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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Is anyone else single and feeling a bit sad at the thought of months of lockdown?

58 replies

TurnOnTheFairyLights · 28/03/2020 22:35

I know- first world problems, I can pay my bills and better no relationship than a bad one.

But.... the thought of being on my own for months has got to me a little tonight.

I've not had a great couple of years and I had hoped to really start OLD this year. I turn 30 in January and I'd promised myself that things would be on the up by then.

OP posts:
LockdownLonely · 28/03/2020 22:42

Yep!

Not only am I alone at home I found out yesterday I am the only person in my work building NOT being furloughed!

So now I am on my own all the time at home and now alone all the time at work as well. 🤦‍♀️

Luckily I volunteer somewhere once a week so hopefully that will keep me sane. 🤷‍♀️

LockdownLonely · 28/03/2020 22:43

And I just want to buy some compost for my garden and I can’t even do that!

Original poster
TurnOnTheFairyLights · 28/03/2020 22:48

I have only just begun to realise how much I depended on my job for socialisation.

I am a bit worried that by the time lockdown has ended, I'll have forgotten how to act in public Shock, but in the case of emerging with intact social skills, I'm going to have to make some changes.

OP posts:
PumpkinP · 28/03/2020 23:49

Ive been single for 3 years so a few months seems like nothing to me but it does get lonely having no other adult to talk to.

zippy90210 · 29/03/2020 10:49

I've been feeling very lonely. I've been helping an elderly family member and don't have any support for myself. There are people I can turn to but don't want to bother them.

I've been regretting how things ended with an ex.

LockdownLonely · 29/03/2020 11:14

@TurnOnTheFairyLights yes I definitely did not appreciate before how much I enjoy my colleagues company and conversation!

ThirtyAndASmidgen · 29/03/2020 15:07

@PumpkinP I’m in the same boat. I have plenty to keep me occupied at home but I honestly feel like I’m going to lose my mind if I can’t touch another human being for months. I already feel like giving up.

BeKindItCostsNothing · 29/03/2020 15:22

In the same boat, and I strangely feel a lot more down than normal.
I feel so lonely. I'm WFH but I don't feel I am focused.

If you are working from home, try calling your colleagues instead of skyping or e-mailing. Call friends and family. It's good to hear a voice.

You could prepare for OLD - take photos, write a profile, think about what you would like from OLD.

Sapphiresunrise · 29/03/2020 15:23

Don't worry, I doubt it will be several months, hopefully just a few weeks. You could always start talking to new people in a couple of weeks' time and then use it as time to get to know them :) i'm in the same boat

Original poster
TurnOnTheFairyLights · 29/03/2020 16:13

I've been feeling very lonely. I've been helping an elderly family member and don't have any support for myself. There are people I can turn to but don't want to bother them

I know you don't 'know' me and it's not the same but feel free to PM if you like.

I have plenty to keep me occupied at home but I honestly feel like I’m going to lose my mind if I can’t touch another human being for months. I already feel like giving up.

The lack of touch is something getting to me to. I'm actually glad someone else mentioned it because I was worried about looking odd Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
TurnOnTheFairyLights · 29/03/2020 16:15

to me *too, excuse me!

OP posts:
MissPatty · 29/03/2020 16:22

I’m single but I have a really nice friend with benefits set up (not interested in a relationship for now) and the thought of not seeing him for the duration is really hard. It’s usually a distraction from real life and now I can’t even do that!

ZestyDragon · 29/03/2020 16:28

I'm seperated from H almost two years. I have been dating someone lovely for a little while but realise I won't be seeing him for a long while. I am a key worker and manager in the company. I have as many working from home as I can so there will be lots of time when I am alone in the office. I do feel lonely but I am also so bloody glad I seperated when I did. The idea of being trapped with such a difficult man makes me feel that its not so bad. I walk 5 miles every day either before or after work but the city is like a ghost town. I miss my friends and family and am constantly worried that I will get sick and die alone.

Gwenhwyfar · 29/03/2020 16:42

"Ive been single for 3 years so a few months seems like nothing to me but it does get lonely having no other adult to talk to."

I've been single all my life but have interacted with people almost EVERY day of my working life. It's totally different.
I used to go some weekends without talking to anybody and get quite down. Now, that's my life all the time. I know I should be calling people etc. but it's not the same.

