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Original poster

Is anyone else single and feeling a bit sad at the thought of months of lockdown?

58 replies

TurnOnTheFairyLights · 28/03/2020 22:35

I know- first world problems, I can pay my bills and better no relationship than a bad one.

But.... the thought of being on my own for months has got to me a little tonight.

I've not had a great couple of years and I had hoped to really start OLD this year. I turn 30 in January and I'd promised myself that things would be on the up by then.

OP posts:
Gwenhwyfar · 29/03/2020 17:24

Hundred - that' quite unlucky.
On the plus side, your new man isn't likely to meet anyone else during this time so should still be available when it's over.

solosod · 29/03/2020 17:26

Actually I miss talking too. Keyboards just aren't the same

Missillusioned · 29/03/2020 17:27

You're right, it's truly shit. I keep tormenting myself with the thought that if I lived with a partner I could while away the time having lots of sex 😂

And everyone tells us that it's better than being in lockdown in a bad relationship, but I'm not sure it is actually (abusive relationships aside). My last year with my ex was awful, but at least if someone was ill there was a second adult in the house who could drive to get medicine/food/ help. And I did not have to hand over my children for days at a time while remaining completely alone. I feel very exposed as a single parent and very lonely when the children are with their father. But then I have found the worst bits about being single generally worse than being in a shit relationship, so I'm aware I'm not typical.

famousforwrongreason · 29/03/2020 17:30

I ended a relationship just as people were starting to take notice of the coronavirus. He was a deceitful smug self serving narcissist.
I miss the company and of course I miss sex but not at the expense of my mental health.

SazBelle · 29/03/2020 17:35

It is pretty tough - after being "let go" from a long term relationship about 10 weeks ago - to find out he was already seeing someone else with in 3 weeks of splitting up. My kids are so sad and confused (they are not his but he treated them like his own). So I am here alone with two miserable kids knowing he is having a good time still driving between his home (where he gets to see his daughter during the week) and then driving off to his new girlfriend for the rest of the week and weekends.
I been looking out for local groups to connect with. But maybe a good chat on MumsNet will be just what I need. Smile

AlternativePerspective · 29/03/2020 17:36

I’m not single but my DP lives 120 miles away because of his job and we usually see each other at weekends.

My parents live 100 miles in the opposite direction.

At the moment. Have no idea wen or even if we will see each other again.

I never had a raging social life in fact had been mostly at home due to my health but at least I had DP here on weekends. Now nothing.

sorrow4ever · 29/03/2020 17:36

I would prefer be alone with my D.C. than with DH and DC. Me and DH have been arguing every day and night till 1am and now discussing the possibility of a divorce as soon this is over... DC is in great stress because of our fights and the fact he can't see his friends.
Everything is a mess here, feels a heavy storm day. I'm not sure we will do/cope/survive if this takes 3 or 6 months.
Might as well go straight to the loony place 😢

Bluntness100 · 29/03/2020 18:05

We've been told at least 3 months, maybe more

We have not been told that. I think the issue here is Jenny Harris wasn’t so clear so her words could be twisted. She said it could be three to six months before we were back to normal, maybe even longer, with no certainty in those numbers.

That doesn’t mean lock down continues, it could be restrictions are lifted gently, and life eased back over that period. Please don’t write stuff that’s not true. The media are doing it as well, and it’s not on.

HundredMilesAnHour · 29/03/2020 18:06

On the plus side, your new man isn't likely to meet anyone else during this time so should still be available when it's over.

@Gwenhwyfar Ha ha yes, that thought had also occurred to me. Grin I just have to be patient (not one of my strengths at the best of times).

I guess in this current period of uncertainty, we're all learning a lot about patience, single or not.

Jennifer2r · 29/03/2020 18:16

I found this article helpful

www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/why-we-crave-human-touch-and-how-to-survive-without-it-during-coronavirus_uk_5e70b2f1c5b63c3b64849b63

Please don't say flippantly 'well I'm stuck at home with my hubby and kids and I'd kill to live alone' - we all have different challenges during these times...

dingdang · 29/03/2020 18:17

I last saw my boyfriend a week ago and won't see him again until who knows when, I'm a single parent who shares care of our child with her dad, so It's tough going. I'm video calling him and my friends and an having evening drink and chat with them but I miss my daughter when she is not here and miss my boyfriend too. It's shit but I'm digging deep and taking it all one day at a time...

