Help me stay strong. DH cooking dinner

[Fartlek]

I normally cook as I like to cook and I work less hours. Tonight though, we have finished a portion of a house project and I submitted my OU assignment. The reward for putting in the work and getting it finished was a treat for us. I voted for a takeaway. DH vetoed this and voted for a nice steak dinner with nice wine and then cheese to finish. I said it isn't really a treat if I have to cook it. So he said he would cook. So far, so good.
I took DS swimming this afternoon and then to shop for the dinner ingredients and got home just before 6. Put the grocery bag down in the kitchen, poured a glass of wine and sat down to relax.
Oh no. DH comes in all 'look at the time, I think it needs to be a collaborative effort babe'. Essentially I say no, he goes back to kitchen. DH comes back 'so I'm doing your job by putting shopping away (one bag).'
Me 'everything in the bag is for the dinner'
Out he goes
DH again 'what about the potatoes? What kind? Baked? Boiled? Roasties?'
Me 'whatever you like, your choice'
And on and on. He doesn't know how to saute mushrooms so why should he have to cook them? (I told him how)
Fucks sake. Can I not have one night where I get to sit and do nothing while he cooks?
There is a lot of banging coming from the kitchen now. How much you wanna bet the bits of the meal I like (mushrooms) will be ruined?
Please help me to not help him.

Collaborative effort, you already did the shopping!

Also wanting D's off the PS4 so you have to entertain him.

This can't be a one off knobhead behaviour?

Brussels??
Ugh

He needs to cook more often OP as he clearly needs the practice! My DH cooks at the weekends. I have finally weened him off asking me 'what shall I cook?' as I actually find the mental load of thinking about what to cook worse than doing the actual cooking. He once decided he would cook lasagne and then followed it up with "but I only know how to cook bolognaise". I pointed him in the direction of a suitable cookbook, reminded him he knows how to read and left the kitchen with wine. I hope your dinner turns out half decent - if the atmosphere spoils it you could always eat it in another room!

Stay strong!

You wanted takeaway as you cook all the time. Instead you had to shop for the meal and still carry the mental load? Sorry op next time DH does not get a vote.

I got the shopping on the way back from the pool, it was no bother. He seems to be getting into the spirit now so there's hope. I got the wine with no comment.
@LizzieSiddal I will tell him that later I think.
And Brussels can be eaten with just about anything!

I feel your pain. DH can’t cook but if he has to put something in the oven it’s like a fucking three ring circus.

I get my own back by only buying and cooking things I like.

It must be so depressing having no autonomy over the food you eat.

My DP is a good cook but he takes so long over it. Just had a lovely meal of smoked basa, grains in a microwavable pouch, braised fennel and chargrilled asparagus. However he took his eye off the asparagus (probably killing zombies) and the kitchen and living room are full of smoke! He had the really really chargrilled asparagus spears though.

My DH always wants “help” when cooking but I notice doesn’t help when it comes to tidying as he “cooked”

I have to lock myself in another room if DH cooks. It's really not worth it! Insist on a takeaway next time.

I’m quite lucky in that DH is a great cook and cooks us some lovely fancy meals. But he can’t seem to tidy up as he goes along and when he cooks, I clean up. It kind of ruins the relaxing meal looking round at the mess I have to clean up with gritted teeth. Eg tin opener still with tinned tomatoes lid on it sitting on the side and the can not rinsed out or put in recycling bin. Dried on raw chicken on the chopping board just sitting on the side. Ten million spoons and knives used for simple prep of veg.

When I cook, I put all the stuff in the recycling bin, rinse out the garlic press, wash the chopping board that was used for chopping chicken etc. All he has to clear up is our plates and cutlery and maybe 2 pans.

Why is it your job to empty a shopping bag?

Do you support that division of labour normally?

Ugh, hope the food is worth it. If anything like my DH he will also dirty every single thing in the kitchen then put his feet up and congratulate himself on a job well done while you clean up the chaos.

I would have murdered him after the comment about how it's your job to pot the shopping away. WTF?

So according to him, you were supposed to do the shopping, then basically cook it as he does not know how, and I bet also set the table and clean up the kitchen afterwards?
Which part exactly is the 'treat' here?

And why are you cooking every night while he is playing video games anyway?

My lovely ds2 Facetimes me when he cooks as he isn't a confident cook.... He's deaf and autistic..He lives the other side of the country.. Not long ago during a cooking session the smoke alarm was going off and he couldn't hear it...🤯
My Mum was panicking... He now has a louder smoke alarm and flashing lights... He got very excited on Pancake Day as he could hear it!!

What a cheeky bastard! Next time don't let him have a veto.

Does the cook usually wash up at yours?
Please try to stick to normal rules - to be fair, you DID want a takeout....

Not sure how my dh ended up in your house OP! I have given up in the hopes that I will ever get a lovely tasty dinner just handed to me without any of my input at all. Now I either cook or I get a takeaway, dh cant cook anything harder than beige freezer food although he does try, I just really dislike his cooking. Hopefully you will get something edible without any prompting

I couldn’t be with someone like this. My heart rate is up just reading this. You might work fewer hours out of the house but he clearly needs the practise and needs to start doing a lot more. Can he make a meal for DS? What would happen if you get ill, go away?

I don't work due to mental health issues and I am awaiting a back operation so I'm in so much pain. My fiance helps me with the cooking. Because he works I usually cook but at the moment I need a bit of a hand due to getting things out of the freezer etc. When I'm working we share cooking equally. When. My fiance cooks as he still does at times he doesn't ask me to help. He can cook a basic meal, nothing elaborate but it always appreciated. I wash up and he usually wipes around. I think your husband should cook more. I can't believe his cheek saying putting shopping away is your job!

Oh dear lord!

He sounds horrible& pathetic!

I can send you my DH for a few weeks if you like? He's a very good cook, washing up not so good, very huffy and dramatic at the moment due to a broken leg and not being able to drive. Or do much at all. Rude enough to me in the supermarket earlier that I walked out, left him to get on with it and waited for him in the car.

He got to 'veto' your vote under the pretence of him cooking, yet you're still expected to do all the shopping and instruct him? No. Put the whole man in the bin.

Stop being happy with more than you're worth.

When eat it go really big on the “see you can cook, no need for all the upset was there” are you going to do every Saturday!