BF hides phone, suspected potential cheating

[Llamalaura]

I'm new but really hoping someone can make sense of this if I'm being paranoid or not, I'm at my wits end with the stress of it.

My BF (28) and I (29) have been together for 14 months but a year "officially".

Early on in the relationship I found him doing things on IG that I just don't find appropriate or respectful if you're not single, liking provocative photos and following so many half naked girls and screenshotting their bikini photos to use as he doesn't watch porn (not celebs or IG models, that wouldn't be as bad, but just normal girls). He said he'd stop. He didn't, I caught him again and he said he'd stop.

He's become so protective of his phone, doesn't let it out his sight, takes it to the toilet and shower, has it facing down at all times when I'm around and even locks the screen and puts the phone down if I've walked back in the room or glanced in the screens direction.

I asked to use his phone to post a photo on his IG instead of mine and he put his password in where I couldn't see then hovered over me the whole time, but I did manage to catch a quick glimpse at his gallery, I noticed a few photos of his ex and a few selfies of him posing in the mirror, selfies that he's never sent to me...

He tells me he loves me, he's given me a key to his flat and I stay over a lot. He treats me to dinner and cinema etc, but I can't shake that something is going on. Maybe not full on physical cheating, but something, emotional/micro cheating perhaps and I feel sick with it.

**TLDR, boyfriend of a year has become very protective of his phone, doesn't let it leave his sight. Follows hundreds of half naked girls on IG, screenshots their bikini photos to "use" as he doesn't use porn. Won't open messages or scroll IG/FB in front of me.

I know every one is entitled to their privacy even in a relationship but the fact that he's so secretive with his phone and I wouldn't be able to freely pick it up to check something concerns me. I leave my phone lying around and I've told him my password before when I've asked him to reply to a message for me.

Any advice on how to approach this? Am I jumping to conclusions?

I am sure he is very very happy having loads of women on the go. If anything it was a surprise bonus to have you coming back for more despite his behaviour. I bet he has to put considerable effort into chasing the new ones, which is probably great fun for him but still, nice to have you as the easy fall back option. Sadly, I think this is how he will see it and you.

You have believed a player. They lie and lie and lie. Convincingly. They tell women what they want to hear.

I know I get it now. I'm an idiot for having stayed so long when clearly we have different values. He's not going to change for me, possibly not at all. All I can do is remove myself from the situation. Thanks everyone for your responses.

Good luck with everything you do, Llama. I'm so glad you've seen that this isn't going to work.

My DP screenshots photos of women in bikinis and watches porn, not an issue for me as I watch porn myself but for you this is a line that he keeps on crossing, this is not okay. But my DP does NOT hide his phone, doesn't take it to the toilet, doesn't hide his phone when he's browsing through social media and messaging friends, that would be a huge red flag for me that he is clearly hiding something from me. You don't trust him OP, he's crossing a a big line for you in continuing to screenshot photos of women. I suggest you end things and find someone who has some respect towards you!

@cobwebfew if it was women he didn't know or celebs I wouldn't mind. It's a combination of the fact that it's normal women he's friends with/knows of and that he's secretive with his phone, and gets notifications into the early hours but I never get to be in the room when he replies or opens these messages.

I'm going to do exactly that, thank you