Terralee · 29/03/2020 18:24

I'm single, luckily I work in a hospital where there are some nice men (obviously these are serious times but I can't help noticing), and I keep hoping I will meet a nice single man but it will be a bit difficult with the social distancing!

I'm trying to stay positive...

solosod · 29/03/2020 18:34

This time feels like that lag between Christmas and New year when most people have bunkered down with their families. I hate it.

BTW top tip for anyone who has a friend in this situation, don't turn it back and talk about how hard your life is being married. Hear them and empathise esp if it's a loneliness you can't sympathise with. And even if your partner is long distance it's still not the same!

RainWoman19 · 29/03/2020 18:41

Iv been single for 3 werks now after a 12 year relationship that became abusive towards the end..him not me. I feel that somebody was looking down on me and gave me the courage to end it at the right time. The thought of being in lockdown with him is awful, id rather be alone...although its quite lonely so yeah Im feeling it too X

Gwenhwyfar · 29/03/2020 18:47

"This time feels like that lag between Christmas and New year when most people have bunkered down with their families. I hate it. "

I see friends in that time. I quite like it. Plus I can go out and do things, even if it's quite cold. If I'm bored on holiday or at the weekend, I can go and sit in a nice café with a newspaper or travel to another city. Totally different to this.

solosod · 29/03/2020 19:00

@gwen I was only talking about my experience and you are right we have more freedom then. Please don't invalidate how I feel though. Its tough either way

Gwenhwyfar · 29/03/2020 19:22

"We've been told at least 3 months, maybe more"
"We have not been told that. I think the issue here is Jenny Harris wasn’t so clear so her words could be twisted. "

I didn't know anything about what Jenny Harris said - had to look it up now as it was just done today.

I thought we had been told 3 months to begin with by the government, but Ok, I'll take your word for it. Gove did say a long time this morning according to the news and I don't think he meant a couple of weeks.

The furlough offered by the government is for 3 months with a possibility of extending. That gives us an idea.

According to news sources I found on google, people who are shielded have been told not to go out for 12 weeks. That also gives us an idea.

I haven't seen anything that suggests a few weeks.

Gwenhwyfar · 29/03/2020 19:25

"Please don't invalidate how I feel though."

When did I invalidate how you feel?

MadamePewter · 29/03/2020 19:27

@FuckKnowsMate well that’s shit timing! Have a virtual 🍷

MadamePewter · 29/03/2020 19:28

@Terralee hot, but not over 38.7 😃

madcatladyforever · 29/03/2020 19:31

Nothing has changed for me. I work full time in a hospital and need my single personal space at home.

zippy90210 · 29/03/2020 19:50

Turnonthefairylights - OP thank you, that's very kind. I got myself back into a routine this afternoon and have perked up.

I use the Mumsnet app so I don't think I can send personal messages.

Much appreciated though Smile

Lolailo · 29/03/2020 19:56

I get you. Luckily for me, my kids are here one week on, one week off. But I have been single for five years and I miss things like someone hugging me to sleep. Must have been 6 or 7 years without that.

I dumped a guy I was dating for three months just before this started. And this situation really helped and reminded me why I don't like him. He makes so poor decisions that he is now stuck abroad for who knows how long (decided to travel in the middle of the crisis and could not come back when gov asked everyone to return). So although I could have someone, it is true that it needs to be a special someone in order to be happy and it is better this way. That's the tough part.

Scott72 · 29/03/2020 20:09

How does this lockdown work exactly? Are you still allowed to leave your home and go for a walk? Can you go to the shops?

solosod · 29/03/2020 20:20

@turnonthelights hope you've had a better day today. I'm available for PM if you want. This is a new ID but I can tell you some other names I've had on here