Bf smokes weed and watches conspiracy theories all day every day..

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Hi everyone I'm new here and looking for some advice. I'm 28 and my OH is 30. We have been together 6 years and took a year break in 2018. I work full time and my OH doesn't work.

So since getting back together things were rocky small arguements and bickering etc. In this past year my OH has got himself into the conspiracy theory world which I'm not against, but he also smokes alot of weed. Every day all day just watching vids and smoking weed.
It bothered me when he started giving up jobs very quickly hes been back here living together for a year and had 3 jobs.. all not lasting more than 2 months or a few weeks... which I said to him I'd rather he takes time to find a job that he really wants so he sticks at it then something he hates and keeps quitting. (Ideally I'd like him to work till he finds a dream job as I'm doing but I highly doubt it)
A few weeks after quitting his last job he became a recluse. He has his own bedroom where he will sit and smoke weed and watch these awful awful videos about the illuminati and so on. I mean some of this is really grim stuff.
I am not against conspiracy theorists but it's like hes been hypnotized 😔

He doesnt talk about normal life anymore, doesnt want to even try to get a job because "theres more serious things going on in the world". He doesnt sleep in our bed anymore as hes up all night watching these videos, hes moody and mean with his words.
Its got so hard lately to be around him as all he wants to talk about is how all the celebs are statanists etc and they eat people. Now I'm a very sensitive person and I have very bad anxiety which I've had since I can remember and i have told him i dont want to know a million times as i can never get what he says out of my head (all the bad stuff).

So after months and months of this I finally said right I'll watch a video with you I'll support you in your new world of this and try to understand it.
So we did.. all 2 and a half hours of constant information bashing anyone thats famous. Talking about spirit cooking (that was shocking) and people torturing children and killing them. I felt completely exhausted after watching just 1 of these extremely intense videos..
I thought to myself how on earth does he do this all day every day!!?? I'd be going crazy.

So what do I do now?

I work all the time, I pay for everything even his weed and cigarettes! Yet I get hurled abuse and get called names daily.. ( I'm a sheep - will say that in my face shouting sheep sheep sheep. When I tell him to go away hes like no it's my living room what you gunna do.. he calls me a cunt and a bitch. The list is endless..)
What happened to the man I first got with?? He never used to be like this fiery yes hes irish I love his fiery personality but this is beyond firey it's starting to feel like I cant speak, i cant say anything without me being in the wrong and i can never criticize him or bring up things hes called me and tell him I'm upset. He just plays it off like oh here we go again the victim etc..

I really dont know what to do anymore.

Help 😔

Why would you do this OP ?

If your daughter were living this life , what would you want her to do ?

my OH is 30..... I said to him I'd rather he takes time to find a job that he really wants so he sticks at it then something he hates and keeps quitting
He doesn't have that luxury.......HE is old enough to figure this out himself.

He's using YOU as a cash cow to pay for his lifestyle whilst he spins you one line after the other.

It doesn't sound like you have anything in common and you don't share the same values.

I don't know why you insist on trying so hard when he blatantly doesn't give a shit about you.

My OH has got into a ranty phase lately. Thankfully he works, doesn't smoke, pays the bills and is generally ok in most departments, but he just sucks the joy out of life, and it has been enough to make me consider leaving him, and I would have by now if he wasn't decent elsewhere.

I do think sometimes he has a point - yes we probably are being taken for a ride by the elites, but we all know that and we're just getting on with our lives. It doesn't make us idiots, as it is more idiotic to smoke weed and bury yourself in this misery without doing anything to change it. Which sounds like what your OH is doing.

Ask your OH what he is actually doing to change these problems, because sitting on your arse, sponging off people and 'telling' (ranting) at people believing you are some heroic messenger when you are really just alienating yourself from people, isn't really changing the world for the better. Infact, it just sounds like he is sponging and freeloading from the world, which ironically sounds exactly like what he thinks those elitist arseholes are doing.

Wow he sounds an amazing bf...

What the fuck are you getting out of this relationship? Jesus just dump him and enjoy your life.

I think you mean "ex-boyfriend ". Dump the lazy shit.