Gwenhwyfar · 29/03/2020 16:44

" I strangely feel a lot more down than normal."

Nothing strange abut it. Lockdown is shit.

Gwenhwyfar · 29/03/2020 16:45

" I doubt it will be several months, hopefully just a few weeks."

I get that you're trying to be nice, but there is no basis for this. We've been told at least 3 months, maybe more. Gove said this morning it would be a long time.
I'm hoping to be out of prison by summer, but I've seen people on here whose employers have told them it's till September or the autumn.

Sapphiresunrise · 29/03/2020 16:52

They have warned it could be 3 months, nothing at all is confirmed. We need to see.

midgebabe · 29/03/2020 16:55

I think it's quite fine to "bother" people to chat

Most people seem happy to help others however they can

HundredMilesAnHour · 29/03/2020 17:11

I totally understand how you feel OP. I've had a couple of shit years but things were finally looking like being on the up for me.

My job was cut over a year ago but I finally had a job offer for a great job (which I'm now expecting the offer to be withdrawn any day or be put on hold). It's been a struggle not working, both financially and mentally/socially so I was so looking forward to getting back to work and some semblance of normality. And having an income!

I live alone and have been happily single for years (through choice). But then I met a wonderful man at my gym and we've been dating, almost old fashioned courting really (which has actually been surprisingly lovely). Our last date was amazing. I've never been happier and I think he felt the same way. Little did I know that that night would be the last time I saw him. We started social distancing shortly after, and then lockdown. Now I have no idea when I will see him, and if things will still be good between us when we do. When the social distancing was announced, I will admit I cried. A lot. It felt like the most wonderful man had been stolen from my grasp, maybe forever. But I'm now less hysterical than I was. I text with him every few days so I've realised that he isn't going to just vanish in a puff of smoke. We've planned what we're doing when we next go on a date when normality is resumed. I'm just hoping that it's this year rather than next!

The lack of face-to-face contact is so hard though. I'm part of a very close knit gym where I see friends there every day. It's become my social life and my support network. And now that's all gone. We're in touch over social media or WhatsApp but I miss the face-to-face contact. I miss the exercise too. Exercise was how I cleared my mind and got rid of my demons. It feels like I've lost my job offer, my potential man and my social life and my gym.

I just keep reminding myself that it's better to be home alone than be stuck at home in a bad relationship with someone you dislike and can't escape. And I'm healthy (so far).

It's my (big!) birthday tomorrow. It's going to be memorable for all the wrong reasons but it's the same for many people. We just have to hang in there and get through this.

PumpkinP · 29/03/2020 17:13

I’ve been single all my life but have interacted with people almost EVERY day of my working life. It's totally different.
I used to go some weekends without talking to anybody and get quite down. Now, that's my life all the time. I know I should be calling people etc. but it's not the same.

Sadly this is my norm
As I don’t work (carer for my dd who is disabled) no friends, little family and single so it’s pretty much the norm for me to go weeks without talking to anyone other than my children. I get if you normally have a really active social life it will feel a struggle but for a lot of people this is their normal

FuckKnowsMate · 29/03/2020 17:14

Yep! Although I have only just turned single since being dumped about two days ago! Cant even go on a night out to drown my sorrows so really feeling sorry for myself!

Sapphiresunrise · 29/03/2020 17:16

Stay strong everybody, we will get through this and back to normal 💐

Gwenhwyfar · 29/03/2020 17:20

I couldn't live like that Pumpkin. Don't know what I'd do in your place.
I wouldn't say I have an active social life as work is something else isn't it. Active social life sounds like I'm popular when I'm really not, but if you normally go out to work, community activities and the like you interact with people almost every day.

Gwenhwyfar · 29/03/2020 17:22

"They have warned it could be 3 months, nothing at all is confirmed. We need to see."

I'm afraid that if it's not 3 months, it's more likely to more than less. I don't mean that to make anyone sad, it's just so that we can prepare ourselves mentally.

solosod · 29/03/2020 17:23

Another single one checking in. That my last relationship ended just before this all kicked off is making me miss companionship and touch even more. I have noone to interact with in person daily. It's really tough. Also available for PMs or WhatsApp if people want.

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