacolaforlola have you looked at the dating thread on here it has some useful rules and guidance. Unfortunately I had a very horrible experience where someone turned nasty and accused me of being mentally ill he seemed normal at first then turned. My advice is to take it all with a pinch of salt and just be careful. He was off tinder but I know people have had some success bumble is also quite good as ladies message first .

Thanks. So bumble May be less sleazy ? I love a flirt but getting straight in there asking me what height heels I wear on a night out etc etc doesn't do it for me, after an hour ...😂

I met my now DH online dating about 8 years ago...he was the only one who didn't send a dick pic/explicit message, which is why I responded to him! I think you're right to shut it down, unless you are after ONS or FWB of course (which is fine).

Bumble is just Tinder for men who can’t be arsed to make the first move

Totally normal. Most men on there are incredibly boring I'm afraid.

I loathed Bumble, full of men who just collect matches and never respond to messages and/or complete perverts. I actually found Tinder refreshingly normal by comparison 😂

Love tinder.
As soon as anyone talks about sex I unmatch and block unless funny enough to screen shot and send to mates.

Definitely keep on with Tinder and maybe try Bumble alongside, there are normal people on there you just have to be choosy and enjoy being choosy!

@Hoolawoolatoola I will do Hoola! We are both terrified as we hate speaking on the phone but it's probably going to be months until we can meet in person!

asking me what height heels I wear on a night out

That's hardly sexual talk! You've got it allll to come.....so to speak.

You've had it mild op i was on 3 different sites including tinder and plenty of fish and my god some of the stuff i was sent . You 100% need a very thick skin on online dating and dont take it too seriously or you will become extremely offended. But also theres some nice blokes on there too they are just harder to find

Tinder is full of men trying to get multiple matches - it's a numbers game.

Bumble is full of lazy men and the chats go nowhere

POF is where all the crazy ones go because they can message without matching first ... and holy moly I attract the crazies

Yeah OLD is shit

Assuming you are okay looking expect to match with pretty much anyone you swipe right on. So try to pick the good eggs based on what's written on their profiles. Many will get sexual quickly, if that's not what you're after make it clear on your profile, it might help it might not. Otherwise just unmatch and hope the next one is better.

To be fair at the current time you are setting yourself up for lots of these messages of frustrated horny lonely men during this lockdown and crisis. Even if you chat to a nice guy for a few weeks, the prospect that you won't meet for ages and see if there's a connection or even get anything physical from a kiss to sex, I expect they may end up asking for pics or a cheeky phone call or something haha