Husband showering - AIBU

[positive80]

So if husband is going into the office on a normally weekday he'll shower as soon as he gets up and be ultra fresh, aftershave the lot. If he works from home or on the weekend, he'll often get up without showering, walk the dog, work in kitchen if a work day or weekends lounge around, do jobs in house, mow the lawn, play with kids, and unless we are actually going out somewhere he won't have showered and start his day fresh and ready until the afternoon. He will do everything first then shower later. Am I being unreasonable? I find it quite unattractive and wonder why he can't just start each day showered, fresh and ready, like I do!! He says he gets grubby jobs done then showers once he's done them, sorry but walking the dog doesn't make you sweat, nor does doing general bits around the house, just have a damn shower!!! Why don't I get the fresh aftershave smelling husband at home that the office get? Lol

I've been hosing mine down on the drive daily with Zoflora for years.

I can't believe you munters with greasy hubbies.

So he needs to make himself attractive to you at all times and as you don’t find it attractive then you think he should step to it?

If a man posted on here his wife got up and did her hair and make up for work but at the weekend when she had jobs to do she finished the jobs then sorted herself, and he didn’t find it attractive he’d get his arse handed to him.

It’s the weekend! On a weekday I’m showered and dressed and out the door by 7am - this morning I’m not yet showered, I’m still in PJs and I’m lounging with my breakfast and coffee. My husband doesn’t care because he accepts me for me, and I don’t need to behave at home as though it’s a professional office environment. I’ll be showered and dressed and clean soon and that’s all ok!

I do what your dh does if I'm working from home.

@positive80 I work from home during the week, so I'm up, shaved, showered and smelling good before I start work.

Weekends I'm not immediately washed. Saturdays I'll clean and hoover downstairs and then shower after that. Sunday's I hit the ironing whilst Mrs PC is at her exercise class. If I do the lawns as well, I'll wash after that.

My teeth are done before I start any of that though.

I do exactly the same as your husband - work days I shower and make-up and go to work. Days off I do all my 'jobs' then shower and make-up. Otherwise, I'd be fresh and clean, then get dirty in the garden/house/whatever, and have to shower again, which is very bad for the skin, the environment, the bills etc.

He's totally normal.

How would you feel if he was pressuring you to follow this routine? Because it's no different to what you are doing to him - your way of doing things is not 'the right' way.

When I am doing a deep clean sat mornings I will clean up (get really hot an sweaty - real work out ) then shower? What’s the issue?

So you get up, every single morning. Immediately shower, wash and style hair and put makeup on before you start your day OP?

That's what I find strange. Your bloke has a perfect balance. Leave him alone.

Op, for the avoidance of doubt, your husband is perfectly normal and behaves as most men and women do.

It’s you who is not.

Does he actually smell bad tho? That would change my answer to be fAir. Personally I'm up and showered immediately every weekday but on a weekend I will take it a bit slower and shower late morning perhaps? But it would be different if I was causing my family to smell BO or something and may have to wash as soon as I get up

sorry but walking the dog doesn't make you sweat
Says someone that's never walked the dog. YABU just for that.

If you find his natural scent unattractive why are you even together? It's one of the basic compatibility requirements for a relationship.

Yeah I have days I don't shower at all and my husband only showers if he is going to leave the house or if he smells... Yabu

I'm not nagging him or causing my dear darling any distress so please don't worry, I accept the way he is but was wondering what others do and if it's just me who finds this behaviour strange!!
We've been together for 20 blummin' years!! 😂😂

He seems eminently sensible

He sounds sensible.

You sound controlling.

Controlling?? What for expecting basic body hygiene? Gosh I'd dread to think how some people live!! I love my husband dearly, he's hilarious and my world, just wish he'd shower when he gets up, not half way through the day when I'm all ready to go out and get stuff done!

This is most entertaining on a Sunday! 😂

I’d have expected him to bring me home a kebab so we’d smell of kebab together

Your DH is perfectly sensible. I've reported your post of 12:18. You have used a disgusting phrase.

I'd expect him to be clean and showered if we were going out somewhere. Or likely to be in close proximity to me.

Can you honestly smell someone from, say, the other side of the room? Even if they had a shower yesterday? I'd have to be sitting right next to someone before I could tell that they haven't showered in the past 24 hours. (Obviously different if they had gone days without washing or a change of clothes)

fairly reasonable of him tbh. YABU

I was doing the garden yesterday. I got up, washed my face, brushed my teeth, shoved my brushed hair up then got on with it. I didn’t have a shower until I’d finished at about 5pm. Even if I’d had a shower first thing I’d still have needed one when I came back in so couldn’t see the point. I normally do any housework that needs doing at the weekend before my shower too.

I think lots of people do what your husband does on weekends.

Why is it bothering you now if you have been married for twenty years?

He’s normal, you’re not