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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Help me stay strong. DH cooking dinner

71 replies

Fartlek · 29/02/2020 18:48

I normally cook as I like to cook and I work less hours. Tonight though, we have finished a portion of a house project and I submitted my OU assignment. The reward for putting in the work and getting it finished was a treat for us. I voted for a takeaway. DH vetoed this and voted for a nice steak dinner with nice wine and then cheese to finish. I said it isn't really a treat if I have to cook it. So he said he would cook. So far, so good.
I took DS swimming this afternoon and then to shop for the dinner ingredients and got home just before 6. Put the grocery bag down in the kitchen, poured a glass of wine and sat down to relax.
Oh no. DH comes in all 'look at the time, I think it needs to be a collaborative effort babe'. Essentially I say no, he goes back to kitchen. DH comes back 'so I'm doing your job by putting shopping away (one bag).'
Me 'everything in the bag is for the dinner'
Out he goes
DH again 'what about the potatoes? What kind? Baked? Boiled? Roasties?'
Me 'whatever you like, your choice'
And on and on. He doesn't know how to saute mushrooms so why should he have to cook them? (I told him how)
Fucks sake. Can I not have one night where I get to sit and do nothing while he cooks?
There is a lot of banging coming from the kitchen now. How much you wanna bet the bits of the meal I like (mushrooms) will be ruined?
Please help me to not help him.

OP posts:
Grembolina · 29/02/2020 18:50

Can you put your headphones in and listen to something?

He is hoping that you will give in and take over.

Fartlek · 29/02/2020 18:50

Now he has come in to tell DS to get off his ps4. Usually they play together while I cook. I told him this but he's said I need to go to the dr because I don't know what I'm talking about. He's not usually this vile.

OP posts:
MummaGiles · 29/02/2020 18:50

Point him towards google and tell him to get on with it. If he doesn’t know how, he can look it up.

anotherdisaster · 29/02/2020 18:50

You wanted a takeaway remember. Remind him of that if he says anything else!!

Fartlek · 29/02/2020 18:52

I really just want to refill my wine glass but I have to go to kitchen to get it and I don't have the stomach for a row just now.

OP posts:
P1nkHeartLovesCake · 29/02/2020 18:52

God I would of murdered him long ago! I couldn’t live with a man than can’t even think enough for himself to cook a meal

Fucking Google it, if you can’t think for yourself you are not a child would be my response.....

Fartlek · 29/02/2020 18:52

I will disaster!

OP posts:
namesneeded · 29/02/2020 18:53

Order a takeaway because he's being so grumpy.

Fartlek · 29/02/2020 18:54

Thing is, he can cook. Whenever he cooks its such a big deal to him. He gets really grumpy and wants heaps of praise.

OP posts:
Veterinari · 29/02/2020 18:54

Stay strong OP

he wanted steak, he can cook it - you suggested a takeaway.
He's a grown fucking adult. It's sautéing mushrooms not brain surgery
He's not helpless he's just expecting you to do what he perceives as 'wifework'

Shahlalala · 29/02/2020 18:55

Wow, what a dick! Pathetic behaviour.

Why is it your job putting the shopping away anyway? Does he not eat any of it Hmm

CherieBabySpliffUp · 29/02/2020 18:56

I'm predicting that when/if the meal is dished up and it's a disaster it will be all your fault. Stay strong OP

TorkTorkBam · 29/02/2020 18:57

This is your "treat"?

Fartlek · 29/02/2020 18:57

I'm braving the kitchen for wine. I WILL NOT comment on his lack of trimming the Brussels.

OP posts:
TorkTorkBam · 29/02/2020 18:58

Go play on the PS4 with the child.

Fartlek · 29/02/2020 18:58

Yep. What a treat. I'm so fucking relaxed. Hmm

OP posts:
namesneeded · 29/02/2020 18:58

If it's shambolic get him to cook every night this week as practise Grin

Dozer · 29/02/2020 18:58

Help you not to HELP him? Why would you want to help him, given how he behaves about cooking?

Go out for some food, alone.

Dozer · 29/02/2020 18:59

Also, why did you shop? DH suggested steak: he should’ve shopped for it.

Suggest cooking for DH much less often.

LizzieSiddal · 29/02/2020 19:01

I’d say “look, I cook every night, this is supposed to be a night off for me. If you can’t cook with grace —like I do every fucking night— I am ordering a takeaway.”

letsdolunch321 · 29/02/2020 19:01

After dinner this will be your dh

Help me stay strong. DH cooking dinner
LuluJakey1 · 29/02/2020 19:03

DH met a friend for a coffee this afternoon and rang me to ask if he could bring his friend home for tea before they go out with some other friends tonight, and could they have sausage and chips please Grin.

He is now out, the children are all in bed and I am sitting with my feet up and a bowl of apple crumble and custard.

Musti · 29/02/2020 19:04

Split the cooking from now on and don't back down. And get him to shop for his ingredients

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 29/02/2020 19:05

Oh god I feel for you.

Go run yourself a nice bath and take the bottle of wine with you.

ineedaholidaynow · 29/02/2020 19:10

Missing the point - Brussels with steak?