Devastated by conviction for child sex abuse images - need a handhold. Trigger Warning *title edited by MNHQ*

[thisstorywtf]

NC for this. My PhD supervisor, mentor and friend. WTF? Am reeling.

www.coventrytelegraph.net/news/coventry-news/former-cov-uni-professor-more-17792626

I think the op is well aware of the suffering of the victims. That doesn’t mean she’s not suffering too. You question how you didn’t know, didn’t see it, were fooled. These crimes have an impact like a ripple effect and affect so many people.

Thank you for posting @childpornwtf.

I see these offences, and these lenient sentences and I think of the victims. Sometimes I think of the family and wonder how they have coped with finding out their family member has done these things. Your post is the first to make me see how truly wide the ripples of this crime flow. It's heartbreaking.

That's awful OP what a horrible thing to find out.

OP, I'm so sorry for what you have been through and that your world has been further shaken with the revelation that someone else you trusted and were close to was guilty of this behaviour. Please seek out some rl support if you are able.

Like PPs have said it is a disgrace that a judge can justify such a lenient sentence on the basis he found himself with 'too much time on his hands'. There is simply no acknowledgement of the pain and suffering others have (and are still) enduring because of his behaviour.

Am so sorry OP; there are people out there who are really not who they seem, such often hide in plain sight too.

Re a comment that Roselilly36 made:-
"You never think it will be a person that you know or have worked with or met. And that is the most frightening thing, you would just never suspect".

That was my experience too.

Something he did because he was bored in retirement? No, he did it because he's a paedophile and always has been. You don't wake up one day and become one.

It's distressing when someone you know is discovered to have done something as sick and depraved as this. Every sympathy from me, OP.

A lot of people struggle with the change when retirement comes. You were isolated to a degree you were unfamiliar with, and you had too much time on your hands, and you fell into deeply unfortunate patterns of behaviour which crossed the boundary into becoming criminal. The prospects of you doing anything like this ever again are vanishingly low. I have concluded a just and proportionate sentence in this case is a community order.

Bollocks. Most people's reaction to having time on their hands/retiring is NOT to look at hundreds of indecent images of children. As for not doing it again, well, he only stopped when he was caught, so why wouldn't he do it again?? He could have been doing it for years.

Disgustingly lenient sentence.

OP, I'm sorry. terrible shock for you. And of course, for his family.

No, he did it because he's a paedophile and always has been.

That is what my husband is finding difficult. Turns out that I have met the man too, although I don't remember him.

How awful and devastating for you and the poor victims of this OP
No wonder you are shocked you must be questioning what was real.
Perverts like this use their 'respectability' as a cover for their true natures.
There really is no justice and quite often powerful men like this are involved in rings of extreme child abuse.
The Judge in question has sickened me and has massively minimised this.
I am not one for revenge or vigilantiasim but really hoping in this case word gets out to the angry mob.
It may be that he gets locked up anyasy 'for his own safety'
I can see in this instance how some people mete out their own justice.
Also putting him on Sex offenders register does that stop him travelling to places like Cambodia etc. Where there is child exploitation,?
Please look after yourselves and when you have processed this with support maybe channel your anger and disgust by campaigning for tougher sentences.
Giving you a hand hold and wishing you strength in the coming weeks.

I’m going to say something which may not go down well but it’s the truth. I’ve worked extensively with men who have committed this particular offence and in the vast majority of cases they didn’t have an interest in children before. What happens is they start off with “regular” porn, it becomes an addiction, but over time it ceases to satisfy them, they then move on to more hardcore porn, same thing happens again. Eventually, through the sites they are visiting, they see child abuse and that’s how it starts.

I’m saying this because this conviction does not mean he’s spent his whole life looking at children with any kind of desire. It’s quite possible he was the man everyone thought he was until he went down this dark path. I’m not saying that to excuse him in any way at all. What he did was wrong and awful and I am not justifying it in any way. All I am saying is that OP shouldn’t feel bad for liking the person he was before, or feel that maybe she should have noticed something “off” about him before. It’s quite possible that at that time, he was that man. Until he changed.

'Unfortunate patterns of behaviour'...'unfortunate'! the judge showing his colours there. Fucking filthy bastards.

Jesus christ you must be in bits

What an awful excuse for a man

Sending love hugs and mn support xxx

So have I @Meruem and I disagree. These men aren't victims who sleepwalk into paedophilia unwittingly because grown women don't do it for them anymore. No, it doesn't work like that. Although I've heard the excuse many a time. I'm more inclined to believe that pornsick men go down the extreme violence route and seek out more and more shocking shit involving other adults.

