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Original poster

Would you end your relationship over this?

102 replies

themare · 27/03/2020 11:43

If you found out that your husband had downloaded a Tinder account and had messaged a number of different women on a number of different dates asking to meet up? He has said I am overreacting because he did not really meet up with anyone and he only did it because he has been feeling lonely and feels that I am a million miles away.

OP posts:
TinyGirl1 · 27/03/2020 17:17

Imagine you had children with him and then found out he had been cheating.

Don't wait for this to happen

Etty89 · 27/03/2020 17:19

Yes. Feeling lonely is no excuse!

Dontjumptoconclusions · 27/03/2020 17:20

The only reason he hasn't met with anyone is because it's not essential travel. Trust me if CV wasn't around, he probably would have already.

Also, how do you know he hasn't met up already?

ConcentricCircles · 27/03/2020 17:22

he only did it because he has been feeling lonely and feels that I am a million miles away

Don't let him put that crap on you OP.
Don't feel guilty - he's the one with the guilt and is trying to transfer it on to you.
Don't believe his crap that he 'didn't meet with anyone' either - he's minimising to see what he can get away with!

And YES. I damn well WOULD end my relationship over this.

WhereYouLeftIt · 27/03/2020 17:28

So happy to hear you are not tied to this man by children!

Yes, the relationship is over. He is a lying cheating scumbag.

Why are you the one leaving your shared home? Why isn't he the one to be moving out?

Ifonlywecouldwishuponastar · 27/03/2020 17:42

That would be a dealbreaker for me. He is lying to you saying he didn't meet them.

Everydayishistorytomorrow · 27/03/2020 17:49

Absaf*kinglutely!!! What the heck.... You deserve better.

tarasmalatarocks · 27/03/2020 17:50

Have you got more than 1 bedroom, if so tell him you will be in there, cooking and washing just for you till this is over and give yourself some space if you can . When it’s over then make arrangements to separate, he is a prize prick and I don’t think you will never trust him again . The fact he has reacted as he has is awful, or the alternative is if you can’t beat him , join him and do the same for ‘a bit of entertainment ‘

mamato3lads · 27/03/2020 17:53
Flowers
TheArchSorcererofContwaraburg · 27/03/2020 17:56

I'd divorce this prick.

Shinesweetfreedom · 27/03/2020 18:01

You know you will never have a minutes peace.
He will continue to lie and cheat.
That is who he is.
Get shut as soon as you can

BackseatCookers · 27/03/2020 18:02

he only did it because he has been feeling lonely and feels that I am a million miles away

God what an insufferable cunt.

Funnily enough it was my fault my ex cheated on me apparently because I earned more than him and it made him feel emasculated.

Enough to shag about but not enough to get a job with the same amount of hours or effort as mine. Funny that...

He's done something already a dealbreaker for me, then made it even worse by blaming you and punishing you for being upset about it.

Isn't life too short for this kind of dickhead?

I know the usual advice is all up in the air but even if you're stuck cohabiting for a while due to isolation, please make the decision in your head that this is over and disengage from talking to him about it.

He's made his position clear and there's no going back now.

Mammatino · 27/03/2020 18:04

His fault. His responsibility. Twat. I hope you are OK, you might feel awful and worthless now because he's made you feel that way. If a friend told me that her husband of a year (or 20 for that matter) had done this, I would be so angry with him and I would be certainly offering all my support to wipe the shit off her shoes. Good luck and take care of yourself.

Mammatino · 27/03/2020 18:06

I meant to add no matter how shitty you feel now, getting rid of him will be like the clouds lifting for you.

Pantheon · 27/03/2020 18:06

Yes

MaeveDidIt · 27/03/2020 18:31

You're worth 100 of him - pick yourself up dust yourself off and divorce him.

Empra123 · 28/03/2020 09:55

Been there. Seen that. Kicked the bugger out. Married 25 years too. And he still doesn't see that he did anything wrong - even when I asked him which bit of forsaking all others he didn't understand

Dontletitbeyou · 28/03/2020 10:59

Don’t let him ring you down. All of this is down to him being a pathetic wanker .
Soon as this CV crap gets sorted out , and we can all get on with our lives again ,kick that fucker out and get a divorce .
That night when he was in a hotel and he messaged someone and they went round , he shagged her no doubt at all .Get yourself checked out ASAP
Sorry Op , not what you need right now

whymewhyme · 28/03/2020 11:04

Yes a million times over, you have one life dont put up with that shit!

Elmer83 · 28/03/2020 11:52

100% Yes! The trust has been broken...just because he didn’t get the chance to meet up doesn’t matter, his intention was there. To me he’s cheated on your marriage by going behind your back.

Sorry this is happening to you xx

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 28/03/2020 11:59

He said I am being unreasonable and acting like a child

Well he would, wouldn't he? [Mandy Rice-Davies, July 1963]

Buggedandconfused · 28/03/2020 12:06

What a prick.

He’s gaslighting you, what an utter lowlife scumbag.

Kick the fucker out

pooopypants · 28/03/2020 12:15

So you found it. What if you hadn't?

He's lying and his arse would be out the fucking door, self isolating or not.

ProfessorPootle · 28/03/2020 12:18

Yes that would be the end for me. If he was feeling lonely he should have spoken to you about it before downloading tinder and trying to hook up with other women.

ProfessorPootle · 28/03/2020 12:19

So he's blaming you and calling you names. He doesn't sound like a keeper. He also doesn't have to agree to the split, relationships don't work like that, they end when one partner wants it to end, for any reason or no reason at all.

Good luck op Flowers