The most embarrassing thing you've done infront of your DH

[GoofyLuce]

Something to cheer us up...

On our way to our second date I felt a bill unwell. I promptly vomited all over the ticket hall floor in Oxford Circus tube station.

Turned out I was brewing a nasty kidney infection but still.

Not exactly in front of him but once rang him hysterical that my new car had been stolen from a supermarket car park.
He drove over all sympathetic like...
I had just parked in another part of the carpark... It was behind me.

Very embarrassing.

Apparently when I was off my tits on Fentanyl, I made very suggestive comments to DH.
And the anaesthetist.
And the nurse.

I had a home birth and dh had to hold the torch for the midwife while I had stitches. I wasn't embarrassed but it was funny

Me and my DP were trying put new 'moves' in the bedroom. Just as I was reaching the crucial point of the 'session' lost controll of everything below my waist and FARTED i have NEVER seen my DP move so fast! what made it worse was that I found it so funny that I was rolling around the bed laughing and farting more

Had diarrhoea on the kitchen floor not long after we had first moved in together. Luckily he worked in social care and it didn't put him off.... 🤦‍♀️

We are very open with each other and don't really have any boundary's (🙈) so I don't get embarrassed but the other day we were messing around after a few gins and I was trying to recreate a couple challenge thing I'd seen on Instagram, he caught my legs in a handstand and lifted me up, his head was in between my legs and I let out a very loud fart. He dropped me and I sort of rolled over into a ball to try and protect myself from the wooden floor, whilst we laughed about it for a few minutes. Anyone who sees some of the daft things we do would think we are nuts. Boredom taking over at the moment!

One of our first dates, we went out for dinner and I sat down where there was no chair . Rolled about on the floor like a big hippo trying to get back up in my heels. Thankfully, I was a bit pissed, so I didn't combust with embarrassment on the spot, or hurt myself too much.

Ah no, I take that back. I did a huge big fart at the point of orgasm. That was years ago now, but I still worry about it every single time.

Something to cheer us up........you first OP

Why do I have a feeling these are all going to be mainly about farting

I've already done mine

Peed myself because our pet rabbit made me laugh too much

In bed with DH when I had just had DS, he woke up saying he was so sweaty on his back, I'd spooned him and my boob leaked so much all over him. He nearly puked lol.

After sex I must've had too much air down there and made a farting noise from my mini when I moved, he fell off the bed laughing.

Also pregnant with DS when we thought my waters broke, nurse on the phone asked if they smelt like bleach, he was smelling my pjs and it turned out I peed - he was smelling my pee for ages.

Lol marriage is funny

Rolled over in bed to make room for him, taking the duvet with me. Once I'd turned myself into a human burrito, I then carried on over the edge of the bed to the floor. Where I remained pinned, arms held fast to my sides, and in the tiny space between the bed and the wall. The only way out was to make caterpillar moves until I'd cleared the end of the bed and could unwrap.

Farted during sex!

Made him remove my plug which had just come away as I was getting out of the bath, in hospital. Looking back I cringe. At the time I didn't give a flying fuck.

Once in bed DH grabbed me and started tickling me (I HATE being tickled), and I was trying to wriggle out of his grasp but he had one hand pressed one my stomach and basically I let out a very VERY long fart. It just kept going. Cringing just writing this.

Love all these!

Once DH was tickling me so much I was crying laughing and trying to get him to stop because I suddenly felt the urge to go, he thought it was just me trying to get out of it and carried on and I accidentally pooped myself.

Also when heavily pregnant i caught a V&D bug, couldn't get up out of bed, vomming in a bucket at one end and shitting into his hands at the other as he tried desperately to keep it off the bed..

Oh the shame!

I walked into a glass door, hard, face first as the glass was absolutely spotless and I thought the door was open. It was an upmarket designer shop and I still cringe thinking about it.

I have only his word for his, as I was off my tits at the time, and had been in non-productive labour for three days and not slept, but apparently I recited a long and abstruse poem by a Nobel Prize winner as the anaesthetist was putting in the epidural for my CS. The poor anaesthetist kept trying to ask me questions about what I was feeling, but I was unstoppable and would brook no interruptions.

Look, I thought we needed a break from farting.

He caught me posting troll threads on Mumsnet once.

Not really, but that would be mortifying.

Why are the majority of these about farting!!?

I once tried to be all sexy and stripped naked to join DH in the bath...I was giving it all the sexy moves, lent on the side of the bath to seductively ease myself into the water but my hand slipped and gave way and I cracked my cheekbone down hard on the side of the bath. It was such a shock i started crying. What a twat. DH reminds me at least once a year "oh ha ha remember when you.....". Yeah fuck off 🙄