Husband just told our 6yo DD that I am going to die because I am fat

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He is the same weight as me, I am v overweight after putting weight on after birth due to health issues, steroids a d eating the wrong foods. He says that he said it to wake me up to start to lose weight. He has started to comment when I eat things he thinks I shouldn't. I am livid he has frightened our DD like this and feel this is abusive behaviour. He doesn't see it like that. Am IBU?

No. He's a shit

It is abusive behaviour and you don't make someone lose weight like that, you get a divorce behaving like that and what a nasty thing to say to a 6 year old who has probably already realised large number of people are dying. What an utter piece of shit.
Show him this post and tell him I think he is the lowest of the low and a twat as well.

Well all know how you can lose 50 % straight away then..

Tell your DD that daddy was making a stupid joke. Then take your DH somewhere out of earshot of DD and give him the bollocking of his life. It is fucking inexcusable of him to frighten a child in order to bully you. And of course he is abusive. He is beneath contempt.

No you are not unreasonable, I'm sorry you feel you have to ask that question. Have you anywhere you and DD could go? That is sickeningly abusive.

Big hugs xx

He's a complete wank badger, who k ok n earth says that to a child. Fucking idiot

That’s shocking OP. Your poor DD.

Know it is never as simple as that to LTB, but really really try to get things in place so that you can. His actions are inexcusably cruel to both you and your daughter, and I imagine this is not an isolated incident. I wonder how much of your eating might be emotional escape or comfort driven from living with a man capable of inflicting such pain on you. Am so sorry you are going through this OP.

Whether he has a point or not he should have never said that to your daughter like that. How did she react?

What a fucking prick! Surely he recognises the utter double standard of what he’s said?

Of course it’s never, ever acceptable for a parent to frighten their child to achieve any end. What’s he been doing to constructively help you?

She cried her eyes out. I took her to a different room. He doesn't accept the double standards saying that men weigh more than women per height. He has talked about us eating more healthily together a day I did persuade him to join ww online with me but we both lost interest.

*and

Ironically he had surgery to lose weight 10 years ago and has put all ten stone back on.

I am on lockdown for 12 weeks as I am immunosuppressed so I cannot escape anywhere for fear of the Coronavirus

Thank you all so much for tour advice and support. It means so much.

*your

He is a massive wanker.
Your poor, poor daughter.
I am fuming on your behalf, OP.

He put 10 stone back on? With that weight gain he must be just as much in danger as you. To be honest you clearly both could be healthier weights but saying that to a child is so absolutely beyond the pale that it's going to be hard to ever excuse it. It's basically cruel bullying of you, via your weakest point the love for your child.

Not only is it frightening for your daughter. It's abusive to you. It's also unlikely to help her develop a healthy relationship with food and her body.

He's awful and wrong. And it would certainly be a warning shot from me.

He's a fuckwit. I feel so sad for you and your daughter. You both deserve better. Please know this is not normal or ok. Please look after yourself. You deserve better.

If you are unable to leave, is there any way you could get him to move out? Could he stay with a relative or friend?
At the very least, once the lockdown is over, I think you should seriously consider your options. Do you want to live with this vile person for the rest of your life?

This is shocking your poor child, I grew up being told I was fat, years later I saw some photos of me aged 19 I looked so thin I cried, today I still can’t look in a full mirror. If he carries on get rid hugs.

It's incredibly abusive. His nagging you and commenting about your weight and what you eat is one thing - it's rude and ineffective and in context probably intentionally abusive, but you're an adult and can decide for yourself how much you should be concerned and how much to put up with from him.

What he did to your daughter is inexcusable, and the fact that he's STILL gaslighting you and claiming he's in the right even after seeing her reaction is incredible. I would make HIM apologise to her and explain that it was a very stupid, bad joke. And then, sorry, I would ask him to leave.

Absolutely shockingly disgusting abuse of your daughter, and you. But worse for your daughter because she is an innocent 6 year old. You can never ever go back from this OP.