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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

To everyone who is unable to see OW during lock down

86 replies

Rosiejim · 25/03/2020 19:11

...ha ha!

Grin
OP posts:
ALemonyPea · 25/03/2020 21:01

Over 80 people filed for divorce the day the lockdown was lifted in China.

Original poster
Rosiejim · 25/03/2020 21:03

I did mean to say OM too! Sorry for my oversight!

OP posts:
JuanSheetIsPlenty · 25/03/2020 21:04

80 people doesn’t sound like a lot for a country as populated as China. How many applications were made on a normal day prior to corona?

PatchworkElmer · 25/03/2020 21:05

@ALemonyPea I’m surprised it’s not more!!

Original poster
Rosiejim · 25/03/2020 21:05

Confused by the idea that we should be accommodating men having affairs just to avoid their moods.

Obvs this wasn’t about anyone who might be abused by their partners being unable to continue affairs. As the wronged woman this was more of a lighthearted fuck you to all of the cheaters.

OP posts:
Friendsofmine · 25/03/2020 21:14

There is someone at partner's work who has lied to his spouse and said he has been told to stay in isolation on a base. He is with OW.

He is the one I posted about before I think!

Friendsofmine · 25/03/2020 21:14

I agree OP.

Shortfeet · 25/03/2020 21:22

What a strange post.

Lots of people are still able to go out to work . If you want to have a secret liaison , you probably still will

EightNineTen · 25/03/2020 21:30

Double lives people will just be working away and a colleague has it and they have to self isolate, then they'll have it, or someone else has it, or the employer has told them they need to stay put, or they're stuck in another country until its over.

Etc etc.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 25/03/2020 21:32

There's such a strange obsession with affairs on this board. I think MMmomDD is most likely nearest to the reality.

It must be bloody awful to be the spouse who knows their husband is cheating, doesn't think enough of their marriage to stay faithful and, during this lockdown, is thinking of their lover. Why would that in any way be something to be lighthearted about, OP? It must be devastating to realise or suspect that you are married to somebody for whom you are not their everything, not something to jeer about and it's definitely not a 'fuck you'. For the cheater it's more like 'until then', which isn't quite the same, is it?

I think there are many wives in blissful ignorance, perhaps men also and I think a divorce spike is going to be one of the casualties of this lockdown.

BradyBugs · 25/03/2020 21:33

Last week she was fuming as she had spent ages cooking for them and he texted and said he couldn’t find a reason to escape for a few hours.

Awww poor thing Confused.....
She sounds like a gem as does he.

HermanHermit · 25/03/2020 21:36

one of the reasons for the high numbers of post corona divorce is that current share / property valuations will be lower so company owners will do better out of it.

HollySideEyes · 25/03/2020 21:42

They'll just sext.

HuntingCuns · 25/03/2020 21:50

MMmomDD is absolutely right.

Bluntness100 · 25/03/2020 22:07

I agree, if anything this lock down will result in more divorces. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, missing your affair partner, and stuck at home in a stressful situation with your spouse.

yummyyummycoffee · 25/03/2020 22:42

Well if the cheaters mood is worse it will affect their dp.
And they won't know why. Hmm

Original poster
Rosiejim · 25/03/2020 23:15

Good @Bluntness100 surely If your POS spouse is cheating on you and finally finds the balls to leave after lock down then everyone’s a winner.

OP posts:
Original poster
Rosiejim · 25/03/2020 23:20

Yeh obviously @yummyyummycoffee in some cases a cheater might be moody and this might negatively effect their DP but is your alternative really that they have free reign to conduct their affair as long as they are jolly? Think you’re missing the point somewhat. I’ll be clear. For all the dickheads that have been having a lovely time betraying their spouses recently and now find themselves unable to have their bit of fun then..ha...ha.

OP posts:
BumbleBeee69 · 25/03/2020 23:53

OP you sound a tad unhinged... is everything okay ? Hmm

BradyBugs · 26/03/2020 00:25

I don't think it does. Some people don't approve of or have time for cheater's. Perfectly reasonable.

We all have the right to feel however we want about them.

LemonTT · 26/03/2020 04:50

Unfortunately, the pain of cheating isn’t limited to the physical act of them being present with each other. If only it was.

Physical containment does stop someone wanting to have sex with someone else, or being infatuated with someone else or being in love with someone else. They can do all this in their head or in secret on their phone and laptop.

Physical containment won’t make someone love you, become infatuated with you or care for you. But it might make them want to have sex with you, resent you or be angry with you. There’s no “ha ha” in it for people experiencing cheating in these times.

LemonTT · 26/03/2020 04:51

^ does not stop.

NewYearNewJob123 · 26/03/2020 05:40

It's not a victory OP. He still cheats on you. That hasn't changed.

Bluntness100 · 26/03/2020 05:47

Op, have you and whomever he is split up?

SybilWrites · 26/03/2020 06:36

I think that people think that if they can see or be with their (cheating) OH all the time, they won't have the opportunity to cheat. And then they can convince them how amazing they are, and give them loads of sex, or be amazing or show them what a good family they are or whatever and they'll forget the OW.

I had a partner who (because he was a cheat) would try to give me comfort by turning find my friends on, phoning me constantly, be with me all the time. But you can't stop them on social media, even if you can stop them going out. And it's just tiring, and anxiety making and demeaning.

But cheaters will find an opportunity to go out or they'll spend the time messaging anyway and at least one of the affair partners will think they are in a thwarted love story.

And even if you could make them see how amazing you are, it's such hard work and why would you stay that person? Everyone is worth more than that.

I also think there'll be lots of divorces after this - probably for the more mundane reason, that people just don't really like each other as much as they once did.