Help me stay strong. DH cooking dinner

[Fartlek]

I normally cook as I like to cook and I work less hours. Tonight though, we have finished a portion of a house project and I submitted my OU assignment. The reward for putting in the work and getting it finished was a treat for us. I voted for a takeaway. DH vetoed this and voted for a nice steak dinner with nice wine and then cheese to finish. I said it isn't really a treat if I have to cook it. So he said he would cook. So far, so good.
I took DS swimming this afternoon and then to shop for the dinner ingredients and got home just before 6. Put the grocery bag down in the kitchen, poured a glass of wine and sat down to relax.
Oh no. DH comes in all 'look at the time, I think it needs to be a collaborative effort babe'. Essentially I say no, he goes back to kitchen. DH comes back 'so I'm doing your job by putting shopping away (one bag).'
Me 'everything in the bag is for the dinner'
Out he goes
DH again 'what about the potatoes? What kind? Baked? Boiled? Roasties?'
Me 'whatever you like, your choice'
And on and on. He doesn't know how to saute mushrooms so why should he have to cook them? (I told him how)
Fucks sake. Can I not have one night where I get to sit and do nothing while he cooks?
There is a lot of banging coming from the kitchen now. How much you wanna bet the bits of the meal I like (mushrooms) will be ruined?
Please help me to not help him.

OP you are writing this as “light hearted” but he actually sounds like a total dick. Is there more bubbling under the surface? Are you happy?

I hope the steak was worth it!

Thanks for all the comments. This was sort of lighthearted because I don't have the time for a ltb thread but there are issues.
Dinner was very tasty and he calmed down enough to serve it with good grace. I have no doubt there will be a PA cutting remark at some point later on but its all peaceful just now.
It has been interesting reading all your posts about what happens in other households. I've only ever been in a longterm relationship with him and brought up by a single mom so I don't have much basis for comparison. Not that I'm ignorant or blind to the problems.
Anyway, just writing my post earlier cemented my resolve to leave him to it and it worked. I shall do this more often.

other households - we share the cooking. Yes, it is really nice to just sit on the sofa and wait for someone else to cook dinner. But absolutely not fair if it's always one person cooking and the other one relaxing.

Your oh will be dining off of this for weeks to come!! Mines can't do anything in the kitchen correctly... We're still trying to scrape a shake it pancake mix off the worktops etc as he had a disaster and blamed the 2 year old on it going everything 'dd did it' so I feel you! He also just said he thinks he will have naan with dinner and pointed to the freezer, then got up after my icy stare ha!

"Your oh will be dining off of this for weeks to come!!"

Why?

He's cooked a simple meal, made a fuss & been nasty.

My lovely ds2 Facetimes me when he cooks as he isn't a confident cook.... He's deaf and autistic..He lives the other side of the country.. Not long ago during a cooking session the smoke alarm was going off and he couldn't hear it...🤯
My Mum was panicking... He now has a louder smoke alarm and flashing lights... He got very excited on Pancake Day as he could hear it!!

Thank you Elderflower your post both lovely and humbling too.

It’s sadly not a “lighthearted” situation.

“Mine can’t do anything in the kitchen correctly”

He doesn’t want to cook and wants you to do it, possibly because you don’t have a penis.

Thing is, he can cook. Whenever he cooks its such a big deal to him. He gets really grumpy and wants heaps of praise.

What a dick.

Your dh sounds an utter dick.

This was so sad to read.

I hope your life is happy in other areas.

Wait, he said you need to go to the doctor because you didn’t know what you were talking about? What a nasty, nasty thing to say. I’m glad you are well-fed OP because I think you need some strength to start building some boundaries and DEMANDING respect from this man.

He sounds horrible and pathetic, Hopefully you can initiate some changes

I know someone who makes a fuss about being a good cook and leaves fat and mess everywhere. I think that his wife now makes him clean the pots etc, just as well.

As my friend says she cooks every bloody night ,he does a roast or BBQ and expects a round of Applause and a sodding drum roll FFS!

I'm so glad I'm dating an ex chef after reading this! Yes the kitchen looks like a tip afterwards, but I get lovely food willingly cooked for me.

I'd make him cook more often OP. And shop etc. for it too.

Show-off amateurs and professional chef should be good at cleaning up too!

@Elderflower14
That's a lovely post

Hope he enjoyed his pancakes.

Sod off Dozer. I actually have one of the good ones.

I'm so glad I'm dating an ex chef after reading this! Yes the kitchen looks like a tip afterwards, but I get lovely food willingly cooked for me.

Any decent chef never leaves the kitchen a bombsite. Even the ones on MasterChef The Professionals clean their own kitchens after.