Over a phone charger

[Setyoufreee]

DH takes cables, plugs and chargers from around the house for different things and it drives me insane.
I will go to charge my phone to find the cable and/or charger has been moved and used for another purpose and 9 times out of 10 DH doesn't know what purpose he used it for, so I have to try a dozen plugs and usb cables to charge my phone again.
I have asked him not to do this.
He is particularly drawn to my phone charger for my work phone which I need right now on a daily basis.
Having asked him not to mess with it anymore twice recently, I went to charge it this morning to find it had disappeared. I furiously asked where it was. He had used it to connect his firestick to the TV, so I requested he unplug it.
"No."He said.
He then appeared with a different charger, telling me I could "borrow" it.
I told him no,I wanted my original phone charger for my work phone. I am fed up of him taking all our chargers for himself to use as he wishes.
Having never been challenged over this and made to hand it back, he became enraged. Screaming at me for being ridiculous.
Saying "I can't use my fucking firestick in that TV now; the world doesn't stop because you have to work you selfish dick head!"
"It's not even your fucking charger, it's the wrong make!" His eyes were so angry, it really shook me up.
I explained that no it wasn't because HE has used my original charger for something else!
I stood my ground and said "give me my charger."
He snatched it from the TV and threw it on the bed in an absolute rage.
I am crying and physically shaking. He was screaming in my face. All with the windows open so the whole street could probably hear him.
Have I been petty to stand my ground over a bloody phone charger?
I feel physically sick after the exchange. The children could hear it all too.

Locate the original charger for your work phone, label it, and remind him it is work property and off limits. Keep it in your handbag/briefcase/laptop case when not in use.

Not meaning to be tedious - I've been telecommuting for years and managing telecommuters and have seen more than one device damaged by using a non-qualified replacement when the original charger was unavailable. Using the wrong charger can cause issues, and using the charger for other purposes can cause issues and reduce the efficiency/life of the phone and/or the charger. You don't want to be dealing with the need for a loaner, replacement, repair, etc. at a time like this.

Saying "I can't use my fucking firestick in that TV now; the world doesn't stop because you have to work you selfish dick head!" Obviously. The world only stops when someone "needs" to watch TV.

Cabin fever

No you were right to stand your ground! You have asked him numerous times not to use it and hes just ignored you. Keep it hidden from him so he doesnt know where it is then when you need it and need to work to keep the income coming in you no where it is 😊

This is what has rattled me the most. I have asked him several times not to use it and not only has he still moved it,HE is beyond offended that I've had the audacity to pull him up on it.
This is him all over.
HE thinks something is reasonable, so regardless of what I think or feel, I am wrong and he can do whatever he bloody likes.
He's slamming around the kitchen still as if I've done something wrong, which is making me want to punch him.
Can't believe I'm stuck inside with this idiot.
Or worse.
Our kids are stuck inside with him and his ridiculous behaviour.

That’s awful and he should be apologising. You shouldn’t have to hide things to stop people taking them.

I’ve brought braided cable chargers in different colours for each of us to avoid such nonsense - but the other two are children. Bonus that the braided cable ones have lasted for 3 years so far unlike the thin supplied ones.

Keep an eye on that behaviour, it’s worrying.

He called you selfish for needing your own charger in order to do your job? Does he not see how ridiculous that argument is when he wanted it just to watch tv?!
Tv =/= work. Obviously he's the dickhead.

I can't believe the minimising. Screaming in your face and throwing things is not acceptable.

He doesn't respect you or care about you. What does he add to your life?

Why didn’t you just use the other charger he offered ?

I’m the charger thief here. If yours was closer I would of used it. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Why didn’t you just use the other charger he offered

Why didn’t he just use his own charger rather than stealing hers then screaming abuse in her face?

"I can't use my fucking firestick in that TV now; the world doesn't stop because you have to work you selfish dick head!"

And neither does the fucking world stop because the lazy, entitled, thieving prick can't watch fucking TV !!!! What a complete arse !!

I'm so sorry that your DH has turned into such a complete wankery asshole who screams and bullies his wife because she has the utter cheek to ask for HER OWN fucking charger back, despite several previous conversations requesting HE NOT FUCKING USE IT COS IT'S NEEDED FOR WORK STUFF !!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone on the bloody planet can do without THAT kind of prick in their life ! Who the fuck does he think he is ??