Why on earth are you staying with him? I know it’s tough at the moment but for goodness sake get rid of this useless man, he must be a total drain on you both financially and emotionally. Kick him out.

I am sorry, your self esteem sounds really low but it is not acceptable for your partner to call your names and treat you so horribly.

You poor thing - you must be absolutely ground down and at rock bottom to accept this behaviour in a “partner”. I can understand that it has not always been this bad and it has probably descended gradually but really you have to draw a line now.

Get rid pronto. He’ll drag you down with him if you don’t.

OP??

He is abusing you. After abuse for so long it more than likely has became your norm and you've accepted it's ok. your self esteem is more than likely at rock bottom hence why you haventy had the strength to leave. Try and seek some help from womens aid as no one deserves to be treated in this way.

Cock is abundant and of low value. There is not one reason to keep this tedious piece of shit in your life. Discard him and enjoy life. Do the Freedom project and work on your self esteem.

You need to tell him he shapes up or ships out. Why are you paying for his weed? What a shit relationship. Tell him to sling his hook

I couldn't even get to the end of that, sorry. Set your bar massively higher. Leave him.

If you pay for everything does that mean the house is in your name only? If so, you can boot him out immediately and the police will help you. You can even call their DV unit to tell them you are about to kick out the stoned aggressive loser, you are worried about his reaction and they'll arrange to come round and see him off.

Why is it hard for you to decide what to do? Is it not obvious to kick him out immediately?

Do you really think this is the best you can do?

I've got used to reading people's posts on here about their lazy, workshy,
drug addled DP/DH's but yours just stopped me in my tracks- he pays for nothing/does nothing AND YOU EVEN PAY FOR HIS DRUGS? Please Op, do yourself a massive favour and throw him out.

I cannot stand people like this being round them is draining, they are loosing touch with reality and the weed on top he is fucked. Pleaseleave him.

I got stuck in an abusive relationship with a conspiracy theorist for far too long - they get worse and worse, it’s a sickness. The awful anti Semitism is intolerable.

It’s sad how many posts like this there are on Mumsnet and so often the OP disappears as in this case.

OP, I wonder if you were brought up in an emotionally abusive/neglectful household and associate abuse with love?

Please leave this awful cocklodger. You are young and can do so much better.

He calls you a cunt etc! There's no going back from this.

And the stoner and conspiracy thing is annoying as fuck

That the being verbally abusive thing is while he's living at your expense, and you're paying for his weed, makes it even more disrespectful.

Fuck corona- get rid of him immediately!

You deserve better. Get rid.

OP, I’m concerned for your safety. Excess weed use can lead to paranoid psychosis, and watching all those conspiracy videos sounds like your OH is well on the way.

Tragically, untreated paranoid psychotics can murder partners, convinced that their partner is some kind of threat to them, or part of the conspiracy. I would get rid of this man as soon as possible, and try to get a mental health referral for him.

Get rid, he’s walking all over you. Perhaps consider some counselling too to help with your self esteem, you really do deserve a lot better than this loser

Oh op. You poor love. Reach out to friends and family. Be honest with them. Ask for help to get him out. And block any contact with him. He will destroy all your hopes and dreams.

Ohhhh. He has got to go OP, you cant win here and you can't get your boyfriend back. He's gone now and can't return. Accept it and move him on. He's driving himself close to the edge, please step away before he takes you with him. Dont stop to help him, he'll hate you the more for it. Seriously. Do it. One of you has to go, make sure its him.

What you do now is leave him. He's gone over the edge, you can't do anything about it.

There are a good few men like this and once they're on the paranoia, lack of motivation inducing skunk weed, and have moved on to conspiracy clips then there's no hope.

I'm convinced some minds simply aren't equipped for the brain bombardment that social media is. They go on & on seeking out stuff then sit there watching some random guy who's likely streaming from his mum or girlfriend's house and imagines himself as a Guru - & they hang on to every unsubstantiated word and silly theory. Gullible. & smoking skunk compounds it all.

Look after your own mental health and get rid OP, it's not worth being with these types. They're mostly scroungers anyway, you'll end up with nothing.