The most embarrassing thing you've done infront of your DH

[GoofyLuce]

Something to cheer us up...

Haven't we already had a fart thread today? It's like watching a 4 year old trying to tell a knock knock joke.... Funny 1st time...

(yes, I know it's lighthearted, yes, I do have a good sense of humour, but I'm not a 5 year old who giggles as soon as bums or farts are mentioned)

And yes, I know how to scroll past too 😏

Oh where do I begin and end with this one?
To be honest? DH watching me blow trumpets in the midwife's face as she was stitching me up, post-delivery is a real 'stand out' moment. I mean, whatever attraction he felt towards me just burnt to the ground.
It was mortifying. The poor midwife. I am sure I singed her eyebrows.
All I kept telling myself was, "This is your last baby. You will NEVER see these people again... possibly even DH after this."

CrepuscularCritter I am crying laughing at that. Much needed. Thank you

Oh! Sorry. I added another fart one! And this is the first windy thread I've come across all day.

Not my partner but just on Saturday and I was in my dressing grown, yet I apparently flashed my fangina! Yes I appreciate its written wrong, yet through blushed cheeks I told them this was my new mother's day pink and red heart pyjama hotpants (meant to be shorts) they didn't believe me, haven't got the heart to tell them..... That a rainforest has no patch on my fanny 🤣🙈

I was going to tell a farting story but.

On honeymoon we got chatting to an American couple. I’m pretty socially awkward and not too good at this kind of thing. They seemed nice enough though. On their last day in the resort they came over to say goodbye. I kind of half-froze, didn’t know what to say, then blurred out loudly and weirdly, “HAVE A NICE... LIFE?”
Then I cringed visibly and scuttled away.

12 years later my husband still says that to me on a fairly regular basis.

Apologies...... To my DM, DS, BIL, DN and DS, all aged between 69 and 10 🙈

All I have done is kill this thread 🙈🤣 1000 apologies!

@FenellaVelour. Brilliant. I can just imagine it

I was in hospital for 2 weeks last summer and on I.V antibiotics which upset my stomach. When i arrived home, DH helped me to change into my nightie then out to the garden to admire our laden raspberry bushes. I farted then shat all over the patio. I was still feeling very unwell and just stood there whilst he got the worst of it off my legs and hosed the ground. He then carried me up to the shower!

Shit myself multiple times after a csection haemorrhage -something to do with the drugs according to the midwife 🤷‍♀️

@MaMisled hahahahahahahahahaha

Farts are so hilarious aren’t they.

After my c section I went to the toilet and began to lose my plug but I couldn't bend enough to clean myself up and remove it so my DH had to it whilst trying not to vom

@Idontmattertoher
It wasn't a fart thread it was an 'embarrassing thing' thread. Always someone to come and moan or think they're superior because they don't find something funny! Bore off!

The first time my partner saw me drunk he had picked me up after a night out with friends I hadn't eaten all day so he took me to his local pizza place and has he got out the car I started crying at him not to leave me so he took me in with him but I just clung to him then to top it it off after I'd eaten I fell asleep with my head in the pizza box and only realised when I woke up at 4.30 wondering where I was , now if we are messing around and I grab him he brings up that I was like a badly hung coat wrapped round him but on a good note the guys in the pizza shop always remember my order they say first impressions last mine certainly have

Not something I did, but my housemate.

First time I brought my partner back home my housemate and his girlfriend played one hell of a trick on me...

I switched on my bedroom light and my bulb had been changed to a red light bulb, they'd sprinkled my bed with rose petals, and placed a whip and handcuffs on the bed, they even placed jelly boob sweets on the pillows 😂

I was mortified! 🙈😂

I shit myself once while sitting on the sofa - the technical term I suppose is I “sharted”

My DH was unfazed and put my pjs in the wash for me... I’d have been mortified if he wasn’t such a sweetheart 💕

Up until I was about 7 months pregnant with ds I had terrible sickness and any smell would set me off. One day hadn’t been feeling too well and the neighbours cooking set me off. So there I was throwing my guts up while my dh was holding my hair back and rubbing my back but this wasn’t any normal sort of pregnancy sickness. This was super pregnancy sickness and every time I threw up I shit myself. Up until this point in my life I’d never shit myself but on that special day it happened about 10 times.
My poor dh just kept telling me I’d be ok and helping me clean myself up. Every now and again he will fondly remember how upset I was and how he made me feel better.

I had a few gins and a curry on the Saturday and then on the Sunday me and DH we went viewing wedding venues and booked a date at our fav venue, came home and lying in bed and I laughed so hard I sharted. I was also wearing tights so it was all caught in my tights and leaking through and down them. And it was absolutely howling, the smell was sooo awful.
DH was bolking while laughing so hard he was actually sick.
He still married me ahahahaha

@rosegoldivy Speechless 🤣🤣

@userxx I know. It was the worst and funniest thing that's ever happened to me.

@rosegoldivy that's just made me Lol!

Out on our daily exercise yesterday I walked headfirst into a tree. That was wonderful.

I'm generally clumsy so I embarrase myself on a regular basis. I walk into doors, punch walls on accident, trip over nothing, drop things on myself.

I didn't do it in front of him, but I had to tell him afterwards. We were having the bathroom remodeled and I was due to have a driving test, I get belly anxiety. So I ended up shitting myself. Having to strip off in the living room to deal with it 😂

Or the time he took me for a lovely spa day and for a dinner in Bristol and on the way back to Cardiff I got explosive diarrhea (yay lactose intolerance!).

Hurting myself and pooping.