Husband showering - AIBU

[positive80]

So if husband is going into the office on a normally weekday he'll shower as soon as he gets up and be ultra fresh, aftershave the lot. If he works from home or on the weekend, he'll often get up without showering, walk the dog, work in kitchen if a work day or weekends lounge around, do jobs in house, mow the lawn, play with kids, and unless we are actually going out somewhere he won't have showered and start his day fresh and ready until the afternoon. He will do everything first then shower later. Am I being unreasonable? I find it quite unattractive and wonder why he can't just start each day showered, fresh and ready, like I do!! He says he gets grubby jobs done then showers once he's done them, sorry but walking the dog doesn't make you sweat, nor does doing general bits around the house, just have a damn shower!!! Why don't I get the fresh aftershave smelling husband at home that the office get? Lol

I've been ill for some time with nerve damage to my face which has made washing my face so agonising as to be impossible. Hence it has only had a quick rinse in the shower every day. I'm now feeling slightly panicky that random people might think I'm disgusting and greasy.

Controlling?? What for expecting basic body hygiene? Gosh I'd dread to think how some people live!!

He’s washing daily though, that’s totally sufficient for “basic body hygiene”! Making such a fuss about about WHEN he showers does seem a tad controlling.

Jesus christ

Jeez do you tell him what time he has to eat and go to bed as well . Like others have said you sound bit too controlling , and pretty hard work . Your husband sounds very normal , don’t sweat the small stuff , literally

I don't shower until we've walked the dog and done any little jobs. If we're out early then I'll shower the night before so we can be up and out.

This is the second time today that I've posted this exact sentence

But how dirty does he get in 24 hrs?!?

Unless he has bad body odour no point in showering before chores. Also no point before the gym. Most deodorants work well for 48 hours so he won’t stink.

I don’t think most people would say if you shower daily you absolutely need to shower first thing in the morning or you’re not doing basic hygiene and later in the day isn’t ok. Or even th next day.

This is all a bit odd. Do you have hygiene issues with other things?

Its his day off.

I would get hot walking the dog and look forward to a relaxing bath/shower in the afternoon and PJs on.

Its a break from his usual routine & he likes it.

Me and my partner have both spent the morning doing jobs and cleaning cars and things like that. We are going out for a meal shortly so will both shower and put on clean clothes before we go. I can’t see any logic in having showered this morning before spending the day doing jobs and then changing to go out.

I shower on weekdays as I'm mingling with the general public, if I'm just knocking around the house with dp or dc at the weekend I might let things slide a little. I think it's normal

You have over zealous washing views. No one smells if they get up and don't have a shower.

Are you young? Is this a new? Millennial view?

Wierd!

YABU as you have not yet mentioned whether you scrub your legs with soap.

Men used to work down mines and go to the pub after work and home to their families for tea and no one complained

I shower every morning ,unless on sat or sunday if I have a lot of housework then i put on scruffy clothes get the jobs done and shower later in the day ...makes sense to me

I wear crap clothes for major jobs around the house. If I’m cleaning the bathroom I have to get in and out of the bath to clean properly. I’ll have a nice bath once I’m done. I don’t see the problem with chilling. Plus it’s a bit of time where he can let it go a bit after a strict regime in the week!

I with you OP and my husband is the same as yours! Drives me mad.

I bathe before bed because getting into bed with the dirt and sweat of the day on you is disgusting.

Now I really do feel that way, but it’s ridiculous. Plenty of people bathe in the morning and that is perfectly acceptable.

I'm the same as your husband

@Purpleartichoke If I bathe the night before rather than on the day, people can tell. I must get very sweaty and 'fragrant' in my sleep. But some people seem to be able to get away with it.

I understand her feelings. Her DH is at work all week and dresses nicely. She sees him at weekends and wants to be attracted to him- this is important for the marriage, for intimacy etc. A smelly I showered man is not attractive shd ur makes her feel not worth his effort. I understand this .

A smelly man who has not showered is not attractive. We are all entitled to have different standards and expectations and it is important that they are compatible in a marriage.
I also understand that having been smart all week her DH wants to relax at weekends . They do not understand each other’s needs here and a compromise is needed. How about Saturdays he showers late etc but he makes an affordable on Saturday might or Sunday morning or some time to be Showered and dressed for time with OP?

Makes an effort not affordable.

Perhaps he should have the shower first thing and just not do any jobs that might leave him smelly, and let her do them instead Lux?

Yabvu