Cheating

[Lolaviolet1]

Hi , so a year ago I had a message from my boyfriends friend showing explicit messages that my boyfriend had sent to his friends girlfriend. The day he sent these messages we had had an argument and he had been out drinking all day so obviously he used that as an excuse . But he has known and worked with this girl for years . Anyway he said they are no longer friends and she doesn’t work there anymore. But my boyfriend left his job yesterday and I’ve just read his cards from all the staff and she has wrote in it and left a message so clearly she still works there . Now we agreed last year to leave it all in the past but it still plays on me and I feel he’s lied that in fact she does still work there and probably still talk ? What should I do ? I know he will make out I’m crazy if I confront it .

It's your last sentence that's the most telling...

He is a liar. He is a cheat. He is manipulative making out you're the crazy one? I don't fucking think so. Kick his lying cheating arse to the kerb and work on you. How to love yourself, how to have good boundaries, how to value yourself. Watch some Stephanie Lyn coaching videos and don't waste any more time on this sleazy lying abusive piece of shit

Literally feel like I’m going mad

His work arranged a staff meal Friday and I asked who was going he just said everyone I think , pretty sure she was there

You agreed to leave it in the past, but he hasn't had he? She's still very much in his life and he's continued to lie to you since it happened by telling you she left, she hasn't.

Yeah , he said she didn’t work there Anymore so I never questioned it again . But she does work there so he’s lied about that .

Just letting you know you've had a name change fail OP x

Yes I know I couldn’t edit the first message x

This all seems to be over the top.
A drunk explicit message over a year ago obviously isn’t great, however....
If this is a gf of his friend - presumably you all see each other sometimes anyway.
And if anything else had gone on - that friend would have let you know as he was quick to do the first time around.
Also - if the two of them wanted to be together - they have had years...
Etc

So - he didn’t tell you she still worked there - and that was probably cowardly and try to make his life easier.
In our place - I’d have an adult conversation about it - would tell him you know she still worked there and that it was silly to try to hide that. Would say that honesty was important, etc. There is a way of having this conversation without it becoming hysterical or accusatory.

I’ve never met them they all worked at the same place together. Just can’t bare the lies

i wouldn’t be happy with him lying