Before I start my thread, I dont want to know if porn is a deal breaker for you, I know I have insecurity issues and I will find it very hard to meet a man that doesnt dabble in it now and then. My partner looks at it, and nude celebrities and I only know this from going through his phone. I went through it because I am paranoid and I'm insecure, I wont deny that. It makes me feel a little bit like I'm not sexy enough etc but he has never cheated on me and he treats me well and we laugh together. We usually have sex once a week, sometimes twice. It has trailed off from when we first met as we didnt live together and it was exciting back then 😂 Really though the main thing for me is someone faithful and loyal so my trust levels are pretty shit.
Now the porn did hurt, the thought of him thinking another woman's body is so hot and enough to touch himself over. When I get insecure he tells me that hes here living with me and hes chosen me to share his life with. I have accused him in the past and he states that he can't believe I think he would hurt me like that.
He does not know I've seen the porn on his phone. It was one evening and last week when he went downstairs cos he couldn't sleep and there was not anything else since then but I'm now worrying that every time he goes downstairs, up in the bedroom by himself or I go out, he is going to go straight on his phone to look up nude celebrities and porn. The nude celebrity ones where like full on leg spread boobs out porn like photos. Sex to me is a way to reassure and connect with someone and show them that you love them. It's the only way that I feel like I know he is attracted to me. Is that logical or am I totally reading sex and love wrongly.
So from what my first sentence said, I know he watches it and I know I can not control him and make him not look at it cos he is his own person and I love him so much so if I control him and be possessive then he will find someone who is more understanding and connects with him more. Should I stop snooping on his phone looking for stuff because if I did not look then I wouldn't of known he done it as he was attentive and happy to be around me the day after and nothing was out of the ordinary. I know some women hate porn as their mans way of masturbating but he hasn't given any signs of cheating physically or emotionally with anyone. I'm so stuck as I love this man to pieces