Oh, I’m so sorry. This must be awful for you.
I just keep thinking of that research that suggested 1 in 35 men could have paedophile tendencies.
Can’t quite understand the judges comments, but seems to be something he did after retirement “with too much time on his hands”. Bit bizarre. It’s not like you accidentally fall into this stuff because you’re a bit bored.

@childpornwtf Its hard to wrap your head around isnt it. I've known someone for many many years, since he was a young boy who got caught. Just goes to show we have no idea what people do behind closed doors.

@Meruem I totally agree with you.

@Meruem sorry but the men you have worked with had a choice. Don't minimise porn as a gateway for child abuse. Images such as Cat A have to be searched for as given their vile content, dont just pop up.
An intelligent male or any male who participates in society will understand the illegality and consequences of having sick desires aimed towards innocent children.
Especially given the high profile celebrity cases/ exposure of peadophile rings and condemnation of this and protection of children.
Its a choice, and the men you work with are very good (until they are caught) at hiding this claiming 'porn' led them to it.
Adult and childrens bodies are very different, men with normal sexual preferences would not find abuse desirable.
I know you are trying to make OP feel better but really, please, its a very poor arguement.

My teacher in year 7 was abusing some of the girls in my class, not me, but I do remember a few weird things he did like sitting other girls on his knee all the time. The girls told me what he had done in year 8. The teacher committed suicide a short time after this. I think he was right to kill himself.

I’m don’t want to get into a debate about it because I don’t want to derail OP’s thread. Yes they know it’s wrong and they have a choice. As I say, I am not minimising or excusing their behaviour. But if you can’t see that porn can (in some cases) be a gateway to other things, then you are being naive. Cases like this are rising all the time. We need to start addressing why, not just excuse it with “well he was clearly always like that”. That is minimising the very serious situation we are in. While we blame the individual (which yes they are to blame) we are ignoring all the other factors that are contributing to this being a growing crime.

Before you criticise the sentencing just remember the guidlines are set by government not by the judiciary, for a first offence with someone of previous good character it is usual. You must remember our prisons are overcrowded, and we have only seen the part of the judgment that the press has seen fit to print.
We don't know the Judge might personally feel that this bloke should be flogged in the street but he/she has to adhere to goverment set guidelines.
Think about it, due to his crime what remains of his life is now irretrievably ruined, due to the publicity and the hidieous nature of his crime. No one will want to know this person of previous good standing who had some status within his field and in the community. He will be viewed very differently from now on, and so he should be.

He has multiple victims, his family, those who previously admired him, and the children in those films. He is now on the "radar" his ultimate punishment is that he will have no peace for the rest of his life, there is no coming back from this, how ever many "courses" he goes on.

The OP is rightly devastated as someone who she previously trusted and held in high regard, has in effect betrayed her and because of her history is feeling this severely, however we only know what the press has reported and have n't seen the full transcript of the trial and judgment.

@Meruem whilst I don't disagree with your comments which I assume come from professional experience, I think that's been the case since the internet and the dark web. However, a lot of people who have commented here about their personal experiences which would have happened before that. Myself included, back in the 80's.

With that personal experience and going through safeguarding training with the NSPCC whereby we had to watch interviews with convicted paedophiles it's clear that they are masters at grooming not just the child, but everyone around that child.

They pull the wool over everyone's eyes inc their own work colleagues to place them above suspicion. This only makes it harder for any child to speak up because it limits access to anyone who may be able to help and they become even more isolated and feel helpless.

The fact that this man had no thought for these poor children. Was he just dehumanising them and unable to relate his actions for example to his own grandchild and the impact on them if they were victim to some other predator...

I would question whether a porn addiction had escalated to include children through sheer boredom, or was he just a very smart man who also happens to be a paedophile and it was having this time on his hands and access to the internet that meant he could cater to innate desires. I'd have to say the latter.

Agree Meruem.

I am glad this thread is helping you. Be kind to yourself. Lots of self care. Is there anything you can do today to look after yourself op?

I’m getting even more angry with this ridiculous sentence. Being disabled and having a bunch of issues, I don’t have energy to do much, cannot work etc. Yet I do not find myself compelled to look up images of children being abused.

Sentencing in the last few days that spring to mind. 1) Two ticket touts got 4 and 2 years in prison for making millions out of people stupid enough to pay for tickets to go and do nice things. 2) The person, who drove his lorry down the slip road the wrong way and thankfully injured no one - 6 months. Both very wrong.

Much as the ticket touts disgustingly resold charity tickets, their customers had a choice. Ergo I would think this to be considered a victimless crime. The lorry driver had no victims beyond shocked drivers and a near miss. Prison for victimless crimes. No custodial sentence for paying the abusers of children and in turn becoming an abuser himself. Ffs

I think he was right to kill himself.

Wow. I think punishment would have been a better option.