Bf smokes weed and watches conspiracy theories all day every day..

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Hi everyone I'm new here and looking for some advice. I'm 28 and my OH is 30. We have been together 6 years and took a year break in 2018. I work full time and my OH doesn't work.

So since getting back together things were rocky small arguements and bickering etc. In this past year my OH has got himself into the conspiracy theory world which I'm not against, but he also smokes alot of weed. Every day all day just watching vids and smoking weed.
It bothered me when he started giving up jobs very quickly hes been back here living together for a year and had 3 jobs.. all not lasting more than 2 months or a few weeks... which I said to him I'd rather he takes time to find a job that he really wants so he sticks at it then something he hates and keeps quitting. (Ideally I'd like him to work till he finds a dream job as I'm doing but I highly doubt it)
A few weeks after quitting his last job he became a recluse. He has his own bedroom where he will sit and smoke weed and watch these awful awful videos about the illuminati and so on. I mean some of this is really grim stuff.
I am not against conspiracy theorists but it's like hes been hypnotized 😔

He doesnt talk about normal life anymore, doesnt want to even try to get a job because "theres more serious things going on in the world". He doesnt sleep in our bed anymore as hes up all night watching these videos, hes moody and mean with his words.
Its got so hard lately to be around him as all he wants to talk about is how all the celebs are statanists etc and they eat people. Now I'm a very sensitive person and I have very bad anxiety which I've had since I can remember and i have told him i dont want to know a million times as i can never get what he says out of my head (all the bad stuff).

So after months and months of this I finally said right I'll watch a video with you I'll support you in your new world of this and try to understand it.
So we did.. all 2 and a half hours of constant information bashing anyone thats famous. Talking about spirit cooking (that was shocking) and people torturing children and killing them. I felt completely exhausted after watching just 1 of these extremely intense videos..
I thought to myself how on earth does he do this all day every day!!?? I'd be going crazy.

So what do I do now?

I work all the time, I pay for everything even his weed and cigarettes! Yet I get hurled abuse and get called names daily.. ( I'm a sheep - will say that in my face shouting sheep sheep sheep. When I tell him to go away hes like no it's my living room what you gunna do.. he calls me a cunt and a bitch. The list is endless..)
What happened to the man I first got with?? He never used to be like this fiery yes hes irish I love his fiery personality but this is beyond firey it's starting to feel like I cant speak, i cant say anything without me being in the wrong and i can never criticize him or bring up things hes called me and tell him I'm upset. He just plays it off like oh here we go again the victim etc..

I really dont know what to do anymore.

Help 😔

Get support from someone you trust OP this is not acceptable and you will feel so much better when you are rid of him. It doesn’t matter whether the conspiracy theories are based on any truth. He’s treating you like shit and you do not have to put up with it. Stop now and change your life for the better.

There is no relationship here. Leave him. I can’t work out what he brings to your life.

You might not feel able to kick him out now with Corona etc.
But whatever you do dont get pregnant

How don't you know what to do?! Tell him to leave. If he doesn't when he next goes out you lock the door from the inside and bag his stuff up. Then change the locks ASAP. Call the police if he won't take no for an answer. He's a lunatic.

What is your living situation OP - tenant / owner? Whose names are on the tenancy / deeds / mortgage?

If it's your place alone, boot him out the second the lockdown is over. You're subsidising his entire lifestyle, literally paying to be abused.

From a safety perspective you might need some backup to get him out. I wouldn't give him too much warning, either. Might turn nasty.

He’s not a BF, he’s a crazy lodger that you are supporting.
Get him out, today.

He needs to go OP.

Well, doesn't he sound like a catch

Dump & run OP. Dump & run.

Check out this thread. It'll give you pragmatic advice on how to exit your relationship. You know you need to leave.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3859717-For-those-on-lockdown-with-an-abuser

You may find these books useful to figure out why you ended up in this situation.

Lundy Bancroft's book 'Why Does He Do That? docdro.id/py03

www.amazon.co.uk/Why-Does-He-That-Controlling-ebook/dp/B000Q9J0RO?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

How He Gets into Her Head: The Mind of the Male Intimate Abuser www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1855942208/ref=cm_sw_r_em_apa_i_gxxAEbBTMRXTM?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

You already know what you have to do op.

I work all the time, I pay for everything even his weed and cigarettes! Yet I get hurled abuse and get called names daily.

Don't you feel you've just answered your own question? You know what you should do. It will be hard but worth it - you only have one life OP.

Sounds as if he already has his dream job - relaxing on drugs while eating your food in his private room while you do everything for him.

yes hes irish I love his fiery personality

Bin him!!!! What an absolute loser !!!

At the moment, there is absolutely no reason for him to change, is there? You are basically enabling his lifestyle.

Unless you want to spend the rest of your life like this, then perhaps it is time to think about separating.

Perhaps he's depressed.

So what if he is? Being depressed doesn’t give you free reign to behave like this.

I echo what others have said. You are paying for him and his appalling lifestyle and need to get out. You deserve better and your parents would have brought you up to expect better for yourself.

On a side note, how is he currently getting his drug supply during lockdown?

What's being depressed got to do with it? I never knew depressed men called their partners cunts or shouted in their faces

I used to have an ex like that. He was awful and lazy and refused to get a job as he was against capitalism. I worked two jobs and paid the bills and the rent for the place we lived in whilst he watched political and conspiracy theory videos and smoked all day long. He would watch this stuff for hours on end barely spending time with me. But because sex was so great (when he could finally be bothered to get up) and I thought I loved him, I stayed. Until one day I came home and he had run up the bills watching TV all day and watching conspiracy videos online and eating out my fridge. I asked him again to get a job and we ended up in an argument with him saying that he didn’t like me pressuring him and that he wanted to become a rioter and go against capitalism and working for “the man”. In the end I finally kicked his ass out! So glad I did it was the best thing I ever did. Turns out he became a bum living on his mums couch. Never did find out what happened to him...

He’s got a drug problem.
He’s got serious mental health issues, probably fuelled by the weed smoking.
He is lazy, workshy and abusive.

OP, you know what you have to do!

It sounds like he may becoming psychotic from all the weed. It can trigger serious MH problems

Your boyfriend obviously has serious mental health issues which the dope smoking is only going to make worse. You can’t fix this, but at the moment you are enabling it by financing it. He has to want to sort himself out, yet he obviously has no intention of trying to do anything of the sort.

He is also anunemployable, lazy, selfish, abusive scrounger.

You would be far, far better off in every possible way without him. Dump him like the useless piece of rubbish he is. You deserve better.

The fact you are even asking is rather worrying OP.
Please get rid of him and do some work on yourself.
I know it will take some time and will power to get him gone but for the love of god - stop buying his weed and cigarettes. They are luxury items and HE has to finance them if HE wants to do them!
Stop enabling this bullshit.
Get him gone.
He is an absolute waste of space.
You know it, he knows it.

He is taking advantage and you are letting him.
STOP IT!!!!!

It has nothing to do with him being Irish and everything to do with him being:

a) an asshole
b) a stoner
c) on the take
d) thick

I’d want more from a boyfriend, personally.