Everyone who tries to' 'chalk it up to the stress of isolation'' blah, blah, blah.................doesn't have to LIVE with him and suffer according to his mood swings, they'd change their opinion pretty bloody quickly if they did I'm sure !!

Stress is bad right now, yes, but that's NO excuse to behave threateningly is it ? If it was, then everyone who has extreme stress e.g got terminal disease, got special needs challenging behaviour kids, got disability, in constant pain etc etc.......that's a free pass for them all to scream at their ''loved ones '' and tower over them menacingly whenever they feel like it ?? i don't think so !!!!!!

Would it even have been perfectly OK during the world wars, that type of bullying behaviour ? NOPE.

Bottom line?...............HE is responsible for how he acts when under stress, and for how he reacts to you. NO ONE else is ''responsible'' for how HE behaves.

YOU only have to decide whether you want to be his emotional (if not physical) punching bag................

Jesus his reaction is well out of proportion. And yes, why didn't he use the charger he was trying to pass into you. And actually YES your work is more important than him using his fire stick. He sounds like a teenager having a tantrum tbh. Not an attractive trait at all

I'm fed up of living like this.
Basically, this sort of behaviour is becoming more regular. I thought I'd married someone relaxed and laid back, unlike my stressed out, snappy, angry father, but what I'm finding is that as soon as DH's "perfect" behaviour is challenged, that laid back, relaxed person I thought he was is a shouty, entitled selfish twat.

I must have an inbuilt radar to find up-tight disrespectful misogynists.

Why didn’t he just use his own charger rather than stealing hers then screaming abuse in her face

Did I say shouting abuse at her was ok?! No I bloody well never.

Iv already said that it’s probably because at the time hers was closer and she wasn’t using it ffs!

He then offered her another one to use but she was just trying to be funny by making a point that she wanted that one back when she could of used the other one on offer.

At no point should he of been shouting a load of abuse.

I move chargers all the time to places I’m sitting or using. It annoys my partner too as he would rather have them in one place and go to that place. I still take them when needed, he wouldn’t tell me to unplug something when there was an offer of another charger he could use.

I think a lot of women are realising when having to actually spend lots of time with their DH/DP when they’re not out of the house working most of the day that their relationship is awful. This doesn’t sound loving. I’m a bit of a disaster and have often scratched the car/forgotten something important/done something stupid wrong and my DH has never ever even raised his voice to me. I would not tolerate what he put you through today. He doesn’t even see your actual job and work as important compared to his leisure tv time

Someone on another thread said something recently that really stuck with me - if you want to know who your partner really is, look and listen to how they react when you say no to them. He sounds like a nob. Regardless of tensions being high / cabin fever etc if he's flown off the handle like this it's disgusting and he should be at minimum apologising and saying he lost his temper and it won't happen again. But it doesn't sound like this is a one off OP from your later posts. Sorry, it sounds like a shitty position to be in with him. Have the kids said anything?

It's really obvious that the cable he had was faulty or cheap or fake and that's why he wanted the OP's cable. I don't use a fake apple cable in my work phone because I don't want to fuck up my phone. I use the cable that came with it.

He's an absolute arsehole OP. Sorry you're stuck with him. Do you have to be?

Nah it's about the charger. I get rage when someone moves mine. People at work nick them too - I don't have a free supply bloody coming in

Someone on another thread said something recently that really stuck with me - if you want to know who your partner really is, look and listen to how they react when you say no to them.

This. If his niceness depends on the rest of you never disagreeing or saying no - he isn’t nice.

Bold fail

Time to consider if you want to be in a relationship with someone like that. And if you want your children around that. His attitude is unreasonable. And you know it wasn’t a one off. He’s dangerous.

Not about a charger at all.

OP yes I'd be having a long think about whether you actually want to spend your one precious life being this person's partner, and them being yours.

How old are your children?

He sounds horrible.

What I don't understand though is why he needed a charger for the fire stick anyway? Are you saying the TV wouldn't have worked otherwise? Normally that's sorted as soon as you buy the TV/fire stick.

But as to how he treats you - it's awful. He feels free to override you, to take what's yours and to make your life a misery if you don't cave in.

OP, ignore @Olawisk he / she is like on every bloody thread, and like your partner, a misogynist.

A misogynist 😂 because it would of just been easier to take the charger offered instead of having a row🤔

I clearly said the treatment of the OP was not right in regards to the abuse after.

I would of said the same if the OP was a man and it was a women who was the charger thief.